My Children Select Costumes for Their True Selves

Angel and professional halo polisher.

Not as bad as he would wish.

I would like to be able to tell you that I painstakingly home sewed these two costumes. But we both know me too well. What I DID was to hie to the Target last November when all the Halloween stuff was 90 percent off. I bought a trunk of costumes for two and three bucks each, and then--here's the pro tip--didn't show them to the kids. Then I put them in a storage bin and forgot about them, and the calendar pages began to flutter and flip themselves faster and faster as the seasons went around. When the air grew crisp and the first peep about Halloween costume selection was peeped, I unearthed the tub of costumes and said, "Kids, behold my harvest!"

That is my story of the housewifely arts.

The kids had a wonderful time trick-or-treating, and really, how could it have been otherwise? I mean the whole scene is stone-cold awesome and they enjoyed it fully. Laura and her buds continued their tradition of going out on the golf cart with Mr. Normal Neighbor, which lets them haul in a truly excessive amount of candy. I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet. Laura's bag weighed 8.5 pounds.

Hank climbed in the back of the neighbor's truck and got to go to an extra street, while I continued my Halloween tradition of having a beer with one of the K(C)athies.

Next year I might say No Motorized Conveyance for trick-or-treating. It's like shooting from the jeep while on safari. Not sporting? That will be an unpopular policy, why do I sound like such a killjoy all of the sudden? But an idea for all this candy is needed. What are y'all doing? I have heard lately of the Halloween fairy, who takes the candy and replaces it with a toy, but that somehow makes me almost as queasy as letting the children eat a pillowcase full of candy. Like, there are moments when you don't just suspect, you KNOW that you are raising some of the most indulged creatures on earth, at any time, ever.

They are cute though. Hank asked me, not once, but on multiple occasions, if the neighbors would think he was "really a robber," and whether they might be worried to see him out marauding. He really seemed concerned that he might be caught up and put in a paddy wagon. I told him that, first of all, he was a kid, and that also the contextual help of it being Halloween would prevent any misunderstanding. He was reassured.

I do love Halloween. I love the season and everything about it. A few more pics are here. Did y'all have a good night?

Oh, I almost forgot! My sister and I have goaded each other into agreeing to do the blog-every-day-in-November thing. That will be a thing! That will happen! Will you come around and read? I think I need to go sign up somewhere official or get a button, but I'm telling you guys first. There is no piece of paper or button that could make what we have any better, baby.