Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My Children Select Costumes for Their True Selves

Angel
Angel and professional halo polisher.

Robber
Not as bad as he would wish.
I would like to be able to tell you that I painstakingly home sewed these two costumes. But we both know me too well. What I DID was to hie to the Target last November when all the Halloween stuff was 90 percent off. I bought a trunk of costumes for two and three bucks each, and then--here's the pro tip--didn't show them to the kids. Then I put them in a storage bin and forgot about them, and the calendar pages began to flutter and flip themselves faster and faster as the seasons went around. When the air grew crisp and the first peep about Halloween costume selection was peeped, I unearthed the tub of costumes and said, "Kids, behold my harvest!"

That is my story of the housewifely arts.

The kids had a wonderful time trick-or-treating, and really, how could it have been otherwise? I mean the whole scene is stone-cold awesome and they enjoyed it fully. Laura and her buds continued their tradition of going out on the golf cart with Mr. Normal Neighbor, which lets them haul in a truly excessive amount of candy. I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet. Laura's bag weighed 8.5 pounds.

Hank climbed in the back of the neighbor's truck and got to go to an extra street, while I continued my Halloween tradition of having a beer with one of the K(C)athies.

Next year I might say No Motorized Conveyance for trick-or-treating. It's like shooting from the jeep while on safari. Not sporting? That will be an unpopular policy, why do I sound like such a killjoy all of the sudden? But an idea for all this candy is needed. What are y'all doing? I have heard lately of the Halloween fairy, who takes the candy and replaces it with a toy, but that somehow makes me almost as queasy as letting the children eat a pillowcase full of candy. Like, there are moments when you don't just suspect, you KNOW that you are raising some of the most indulged creatures on earth, at any time, ever.

They are cute though. Hank asked me, not once, but on multiple occasions, if the neighbors would think he was "really a robber," and whether they might be worried to see him out marauding. He really seemed concerned that he might be caught up and put in a paddy wagon. I told him that, first of all, he was a kid, and that also the contextual help of it being Halloween would prevent any misunderstanding. He was reassured.

I do love Halloween. I love the season and everything about it. A few more pics are here. Did y'all have a good night?

Oh, I almost forgot! My sister and I have goaded each other into agreeing to do the blog-every-day-in-November thing. That will be a thing! That will happen! Will you come around and read? I think I need to go sign up somewhere official or get a button, but I'm telling you guys first. There is no piece of paper or button that could make what we have any better, baby.

22 comments:

Kelly said...

You could donate it to the teachers. I bet they could use it in a treasure box sort of thing. Or I have heard you can send candy to the troops. I can't even comprehend 8.5lbs of candy. Way to go L!

Amy said...

Some people use the chocolate for choc chip cookies? I think?

But, dang. 8.5 lbs. Unreal!

That made me laugh about how you know you are raising the most indulged kids ever. Because it so perfectly expresses how I've felt often, but couldn't articulate. YOu're good like that. :)

Kids Today!

Blog marathon is ON. Bring it.

Noan said...

Can you hear me? I am here in Scottsdale, Arizona clapping my hands vigorously for your blog-every-day- in-November decision!

Shannon said...

I divided what we had left (think we missed a bunch of kids if they started early in the night) between a bag for the local shelter and a bag to drop at the National Guard office.

Happy to find you in the reader! :)

Elle said...

I have already blogged my own blog for tonight, so I will tell you here: Becky, this morning, when I woke up in a house free of candy and children worrying me about the g.d. candy, o, the relief.

Three years ago (four?), they sold their candy (25-plus pounds between them) to an orthdontist paying $3/lb. As soon as the practice door closed behind us, I hissed at them, "Run! Go to the car before they figure out what just happened!" like we had just knocked over a liquor store.

Lord.

They did that for a couple of years. Last year, they came to my bedside to wake me up at 7 or something, asking about all the candy, so you know I got up & pulled on a pair of jeans and took it all outside to put it right in the garbage can. Because candy had obvsly made them lose their damn minds.

Keely said...

I'd adore it if you posted every day. Doooo eeet.

I know how you feel about the candy. X got at least 5 lbs. That's more than a pound per year he's been alive. Ridic.

Elizabeth said...

Adorable. I'm always amazed how much your kids look like you AND your husband.

I'm just sighing at all the candy. I heard of a woman in my neighborhood who is taking ALL of the candy of her twin sons (nine years old) and giving it to the homeless. That seems cruel -- to both the kids and to the homeless, no?

I let my own boys go hog wild with the candy and they inevitably get sick of it. I then gather it up and put it "away" and out of reach or throw it away. When they were little I put it in their birthday pinatas.

The blog marathon? I'm so excited -- please do it!

Veronica said...

Hurray for blogging every day! It's too bad we don't get to enjoy more about the autumn -- I heard "Jingle Bell Rock" on the radio today, and was inundated with catalogs and other Christmas-related ads. It's November 1st, clearly Christmastime?

Star said...

Too much candy? Freezers are our friends. Chocolate freezes just fine, it isn't as pretty coming out as it was when it went it, but it freezes just fine. You'll be blogging every day in Nov.? Yeah!

Michele said...

The kids are too cute.
Freeze some. Bake some in cookie dough then freeze for Christmas gifts. Pick out all the good ones then hide for yourself.
Blog everyday? Go for it! (so says the lazy woman who will not blog everyday but will sit at her kitchen table with a cup of coffee reading yours)

Michele R said...

I too read every day more than I write (obviously).
The kids look great!
You know, as much as we are all strict about many things as parents I make no issues over them dressing up and bringing home candy. We ooh and ahh over their pile of loot and the rare and coveted full sized candy bar scored. No kid over here gets all hyper, no kid over here is overweight or has health issues and not one has gotten a cavity (OK, Youngest did in February in a baby molar and I knew it would fall out soon so I refused the filling on that basis and the tooth did fall out about 5 months later). My husband, the neat freak, goes crazy if wrappers are left anywhere so there's that.

Linda said...

So glad you are blogging everyday. Favorite part of my day is when you have a new post! You capture all the everyday things so beautifully.

Amy said...

Huh-larious, as usu. Loved the pro tip. Sadly, I am always so knackered from my last-min sewing endeavors that I can't make it out for the 90%-off costumes and thus begins the vicious cycle.

Re the MatronsBloPoMo, 30 Matron posts are a fine thing to look forward to. Me, I loved it when you did that back in August, because when everyone else is doing it (i.e. Nov) I get o'erwhelmed. Which is clearly a personal problem. Rock the posts, Matrons!

Lisa Lilienthal said...

I'm with Elizabeth, let them eat & get sick of it (Cooper already has, Annabelle is more of a glutton like her mama) and then just trash it!

Dancer said...

in response to your question about the candy, I suggest you read this blog post from Chinese Grandma.
http://www.chinesegrandma.com/2011/10/kids-eat-halloween-candy/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+chinesegrandma+%28chinese+grandma%29

KathyS said...

Woooot for blogaday November! Also, how do I become one of those K(C)athies with whom beer is consumed?

Also: want to trick or treat with Laura, want to steal Hank.

kylydia said...

Looking at the photos on Flickr, I am confused about one of the Gang of Four's costumes. Is she a teen mother for Halloween?

Becky said...

Ha! She said she was a mommy. Her diaper bag was also her candy bag. I told her that, with lipstick and jewelry on, she was a mommy on a really good day.

Allison said...

Yay! We love the blog-a-day.

AlGalMom said...

Yay! I'm glad you're going to NaBloPoMo! I came today expressly hoping you would say that! :)

I've given up with candy. Our rule is "no candy before breakfast, and no candy in bed." So far, it is going ok.

Beth said...

Aha! This is how I missed 4 posts. One of these days, I'm gonna have to do one of these here blogaday thingys.

Aimee said...

Our candy ritual started about 4 years ago, when I was on Weight Watchers.

After trick-or-treating, the kids can have some candy. A few pieces. Then, they sort and trade and can pick 30 pieces to keep. The rest is tied up in a grocery bag and goes to work with Jason the next day, where it promptly dissolves in a magic box know as The Break Room. The 30 pieces the kids keep are savored, one at a time, every night after dinner, throughout November.

There are SO many great results from this plan:

-The kids aren't on a week-long sugar high.
-Their candy lasts ALL MONTH.
-I CAN'T steal any, because they will know if the candy doesn't last all month.
-I feel very holier-than-thou.