Friday, November 11, 2011

Inappropriate Attire

Guess who was a minute late for preschool drop-off at the curb, and had to park and walk her child in wearing shortie compression shorts, her husband's sweatshirt, and Uggs? WINNING. I mean, these shorts, you put them on and you're still not really wearing pants. Perhaps I should not have set out into the world dressed this way, but I do not make my best decisions first thing in the morning. When I walked back into the house in this ensemble, Matt looked me over and said, "Well, I mean, each of those is technically an item of clothing. I don't see a problem."

Then, tonight, we had our mixed doubles practice at 7. It was nippy, somewhere down in the 40's, so I pulled on these spandex-y running leggings.


Yes, they have a sort of an outrageous tie-dyed pattern, but what are we, Amish? I thought they were cute, and they have a fuzzy lining, very cozy. But the following remarks were addressed to me by my lady teammates:

1) "I have to ask you where you got those." This was said not in a "I want some for myself" kind of way, but more in a "The selling of those pants is a crime against humanity and I want to know where to address my letter of protest" kind of way.

2) "Is there even a pocket in those?" No, that's what the jacket is for.

And, my favorite, from the "is there a pocket" girl's husband, who was not even playing on my court at that moment and spoke to me out of nowhere:

"Are those pants comfortable?" he said. I don't know exactly how to characterize this utterance, except it was odd to be addressed about one's pants by a male acquaintance. I answered that they were comfortable. Perhaps he wanted to seek out the male version for his own use? Or perhaps he's in the garment business and it was an impromptu focus group? Not sure. Then he spoke to me one other time while I was serving, some non sequitur, and I smiled at him and said, "You play on your court, and we'll play on ours." I said it sweetly 'cause I'm a lady and all.

But the Nike running pants are apparently some kind of Federal Case. WHATEVER, BITCHES. I can't help it if I'm fabulous.

Just classin' up the burbs on a Friday.

Weather has turned chilly, though it's still so beautiful and sunny. The trees were wonderful here this last week; it takes a long time for the oaks down here to get to peak color. Now the leaves are dropping like crazy. There's already a lot more light coming through the trees into my breakfast room. I have to get used to the way winter looks again.

Also, winter is going to look like my tie-dyed spandex ass. Maybe I will wear these to bookclub.

What have y'all got going on this weekend? Raking?
xo
b

10 comments:

A Day That is Dessert said...

Haha!! The times I leave the house regrettably dressed, I always, always see someone I know, someone I wish I hadn't while dressed that way.

I like the tie dye.

Elizabeth said...

You wouldn't get a blink here in LA. At my daughter's public high school, the dress code lists CURLERS as a don't, which indicates that people here might actually consider wearing them to school, probably in their pajamas.

Elizabeth said...

Oh, and we won't even talk about the get-ups one sees at the Trader Joe's with Uggs.

Lisa Lilienthal said...

you totally need to wear those to book club.

Amy said...

Hmmm...while I firmly believe in your ability to pull anything off, I can't say I'm LOVING the leggings. But yeah, it was weird for that guy to say stuff. I think he addressed the later comment to you cause he felt bad about asking before? So maybe he was trying to break some ice? I dunno.

Either way, rock those tie dyed, possibly too weird leggings!! OWN IT.

M said...

So these pants are lined with a shearling-esque substance, like Uggs? You could outfit the whole family in these suckers and never turn the heat on in your house all winter!

Keely said...

I leave the house in questionable gear all the time. When I do, I make a point of texting my very fashion-conscious, always-appropriately-attired friend, just to frustrate her. I think she's planning an intervention.

What the hecks are compression shorts? I love Matt's response. So...male.

delaine said...

Those leggings do look comfortable. It is odd that the man would comment from afar. It's not really proper. Can you imagine Matt doing such a thing? No, I didn't think so.
Do you ever wonder if anyone takes you picture with an iPhone when you're not looking. Kinda freaky to think of, huh?

yelladoesstuff said...

You know, sometimes appropriate attire is an elusive beast. I sported a yellow, strapless bathing suit cover-up dress-thingy from Target over my bathing suit...with Uggs...and maybe a knit shrug on Friday morning for my trip to water aerobics. Ok, then I added a scarf I'd left in the car because I had to run in to Target afterwards. I think it's a win though, since I was wearing at least one location-appropriate item at each location, even if I ended up being the crazy lady in a wet bathing suit and scarf at Target.

Perhaps I need to invest in tye dye leggings. I'll have my husband ask you where to find those gems.

Kate said...

Very nice. I spent the whole day in spandex, so I shall say, why the hell not was it tye-dye? I was missing out, you know??