Monday, November 14, 2011

Mattress Open

Sometimes you lie down in your five year-old's room at bedtime and then three hours go by. Then you awaken, hot and resentful, a possible crick in your neck. Yes, a "crick." Do you suffer from these or is it a Southern malady? C-R-I-C-K. So I got me a big ol' crick in my neck and I'm lying there out of sorts and then the knowledge that I have to blog pulls me to alertness, gets me to my feet, and brings me in here to you, Reader.

I was dreaming that Matt put all the beds in the house on the living room floor, and we hosted a wrestling tournament called the Mattress Open. True dream.

In real life I would push for it to be a bit more Mattress Invitational.

Earlier, Pretty Neighbor asked me what I'd been up to today and I could not give a satisfactory answer. I do know that I went to her house for our twenty-five minute workout and it took two-and-a-half hours. First we had our preliminary chatting, which is tinged with procrastination. Then our combined five children, who are all in the house, needed to seek our attention for various things. Then we actually worked out. Then we drank a beer and had postliminary chat while it got dark. Some days that twenty-five minute workout can take as little as thirty five minutes to complete, but other days, we need the long form. I think everything in my day must have been similarly time-inflated.

She is farther along in Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet than I am, and she is not finding it so execrable, so I recommitted to finishing it.

The news of the evening was that Laura has been cast as Jacob Marley in the 5th grade performance of A Christmas Carol. This is somehow hilarious to Matt and me, and Laura is tickled. She feels that finding the exact right piece of chain will help her get to the emotional core of the character, and her "Scroooooge!" is really something to hear. Think of a pretend ghost from Scooby Doo, one unmasked by Shaggy and Velma at the end of the episode. Got it? You're there.

She wears the chains she forged in life.

For supper, I'd made a split pea soup that only Matt and I liked. Hank asked if it was "frog toes boiled in frog juice."

Somebody must have been boiled in brat juice.

Maybe I will be back tomorrow with something, anything, to say. Please continue to rock onward.

16 comments:

Life on The Rowland Ranch said...

Congrats to your sweet girl! She is gonna rock that part! What workout are you doing these days? I need to find one that's only about 25 minutes long..and will get this post pregnancy bod into shape! Excercising is definitely not my favorite thing to do but I've especially been inspired lately by you and your sisters commitment to exercise.. Amy and I used to bond over our hatred of exercise and lack of it so now that she's all in shape I'm feeling umm...not in shape. Always enjoy reading your blog. It's a highlight of my fun, child filled day! :)

Amy said...

Jane, I feel compelled to note that you are always back into your regular jeans when your baby is like 4 minutes old. So I don't think you need to worry too much! ;)

I LOL'ed for real at "she wears the chains she forged in life" and "frog toes boiled in frog juice". Maybe Hank would've eaten it if that's what you told him it was. And Laura will be a great Jacob Marley! Can't wait to see the video. Marley is a tragic character, really. Goofy playing him in the cartoon version kind of obscures that, I think.

Hootie said...

Actually Amy, Dickens modeled Marley's character on a great uncle of his, who was in fact a lanky, anthropomorphic dog. So I think casting Goofy in that role was really a nod to the source material. And of course, the producers of Marley & Me had this in mind when they cast a yellow lab as Marley (opposite Owen Wilson, who is in real life a lanky, anthropomorphic dog.)

It's the circle of life.

Amy said...

Even when you have nothing to say, you say it so amusingly, girl. Boiled in brat juice, indeed.

How about blogging on how you and Matt met? That, or the format and rules of a Mattress Invitational tournament. Both of these topics interest me.

delaine said...

Go Laura! I'm sure she will occupy the character of Marley and make it her own. That'll be fun to see. Now about that soup:I think Hank's question is great. I think he's got it right. Yuck!

Justine said...

I am the only one in my household who loves split pea soup, and I defiantly make a huge pot of it and then proceed to eat the frozen remains for six months. Lentil soup is a bigger hit and easier to make, so when I am not feeling a reckless disregard for my family's known dislikes, I make it instead.

AlGalMom said...

I wish my children complained about my cooking as humorously as Hank. (I will definitely be muttering the "boiled in brat juice" line to myself in the days to come.) Anymore, I only cook for myself and my husband, because I am almost guaranteed that one or more of my children will react to what I put on their plate as if it were poison. But instead of hilarious one-liners, their complaints are more along the lines of "Eeeewww! I don't LIKE this!"

Common Household Mom said...

I am indeed rocking onward, buoyed by the "frog toes boiled in frog juice" comment. This makes my day, and I am glad that you took a break from the Mattress Open to blog it.

Nina said...

We Brits also suffer cricks in the neck.

I'm picturing your dinnertime scene as a Calvin & Hobbes strip. I like split pea soup! Boyfriend has never said it with so much wit, but he agrees with Hank.

Elizabeth said...

I went to bed last night without my dose of Suburban Matron, but this brightens my morning. I love that your girl is Jacob Morley. Fantastic. Can't wait for THAT post.

And I'm so into the word "crick." How about the excruciating sensation when you turn your head the wrong way -- what's that called?

Lisa Lilienthal said...

I feel that one of my significant parenting fails has been the failure to raise children who don't like soup -- any soup. How does that happen?

Gen said...

Frog toes... Nice. My kid wrote me a note last night while I made dinner and all it said was "I will not gag." Wasn't that thoughtful of him?

Amy said...

"I will not gag" is awesome! My daughter said the other night, "Thanks for making dinner, Mom! It's better than starving." I'm so proud that I've taught her to give backhanded compliments--it's a life skill, really.

Hootie, I'd never thought of the Goofy as Marley-Marley the dog--Owen Wilson trifecta. But now it makes so much sense!

Becky said...

Goofy as Marley-Marley the dog-Owen Wilson, in that Dupree movie with Matt Dillon, who was in Loverboy with Kevin Bacon. It is all clear to me now!

"I will not gag" is priceless. That is all I want. No gagging.

Like Justine, I have better luck with lentil soup. Even Hank will eat that. But it's thicker. Any soupy soup, fuggeddabout it.

I will devise some rules for our Mattress Invitational!

Oh, Jane, you rocking mother of 8! I can't believe you are already worrying about exercise, honey. But if you do have 25 minutes, the 30 Day Shred is a good place to start. You just need the DVD and some little hand weights. (I used big cans the first couple times.) It is short and it gets the job done. My neighbor and I did the Shred for a long time, and now we've moved on to another Jillian Michael's video, "Ripped in 30." Ripped, Shredded, it's all good.

Amy said...

Ooh! Ooh! I know! Elizabeth, that thing when you turn your head, and then your eyes cross in pain while you suck air through your teeth is called a "stinger."

As to whether that is its actual scientific, medical name, well, it sure oughtta be.

hams john said...

Congrats to your sweet girl! She is gonna rock that part! What workout are you doing these days? I need to find one that's only about 25 minutes long..and will get this post pregnancy bod into shape! Excercising is definitely not my favorite thing to do but I've especially been inspired lately by you and your sisters commitment to exercise.. Amy and I used to bond over our hatred of exercise and lack of it so now that she's all in shape I'm feeling umm...not in shape. Always enjoy reading your blog. It's a highlight of my fun, child filled day! :) Tempurpedic