Proper Send-Off

Hank and I were playing Legos in the book room yesterday morning. As usual, it was some kind of pitched battle with heavy Lego fighting all over the place. A blue lego man got hit with a cannonball fired from one of my pirate boats, and he fell off the castle. Hank determined that he was dead and needed a grave, so I made a little box out of blocks and sealed the Lego man into it with a bigger block.

I said, "Okay, he is buried." Hank said, "Good job, now we need to visit his grave." So all the Lego people ceased their fighting, and we lined them up around the tomb. Hank said, "Now we need to say a prayer. Dear God, please bless this Lego guy who is dead."

"Amen," I added. We were silent.

I said, "Okay, is that it?"

Hank said, "No! Now we need to celebrate his life."

Redneck Water Park

Normal Neighbor offered us their old swingset play structure thingie, and on Monday Matt, my dad, and a couple of stalwart dudes carted it over here and muscled it into the backyard. (They asked me to help with the carrying too, so I did, but I didn't really lift as hard as I truly could. Shhh!) It's not all put back together, but I was gone for an hour the other night, and while I was away Matt and the kids conceived of and built the whole slide/pool combo you see here.

It is a lovely addition to our backyard. Let me point out some of its appealing features: It's hard to tell from ths photo, but the end of the slide is propped up on an ice chest (filled with water) and a stack of boards from an old Ikea shelf. Usually the pool is filled with bobbing squirt guns and plastic containers, like there was a flood at the Dollar Store. The other, slightly downhill side of the pool is reinforced with two big plastic chairs and a few bags of playground sand. It is the most redneck thing possible.

Yesterday there were five kids playing on that thing. Mine was the kid wearing only his whitey tighties ('cause bathing suits seem awful fancy). So far there have been no injuries, and judging by the shrieking, good times are being had. I don't know what we'll do, though, when Mitch shows up to mow tomorrow. (Now Mitch, that's a whole other story.)

If you're in the neighborhood and want to slide, no need to stand on ceremony. Just come on 'round the back.

American Girl is Bending My Mind

I think I said here once before that I wasn't going to get Laura an American Girl doll for Christmas this year, because she already has two (she got them for Xmas whens she was 4 and 6), and they don't get played with every day, and they're expensive, and well. . .yeah. So obviously, as soon as American Girl emailed me to say that they were having free shipping, I ordered a doll. I'm like the Manchurian Candidate of Christmas shopping--I just respond to my programming. Ho ho ho, speaking of programming, I just remembered the time that Frenemy Neighbor told me that the American Girl company is "run by feminists." Only she meant that as a warning. Good times in the 'hood.

Laura and her friend and I watched the Kit Kittredge movie, and we admired Kit's determination and spunkiness, so I was surprised when L said she wanted not Kit, but Kit's friend Ruthie. If you have any knowledge of the Kit story, you know that Ruthie is the daughter of the bank president, the one who is foreclosing on the houses of some of Kit and Ruthie's friends. (This is set during the Great Depression--the one in the 1930's, not this one right now.) I had to laugh, because it is so Laura to choose the doll who is living in more comfortable financial circumstances. When given the choice between the Colonial American dolls Felicity and Elizabeth, she chose the Tory, Elizabeth. Just in case the whole Revolution thing didn't work out, you know. A girl's gotta think of where her next pony is coming from.

So I'm not totally sure whether I'm going to keep the doll or not. I want to direct you to a beautiful post that Carrie wrote about taking her daughter to the AG store, because I think it identifies my dilemma--I see that it's extravagant (Laura has two dolls, for the love), but they are so beguiling, and I want something nice for her; I want to give her something so appealing. And she hasn't asked for anything else--she is NOT a mile-long Santa list kid. She asked for a Thomas the Train thing for her brother (she feels she must write on his behalf), and the doll, and a certain webkin. So here comes Ruthie.

But here's the mind-bending part. I was poking around the American Girl website, checking out a sale on doll accoutrements. Each historical doll has period toys she can play with, like a ragdoll or old timey roller skates. Sold separately, of course. Well, the 1970's doll Julie can play with a little Barbie styling head. Remember those things? It's like a bust of Barbie, and you fix her hair and put makeup on her face? Of course, that was big in the 70's, so Julie has one. And both Barbie and American Girl are now owned by Mattel, so it's a nice bit of cross-promotion for them. Balls, pure balls.

For a dizzying moment I experienced a mise en abyme of toys. If Julie has a Barbie, what's to stop AG from making a 1980's girl, say, Jessica, who could have a little American Girl doll for her historically-accurate toy? And that doll could have a tiny American Girl, and so on, and you see the situation. Each tiny doll more historically accurate than the last. And more adorable, at a microscopic level. Also compounding the problem, as The Onion has warned, if the trend of being nostalgic for the relatively recent past continues--having 1970's period dolls, we may be facing a terrifying "retro gap," leaving us stuck "expressing nostalgia for events which have yet to occur." (Go now and read that Onion article. You're welcome.)

Have a good Saturday night, y'all.

What the Elf?

Laura just showed me a picture she drew of a little fellow in a red and green suit, with curly-toed shoes, and said, "This is the elf I'm hoping to get. His name will be Muckle." I was like, "That's cute, babe, but you're standing in front of the TV and I can't see Anderson." She persisted, "Do you want to know how I get the elf?" And I was like, "Okay, how?" She explained that if you leave crackers and water out some night in December, in the morning, an elf will have arrived and taken up residence. She said that he will be a little doll sleeping in a bed, but that every night he will come to life and get up to all sorts of mischief and tomfoolery.

As she spoke I had a dim memory of another mom I know complaining last year that her children had gotten an elf. And the elf was her. It dawned on me that this is some sort of awful plot on the part of the Elf cabal to add items to Mom's Big To-Do List. Lunches packed? Clothes laid out? Homework in school bag? Elf mischief accomplished? Good grief, Charlie Brown. My whimsy reserves are already taxed. The fairy houses are bad enough, and luckily Laura only makes one of those every few months.

What is a fairy house, you ask? Well, those are actually kind of fun, because they don't cost anything, and they are an actual activity. The child builds a little shelter out of bark, leaves, or twigs, and "furnishes" it for a fairy using rocks or flowers are whatever. Then, overnight, the fairy leaves a little treat for the house-builder. This means Mama has to come up with a treat while the child is at school. Last time, I broke into my gift closet and made her a little string bracelet with her name in beads on it. I only went to such lengths because I was out of random baubles that she'd never seen. She was thrilled. She is 7, nearly 8, and I can't tell if she really believes in this stuff or not. When she and her friend both worked on a fairy house recently, I commented to them that they better leave a note so the fairy would know there were two girls involved. They did. L's friend left a note that included her name and address. Her mom asked me, "Do you think I can just leave something in our mailbox?"

So, this elf thing. I did a quick search online, and it looks like there is one particular company that is behind the whole Mom is Your Secret Elf business. Elf Magic claims to be a "timeless Christmas tradition that has created special memories for countless children and families in homes around the world."

They are cute--I am not a total Grinch. And I'm sure your $26.95 (not including shipping) buys a lot of joy. But what gets me is that the website takes this twee tone, never actually explaining what the real deal is--that you will buy this toy for your kids, and you will acquire a temporary part-time job as an Elf. The website enthuses, "From discovering an Elf’s magical arrival in the home, to searching for their hidden Elf after a night full of mischievous adventures – children know the magic in Elf Magic is real!"

It would make me happier if they would admit for a moment that the "magic in Elf Magic" is Mom. We're all adults, here, right? My kid is not shopping on this site. And another thing, I don't know if I have a "night full of mischievous adventures" in me, you know? There are other people in line for that sort of thing, so take a number, Elf. But their determination to be all magical and stuff continues even in the clearance bin for last year's elves, which cracks me up:

While Available... Santa has discounted the Travel Ticket to $24.95 for his elves that did not get to visit a friend in 2007!!! Because of the lower travel fare the 2007 Elves cannot be returned to Elf Magic. They have a one way ticket only!!!

Oh for Pete's sake!

Have you heard of this? Are you doing it? I wonder, if we were lucky enough to get a visitation from one of the magical creatures, what sorts of adventures can they get up to at night? I think my supply of magical mischief might be short. Any ideas? Maybe, reorganizing the silverware drawer? Cleaning the baseboards? I got nothin'.

Toy Worth Buying: Magnatiles

Good toys are so few and far between. I see all these commercials for bulky, unattractive, and complicated plastic toys, like Dora's Interactive Singing Volcano (okay I made that up), or Jack Sparrow's Spinning Dagger (that one's real), and something inside me says, "Oh heck no." Happily, my kids don't have too many of those kinds of things. Hank has tons of cars, and Laura has a metric buttload of Barbies and dolls, and they both have lots of dress-up stuff. We stick to what works, but I'm always on the lookout for toys that will really occupy them, especially Hank. A busy two year-old makes a happy mama. And Rocks in My Dryer has a great Works for Me Wednesday today: Toys Worth Buying. I am going to be looking over that list.

My recommendation is Magnatiles. I've already raved about these to my friends:

These are kind of spendy--the 32-piece set above is around $50. I don't know why they cost so much, but they are worth it. We have ours in a tray on the coffee table in the sunroom, and everyone who comes in wants to play with them. They are magnetic around the edges, and snap together in all kinds of ways. A great, open-ended toy. I think the best buy might be the 48-piece set, which is $64.50. Some of the sets come with round pieces and little cars. Santa might be bringing one of those. I first saw these clear magnatiles on a preschool's light table. If you happen to have a light table, they're awesome with that.

Other things on my list are this easel from Ikea. It has a chalkboard on the other side, and it's only $24.99: Also, I would like to get a cool Doctor's Kit for Hank, though I can't quite find the one I want. And more giant pads of paper are always needed around here. Laura is tricky. At seven, she really doesn't ask for things unless she sees them. Like, if we went to the American Girl store, she would probably say, "I want a Julie doll!" or something. But she has two AG dolls, and they don't get played with every day. She likes to read, play on her bike and scooter, run around outside, do Webkinz, write and draw, play karaoke, and put on "shows." She is pretty well-supplied for all those things. I did get her this Lands End fluffy robe with her monogram on it. She loves that stuff. Hurry, it's $19.99:

I would like to give her just one thing that delights her. But I am kind of stumped. Anybody have a girl this age? And we're definitely keeping it simple around here. That's why it's so important to get worthwhile things, I think. And Santa, if you're reading, I would like hardwood floors upstairs, a bigger deck out back, Jonathan Adler needlepoint pillows, and a laptop battery that lasts for hours and hours and hours. And peace on earth.