Thursday, November 6, 2008

Daring Daylight Caper(s)

I wasn't home on our garbage pickup day, Tuesday. I was still in North Carolina, and Matt forgot to put the garbage and the recycling out by the street. I had reminded him one time, but I hadn't nagged repeatedly. There was my mistake. We usually don't fill our giant garbage can in a week--it's the big kind with wheels--but we had company over the weekend, and now the can is full to the top. And the kitchen garbage is full. I'm not sure what else to do, so I'm planning a caper. Mindy, next door, has her garbage picked up on Friday. So I'm hoping I can put some trash in her can, if she has room. Is that wrong? I can't see why there would be a problem, if she has the space. She usually wheels her garbage out to the street at night, so I could slip out there under cover of darkness. Then again, she's gone a lot during the day, so maybe tomorrow morning would be best.

If her can is full, then I have no idea what to do, except load the car with trash and cruise around checking the cans of other Friday people, like Frenemy Neighbor. She watches out her front window like a hawk, though. Once she called me to ask why there was a police car in our cul-de-sac, when I had no idea it was out there. Turned out that the neighbor's grandmother had died in their basement. But that's another story. Also, just this morning, Frenemy Neighbor texted me to alert us to the Jehovah's Witnesses in the neighborhood. Maybe this means relations are thawing between us now that the election has come and gone? We've been avoiding each other, if "avoiding each other" means I've been avoiding her and she's been sending me crazy, toxic emails on a daily basis. Like, Obama is not a US citizen, and he took the American flag off his campaign plane, or he wants to turn schoolchildren gay, and illegal immigrants are the reason for the economic crisis, etc. I was kind of disappointed, actually, that she didn't send out a post-election screed, because I figured it would be a doozy. Her yard sign is gone too. Maybe they're going to move to Canada. Or no, it wouldn't be Canada. Maybe Singapore?

So, my garbage situation. After I pull this off, I may have to lay low for a while, but I'll get word to you somehow. And while I'm on the subject of cul-de-sac shenanigans, I want to give a shout out to Conspiracy Guy's little girls, who stole my Halloween wreath. Late last week, I was coming home and I noticed that the wind had blown my wreath off the door. It was down on the doormat. I had my hands full right then and didn't pick it up. That afternoon, I remembered, and opened the door to rehang it. The wreath was nowhere to be seen. I just had a hunch that the girls had taken it. Later, when I was over by their house, I asked the four year-old if she had seen my pumpkin wreath. She said, "No, I didn't see it, but we want it in our house." I said, "Did you happen to pick up my wreath?" She said it was inside, but that she wanted to keep it. I told her that I needed it and to please go get it. I wonder what her parents thought when she brought that home?


Sara said...

Hysterical! Please report back on that one.

Hootie said...

In the spirit of Obama's victory, I fully support the redistribution of filth. Just don't let it trickle down onto your shoes.

kate said...

If you're uncomfortable with using the neighbor's can, you could resort to a nearby gas station dumpster! We had to do that a couple of times before getting trash service after moving. It felt sneaky, but you gotta do what you gotta do!