Monday, November 11, 2013

So Frenemy Neighbor Up and Moved

Why is this woman smiling?
After various false starts over the years--putting her house on the market, taking it off again when nobody offered her astronomical sums, lots of dubious DIY projects aimed at increasing resale--Frenemy Neighbor sold her house and they are gone.

By the time this was underway, we had not spoken in a long, long time. Maybe like two years had passed since our last meaningful contact, except when I ran into her in the grocery store once or we waved half-heartedly from our minivans. Our girls haven't sought each other out in a long time, so there was no reason for us to do so. And I was long tired of her crap, even for the story-value it might provide. I think she felt that I broke up with her because she is a Republican. But it was because she is a Crazy Person.

The other night I was reading this post about the bar of soap birthday party, and I hadn't thought of it in so long, I was like, "Oh my God, this woman was real! I didn't make her up!" Go read it, refresh your memory.

So since the last time they'd tried to sell, the market has come back a bit around here, and in particular, houses in our neighborhood seem to sell fast, because the new high school over here has become very sought-after. I think Frenemy finally got her price.

Don't look at me like you're not all over Zillow all the time.

Sidebar: One part of the house listing Frenemy wrote said, "Prettiest roof in the neighborhood!" Um what okay.

Several weeks ago it became evident that they were packing up and really leaving this time, and I was very curious. Very very curious. Just not curious enough to contact Frenemy in any way to ask. I mean, the one question on everyone's mind was, are they moving up, down, or sideways? Right? But I did ask K(C)athy, who asked Miss Terry the possum lady, and she reported that they'd sold to a family with four little girls. She said they were moving farther up into the county. They always had a couple of rental properties, and it seemed that they might be going to one of those for a while.

Normal Neighbor goes, "They lived here for years and not one of us even said goodbye." And I was like, yeah. And we shrugged. It's not that we're unfriendly or grudging people; it's a measure of how alienating it could feel to know Frenemy. There were people across the street who lived here for eighteen months, and when they left, we had a farewell party.

On Halloween night, I was sitting with one of the K(C)athies, and she mentioned something FN had put on facebook. And I was seized with regret at having unfriended her years ago, because if I hadn't, I could keep tabs and see what she is up to. So K(C)athy pulled up her facebook and I began eagerly to scroll, then I saw something she said about that lady who fainted at our Kenyan president's press conference the other day and how that was all staged, and I was like, oh yeah, that's why I did that.

And I wanted to unfriend her so hard, just like it was the first time.

God, she used to drive me so crazy. Long time readers, any favorite Frenemy moments you recall?

So I met the new family and they're adorable. The neighborhood just got a little less crazy. Except not because there's all kinds of other crap, but November is a long month. Be faithful, I will attend.



Christian said...

In my house, we feel as if we know Frenemy Neighbor too, to the extent that when we visited your house in Georgia, I was deeply disappointed that there was no easy way of meeting FN easily.

KrisT said...

Truly, the best part of the soap story is that your daughter TRADED UP to get it. It truly is one of my faves on your blog.

Christian said...

"Multilevel marketing scheme." I actually think of this very often.

Elle said...

I loved the story of how Betty got FN down on the mat in a scissors-lock & gave her a wedgie. As I like to remember it, FN was crying & calling out, and Betty was like, "If you don't stop, you're going to mess up my hair & you haven't ever known trouble."

Ok, I know, I know. But if FN hadn't started it, it would not have been. People like FN!

Becky said...

I'm dying! Yes, that's what it was like. I think that was the time FN told Betty that she thought swimming was too competitive for kids.

delaine said...

Maybe they've gone on to greener pastures and all that jazz. But, she probably can't leave her wackiness and vile political thought behind. She was definitely an interesting and funny read!

Keely said...

I went and re-read the soap tale, because I couldn't remember it specifically enough. Wow. Glad your neighbourhood lost a little crazy. It must be because it's friggin' cold here 8 months out of the year, but we don't have the same relationships with our neighbours. I barely know their names. I couldn't write the same type of blog post!

Also, "busier-than-thou". That is classic.

Beth said...

I definitely put the soap party (do I recall there were fishing lures involved, too?) as one of the top 10 best all time SubMat posts.

Lordy, I will miss her crazy. I have faith that there's plenty more where that came from, though.

And hey, that's my house! :-)

Justine said...

Wasn't there a time she brought a plate of chicken to your back door? I liked that moment in Frenemy history because it spoke to her character complexity. But ultimately, yes, CRAYzy. I will miss her too!

Becky said...

Dang Justine, you're good! She did come to my garage door with chicken! She always was a complex character--I think that's why I took an interest in her for so long.

Becky said...

Popping in to say: I ran into the new occupant of Frenemy's house and she said her basement flooded last night because the hot water heater hadn't been installed according to code. I GUARANTEE you that the Frenemy Family did that work themselves. LOLOL, they just keep on giving.

Elle said...

Lord, that is awful, but why on earth didn't their home inspector catch that? Was he too excited about getting to visit FDR's Little White House?

Allison said...

I will miss her. She was always so entertaining.

Becky said...

She said the home inspection didn't catch it. :-0

Elizabeth said...

Oh, my god. You bring me such joy.