Monday, April 6, 2009

A Two-Pairs-of-Shoes Evening

Late last week I sent out a distress call, seeking guidance with an important footwear choice, and you guys talked me through. I won't keep you in suspense any longer: I went out wearing choice number one, and carried choice three in a giant purse. That purse was like the mother ship. In addition to the more comfortable shoes, it held a satellite party clutch that got sent out on the actual party missions. I thought the best way to tell about the burlesque party would be to share the tweets I would have composed if I actually used Twitter. (I got that idea from Messy Mom.) It was a great time--I swear, people have more fun at costume parties.

Heading to the Burlesque Party

If you're going to wear a cheap feather boa: buy 2 and entwine them. One isn't feathery enough. You'll want more fluff, and 2 is just right.

I get to wear my grandma's old, jet bead and clip-on earring set. Never had occasion to before. Plus my real pearls, plus some pretend ones.

Do nice department stores sell fishnets? 'Cause Party City's look like macrame projects. Good enough tho. They have red, black, white, pink.

As I'm leaving, Dad gives this advice: If your car breaks down, DON'T get out and stand by the road. Call me and I'll come get you.

Too late to rent a tux, Matt bought one. With all the trimmings. I ask how much it cost, he says, "Money dollars and schmoney schments."

Matt's New Suit

And he looks completely great. I love those pants with the side stripes. He went for a "small full break," for you Sartorialist readers.

Jane and Kelly and Me

Everyone looks fabulous. Matt keeps bringing me drinks, and I just met the Icelandic Kid Rock. He's more polite than our Kid Rock I think.

The Icelandic Kid Rock

Our friend says she's wearing her "second-favorite corset." 'Cause her favorite is topless. No worries y'all, I told her how awesome she is.

Mark and Jane

A tall Finnish girl asks me to tighten her corset. I realize I know exactly how from watching Gone With the Wind.

Party Girls

Only two bathrooms for this party. I think two girls are in one doing coke. Or maybe just drinking a coke? Dunno but it's taking forever.

Ooh, floor show is cute. Some of those girls are dudes? Pasties are hot. So are ruffled panties. Kelly has pics.

Feet were feeling fine until this moment. Time to change shoes. Good thing I stashed a huge purse under the table. Must now hobble there.

I am on stage with several other ladies, doing a kick line. Not sure how that happened. There is no photographic evidence of this.

Sassmouthing the Photographer
I traded my headband for a mask. And during my big can-can number, I lost my drink. Surely for the best. I love everyone. Time to go home!


Cassie said...

You look adorable! What a fun time. And I love the unTwitter updates. Might borrow that idea myself...)

The Dental Maven said...

Very Coooool!

Keely said...

That is a LOT of fishnets and corsets! How could you NOT have fun??

Amy said...

You look TOTALLY cute. And Matt--so dapper! Now he'll have to wear the tux when you go out to the movies and stuff.

I must say though, for the co-workers there, it would be weird to see each other in corsets and stuff. Or was it not?

Ginny Marie said...

That looks so fun! Now, why don't I get invited to parties like that? Those are great pictures, too!

steenky bee said...

Um....I originally wanted to tell you what a girl crush Stiletto Mom has on you, but honestly, forget all about her because I now have established a firm girl-crush on you myself. How young are you? Twelve? You look awesome! I thought for sure that had to be a daughter or something at first. Oh my hell! You looked smokin'. If you go to BlogHer will you please wear that. No explanation, just wear it. I promise you'll get tons of traffic for at least a few days.

Casey said...

That looks like a blast and you guys are adorable. Keep the drinks flowing. How was the hangover with kids to care for? That's always what stops me at two drinks.

A Day That is Dessert said...

You are so cute! Looks like a fun evening was had by all.

Bex said...

i want to party with you! you look v. coquettish. i thought of a hundred comments while reading your post - but now i seem to be at a loss for words (by my standards - this might seem like a lot of words to other people).

Anonymous said...

You look FAB and the two-shoes was genius! How come the parties I get invited to never involve pasties? I surely must be hangin' with the wrong crowd. Although I am, sigh, not exactly corset material... particularly not of the topless variety!

The Stiletto Mom said...

Ok you are just adorable. What a great idea for a party too!

Anonymous said...

You look fabulous and it looked like a great party. Good idea to take two pairs of shoes - hope your feet were ok the next day!

Michele Renee said...

You looked great! I love how you already had the perfect dress. That foreign Kid Rock man is actually handsome in a great bone structure way. Love the expression of the lady right behind him.

The Messy Mom said...

Oh yeah! I have been anticipating these pics all weekend. You look awesome and so does Matt! Your dad is hilarious.

Michele said...

You guys look fantastic!!!!

I bet you could get better fishnets at the local porn shop. I don't know for a fact, I'm just sayin'

Looks like you had fun.

Christine said...

I am so cracking up over "mother ship purse." Brilliant piece of writing, missy!

Sara said...

Damn, you looked good!
And good eye on the back up shoes.

Icelandic Kid Rock, topless corset, and pasties. Enough said.

Becky said...

Thanks, y'all! It was really fun. I spent most of my twenties thinking costume parties were like, lame or something. But they are actually totally awesome. And the porn store for fishnets! Brilliant! I never thought of that. I wouldn't be thrilled to go in there, but maybe I could send Matt. I'm sure that wouldn't be weird.

SJN said...

You all looked fabulous, I wanted to go! Yeah... the open toed shoes are always iffy, sometimes the drinking helps the pain, but eventually you feel your feet. I heard you all had tons o' fun!