Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Playing Hooky

On Monday afternoon I got a wild hare to take the kids up to North Carolina for a couple of days. Mom and Dad were going to be up at their mountain house for a bit longer before heading back down to Florida, and I knew it would be gorgeous, cool weather up there. What better way to not turn on the air-conditioner in my own house, right? Also, with standardized testing over in the second grade, I figured that missing one-and-a-half days of school would not condemn Laura to subaltern status in the global economy of the future. Of course, while I was gone I got like five increasingly shrill emails about classroom stuff from my co-room mom. "End of the year party!" "Lunch or snack??" "Watermelon kabobs?!?" "Hula hoop contest or limbo??!!!!????" "Dear lord, flower LEIS for the boys or BEACH BALLS????!!!!!!111"

Yeah. So I'm back on duty now. As I was driving down into our cul-de-sac, I saw Conspiracy Guy standing at the end of his driveway. He gave us a little wave, and kind of stepped toward us like he wanted to speak, so I stopped and rolled down the window. "Hey, how's it going?" I asked. He pantomimed strangling himself with both hands, sticking out his tongue and making his eyes big. I said, "Ha ha. Busy, huh?" He then pantomimed shooting himself in the head. One hand, pointer finger extended, was the gun, and the other hand--and I have never seen this done--was what I took to be bits of his brain and skull flying away from the exit wound on the other side of his head. I took my foot off the brake and begin to roll. To complete the charade, he rocked back on one leg and stumbled sideways. Laura said, "Mom, what is he doing?" I said, "I don't know." Then I gave him a nod and cruised on up into my driveway.

Tomorrow, remind me to tell you about a conversation I had with Conspiracy Guy about the Mystery People. Believe me, if that guy thinks you're weird, you are weird in a serious, scientifically-provable way, my friend.

14 comments:

Casey said...

I can't wait until my kids are old enough to just pick up and go for the weekend.

I think conspiracy guy would be a great companion in a game of charades. I'd rather not meet him, he might find out my dirty little secrets.

Keely said...

Hehheh. Did your co-room mom end up having a stroke or two? Or eleventy?

Amy said...

Wow--Conspiracy guy. Is that like a cry for help or something? Or just no social awareness of taking a joke too far?

Hope y'all had fun up there! You didn't hot tub without me, did ya?

The Dental Maven said...

Is Conspiracy Guy some kind of mime? I'da hit the gas peddle and got the heck outa there! Dude's got issues, man.

Ginny Marie said...

Don't you just love it when you have to tell your kids "I don't know" when you just don't want them to know what's going on? It drives me crazy, but...there are just some things she doesn't need to know!

Kate said...

OMG! That is both hilarious and weird at the same time. I like the picture of you and Laura politely driving away while he's still pantomiming. So odd.

Cassie said...

Oh, man. I can't wait to hear CG's take on the MP. *making some popcorn*

Glad you had fun in NC!

Becky said...

For real, it's definitely the pot calling the kettle kooky! I don't know what that guy's deal is--he is just always a little doofus-y.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Good grief. That guy is whacked. Guess he doesn't get to play charades enough.

Coffee with Cathy said...

I can't wait to hear Conspiracy Guy's theory on the swine flu outbreak. It's got to be a government plot somehow, right?

Michele Renee said...

You are sooo patient--I would prob have struck up a fake animated conversation with my child or cell phone to just keep driving by. I cannot believe the visual you described of the other side of the head action. Yuck!!

Better Than Machines said...

What a weird dude. I laughed out loud at the description of you rolling away while he's still gesturing.

A Day That is Dessert said...

Hope you had fun!! Happy weekend, Becky!

Drama Queen Jenner said...

I saw a couple at a Halloween party once. They were JFK and Jackie O. Post Dealy Plaza shooting. Not too dissimilar from your CG in terms of weirdness.