Monday, August 22, 2011

Oh, Well Let's Go with That Then

The other night I was milling around in the cafeteria at Laura's open house. I tacked toward the table for volunteer sign-ups and stood, studying the twenty or so possible lists I could add myself to.

My reverie was broken when I heard my name growled. I knew exactly who it was because the only person who manages to startle me ROUTINELY in what should be normal social situations with no moments of alarm mingled with annoyance, is my neighbor the Bunco Girl. I am calling her that because she roped me into playing Bunco one time. But she is also the Tennis Girl and the PTA Girl, God help us. And she's all over the swim team. She really is everywhere.

Do you remember that post? In it, Bunco Girl makes her debut. I just went back and read it. Goodness, what got into me? So bitchy!

Anyway, the woman is a good soul but she's gruff as a bear. She was calling my name, raising her eyebrows, and craning her neck forward to get my attention, looking slightly exasperated that I hadn't noticed her even though I'd just walked up. And it is ALWAYS like this, every time I run into her. So I always start our encounter feeling like I should apologize for having not seen her, as though I were deliberately not seeing her. I mean GAH.

I'll hit the fast forward button and tell you that I signed up to help with the tennis tournament she is organizing to benefit the school. And this morning I went to a meeting about it with about twelve other ladies. We had an agenda and spent a lot of time talking about getting sponsors for the event, getting a catered lunch donated, how the play would be organized, etc. The tournament is going to be held in Fancy Land, our neighboring subdivision, and their tennis director will run it. So a class event. As you will soon ask, what was I doing there?

We got to the agenda item for winners' prizes, and I spoke up, "What were we thinking for prizes? How about big Tervis tumblers? Everybody loves those things." And the girl to my left said, "No, I've got a contact at Waterford. We'll do crystal. I'm going to see if I can get tennis balls." Everyone nodded.

Oh. So not insulated plastic cups but instead lead crystal. Sure, that sounds neat too. I guess.

And a "contact at Waterford"? Like, in Ireland? Okay, I'll hush now. I think those crystal tennis balls sound downright nifty. And then there was some discussion of whether people prefer a bowl (yes) and whether it should be engraved on the bowl or on a pedestal. And then I had a flashback to the crystal bowl that Obama got on his inauguration day. I have issues with the engraved pedestal and we should leave it there.

I mean, people DO really like those Tervis tumblers.

So I managed to sign up for helping with set up and clean up. NOT for selling raffle tickets or acquiring raffle items or something else I don't want to do.

I will keep you posted on this matter.

26 comments:

Keely said...

I would never survive there. I'm so glad you make these brave forays into the social wilds and report back.

Waterford crystal, really?

Aimee said...

OMG. I have to know what suburb you live in now. I have two running lists - Places I Know It's Not, and Places It Could Potentially Be.

Don't worry, I'm not actually asking, cuz it's the Internets and all, and you don't really know me. I'm just insanely curious. And/or nosy.

You are the absolute BEST at describing these situations.

Amy said...

What is the winner gonna do with a crystal tennis ball? I'd rather a tumbler. ;) But I'm classy like that. You should've been all, Yeah those tennis balls were really popular like 3 years ago, but if you girls are happy with that as prizes, who am I to object?

Yes, please keep us posted. I have a feeling this is going to be very interesting.

A Day That is Dessert said...

Ah yes. I've been in similar situations, and I always find myself feeling like I'm in the twilight zone.

Elizabeth said...

That reminds me of my years in a sorority at UNC where the girls argued in weekly chapter meetings about dried versus fresh flowers as centerpieces in our dining room and whether we should have a keg party with the SAEs or the DKEs next Saturday night. It was nauseating then and more so, now.

I'm glad you've been demoted to clean-up -- where the real people dwell. :)

Jenni said...

This sounds like a fun committee. I hope you don't gouge your eyes out.

Michele said...

This group would see me coming and high tail it the other way. I'm in awe of your ability not to laugh in their faces.

Michele R said...

As soon as I read about the Bunco situation of last year I got all outraged for you again.
Sounds like you are on the perfect part of this committee--just needing to know when to show up for set up and clean up.

My Kids' Mom said...

I agree with Aimee- it makes me wonder where you live. B/C my Atlanta is much more boring! (Although I seem to be at the clean up end of it too)

Kate said...

how about forgo the prize and allocate that money to go back to the school. seriously, crystal??

Elle said...

Oh, honey-bunny, I can't imagine. Five years ago, I did the end-of-season soccer picnic. The guy zeroed in on me at registration, "Will you do it? I need someone!" I demurred, he persisted, in a loop. Finally I blurted out, "Ok, but I make all the decisions. And you should know I don't care if people," and here I mocked, with air quotes, "like me."

He almost fainted, he was so happy. "Yes!" But the funny thing is that wasn't my sales pitch, lol xo.

Monica said...

Those folks sound a lot like the overgrown sorority girls who run our 'hood's social committee. They had an honest to Gawd MIXER not too long ago. Hello, uh, how old are we???

Tervis's rule. The only way I'd want to win a crystal ball is if it has actual future-predicting capabilities.

Good luck!

laura said...

Once again, "edgyjunecleaver" thanks Jesus for getting her the Hell out of Stepford Knolls. This blog post gave me a flash back on a progressive dinner for the community pool and my "silver" was only "plate" and it wasn't "good enough" for serving pieces. When I was told that I didn't bother to mention I had twelve waterford wine glasses. So they were stuck with "cheap ass" Reidel. Oh. My. I need to lie down now.

Beth said...

I love Amy's idea. Waterford crystal, GAH, as you say. That is SO Cabot Cove circa 1987.

Lisa Lilienthal said...

OK, Miss Becky, here's what I want to know - how do you get away with blogging on these activities? Is there no way that anybody in your 'burb will find your blog? I'm truly intrigued by your ability to keep it separate, because I have the pause button on my own suburban rumblings, afraid that my few true friends locally would -- without meaning to -- share a less-than-flattering post of my little part of OC with people to whom it would matter. Which wouldn't really matter to me except that my kids go to school with their kids .. you know? Spill!

AM said...

I'd like to echo Lisa's comment. Does Normal Neighbor know she's in your blog? How do you write the blog without alerting your subject matter?

Kelly said...

Coming from someone who has three of those tennis balls I would much rather have a Tervis Tumbler. What's wrong with those ladies?

Becky said...

Yeah, I mean, the league play around here gives out crystal and china to winners, but I was just surprised we were doing the same for our school tourny! The goal, though, is to get the prizes donated so no money is spent on it.

Of all my neighbors, only Pretty Neighbor knows about and reads this blog. I mentioned it to Normal Neighbor years ago, but she had no interest and I'm sure she's forgotten by now.

Frenemy Neighbor, you may have noticed, I just don't blog about anymore. I feel like her narrative is finished, I've sketched her character on this blog, and we've established that we are never going to be close friends, and to continue to poke fun of her in private is unkind. Unless she does something outrageous. Conspiracy Guy falls into the category of people who might need to hear the truth about themselves.

I'm basically assuming that nobody else is curious enough about me to ever find this blog. And it's not like I'm saying really mean things anyway. In fact, to me, the point of this post was how out of tune I was with this committee. I didn't think they were being ridiculous, not at all. And as for Bunco Girl, yes, she is a bit rough around the edges. But oh well.

AM said...

Well, I've been blinded by my perceptual filters. I'm a full time RVer, and one of the things we often do is exchange personal cards printed with phone numbers, email and blog urls. So, my blog becomes visible to people I don't know that well. I tend to self censor because sometimes they do read, and I don't want the guy with the obnoxious yappy dog recognizing himself when I'm complaining about his dog. When I think back to living in a neighborhood, one could easily be unknown on the web. I did not mean to imply that you were ever unkind. Your blog is a delight and a hoot to read.

Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kate said...

I enjoyed reading Becky's comments about how she manages to blog so truthfully and perceptively. I never hear her being unkind, never. She truly is a suburban Jane Goodall. I agree with AM her blog is a total hoot. My family, heck, even my husband knows I have a blog but NONE read it. I suspect our (we bloggers that is) followers are far flung.

Becky said...

Aw, thanks for the kind words, AM and Kate. I didn't think anyone was saying I was mean, didn't mean to seem defensive.

I DO think there is a tendency, over the course of my blogging life anyway, to start out thinking, "Oh nobody is reading this, I'll just say ANYTHING," and then gradually realizing, hmm, maybe need to dial that back. So you know, when I'm as big as Pioneer Woman, there will be no hurt feelings. Hee!

Lisa Lilienthal said...

Hope I didn't offend, either, Becky, I adore your voice, your stories, your candor!

Becky said...

Not a bit, Lisa! xo

stephka said...

I bet those crystal tennis balls will make a terrific glittering smash when you ladies hit them over the net. A tervis tumbler just wouldn't do that.

Becky said...

Ha! Pretty crystal shrapnel!