Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Whatever, Facebook, It's Fine, Really

The much-discussed Facebook redesign finally arrived on my home page a couple days ago, and I was kind of like, hmm, it looks pretty much like the old one. Except it seems like there is no longer that distinction between "News Feed" and "Live Feed," which I'd never really figured out anyway.

Also, some of the people I'd hidden were now unhidden. Weird. That is a whole other topic, why we would friend someone on Facebook and then hide them from view. You know how it goes. I'm lookin' at you, guy from college who wanted to talk about nothing but Ayn Rand.

I did check in on my privacy settings to make sure they hadn't "defaulted" to a setting where my bank account information is now being shared with distressed Nigerian princes. Also it had dawned on me that there's another word for the category "friends of friends," who Facebook is always trying to get you to be visible to. That word is "strangers." So everything looked kosher in there.

Then I noticed that several of my friends had joined one of those "let's get a million people to join in support of same sex marriage" groups. Now, I think this is all great and fun, even though I'm not really sure it's effective political speech. I mean, the first group I ever joined was "If a Million People Join, My Girlfriend Will Let Me Turn Our House Into a Pirate Ship." But, it is more of a fun social-networking thing, and also I support same sex marriage, so I joined the same sex marriage group. As I did it, I said to Matt, "I'm going to see if I can get Frenemy Neighbor to finally unfriend me." Ever since she friended me last year, it's been like When Worlds Collide on there. And she was one of those people who campaigned in favor of Prop 8 even though she doesn't live in California. Anyway.

So last night I logged onto Facebook, and lo and behold, I HAD lost a friend. But it wasn't Frenemy. Son of a monkey! So who was it? Of course, there's no way to know, because it's not like I can look at the huge list of friends and tell who is missing. But that stings, anonymous former friend! What about all those times we had/may have had? What about those school days we shared ten/twenty/thirty years ago?!? And what will that mutual friend/relation of ours think when he/she sees us estranged this way? I don't think you've thought this through, former friend! Come back and I will start a game of scrabble with you and NOT abandon it after a couple of turns. And I will NOT send you Jonas Brothers flair and I will NOT invite you to take purity pledges with me all the time. I promise! Just please reconsider. If only you would reconsider.

18 comments:

Jane said...

I have a deep aversion to joining groups on Facebook or becoming fans of things. It's like I think I'm too cool for that, I guess. Although I did fall deeply and madly into the whole profile pic changing memes of the last month. So, uh, maybe not so cool after all.

Camp Papa said...

For reasons of my technical ineptness, I can't create an active link with the URL, but if you Google "How to split up the US" and click on the first entry, you'll see an interesting bit of analysis of Facebook.

Amy said...

Son of a monkey indeed? Who could it be?? I love a good mystery. I think you should ask your current friends--maybe there was some talk behind your back and somebody knows what's up.

OR, you know how businesses offer incentives to "get you back" after you stop shopping there? Maybe you could offer some kind of giveaway on FB. Or send out a "Free 30 day trial" kind of thing. Be my friend and I'll send you a free microwave popcorn, or "Refriend me and I'll play that stupid Mafia game with you"--something like that.

What? I'm just trying to be creative.

Becky said...

Amy, you are right. It's time to get out there and show the world what a great FB friend I am!

Here's the link Camp Papa is talking about. It was on Gawker today too. Interesting:

http://petewarden.typepad.com/searchbrowser/2010/02/how-to-split-up-the-us.html

Cassie said...

It wasn't me.

remarkablydomestic said...

Things I loved: Nigerian princes, "strangers," pirate ship, and all the anonymous former friend bits.

That is all.

gretchen said...

Man. Unfriended. That's rough. Or is it Defriended. I hear it's an issue.

Don't worry, I would never un/defriend you. I even gave you a tree for your farm.

Becky said...

Thanks for that tree, Gretchen!

Cassie, I would never suspect you!

Captain Dumbass said...

Sometimes I wish more people would unfriend me. Especially all the people who constantly send me links to videos that might have been funny if I were still 15 or who invite me to join groups I would have thought were lame even if I was 15.

Bonnie said...

Whoa! How do you know if you have lost a friend? Like did you memorize the number of friends you had before and now you've noticed you have one less? Or what? Maybe I've been defriended, but I don't know how many I had before -- how can I find out???

Becky said...

That's right Bonnie, I had noticed the number and remembered it. It's over there on the left. How do YOU measure your worth as a human?

The Dental Maven said...

Wow. You keep track of your number of friends? I don't even know where to look to find that number. I could be losing friends like crazy and not even know it! Oh well.

Coffee with Cathy said...

Becky -- loved your take on the new Facebook. I'm absolutely with you, sister. And I do hope I'm one of your unhidden friends! But, seriously, sometimes Facebook kicks people out for no reason. I promise this has happened. At least, that's what my "friend" said ...

Sara said...

Could've just been a profile removal right? Maybe they've opted out of the world of facebook altogether? Kinda like facebook suicide?! Oh my. I've considered facebook suicide. Is there a hotline I can call??
The map in that link is so interesting. Our area is very linear vs. wheel spoke shaped. What's that mean about us I wonder?

Keely said...

I pay WAY more attention to my blog readers than I do my FB friends. I know I've been de-friended at some point, in a vague kind of way, and it doesn't bother me. However, that one blog reader that has been joining and leaving and joining and leaving for weeks? DRIVING ME CRAZY.

Becky said...

Keely, you're right, I should totally care more about the blog follower thing. Somehow it seems like the fb friends "know" me though, even though people who read my blog know the real me, for sure.

And yes, ladies, I'll think of it as an "innocent" unfriending!

Cathy, I would never hide you because then I would miss cool Alabama stuff and the pics of your grandson!

Casey said...

Hahha, well it might have been me if I let the world know my true identity and friend bloggy peeps on Facebook. Alas, no.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Well I finally got up my nerve and got on the thing and spent hours trying to figure out all those security settings! I think I've hidden everything except that I exist from view.