Friday, December 18, 2009

Dear Conde Nast Publishing

Hi Condé Nast, what's up? I know you guys must be busy with the holidays and the meltdown of the magazine industry and your company in particular. I just wanted to send a quick note to say I got your sweet postcard yesterday, telling me that my subscription to Cookie is being converted to a Glamour subscription, since Cookie is now defunct. The thing is, my subscription to the dearly-departed Domino was also converted into Glamour, and not that long ago. So now two copies will be coming to my house.

I don't like Glamour. It is not for me. I have already trapped a man, I know how to "read his love signs" (it is not complicated), and I do not have 50 Private Sex and Body Questions that I need answers to. I don't think I have even one. The whole thing makes me sad.

Also, why are the women on the cover of Glamour always squatting? Even Vogue lets the cover girl stand up most of the time, even if she is submissively pointing her toes inward. Sure, Michelle Obama got to stand up, but she is rolling her shoulders in like she's giving herself a hug. Is the lower, crouching pose designed to seem more approachable to your younger reader base? We're all just gals here, just squattin'.

Not that Cookie was really all that great.

So until this whole print media/newspaper/magazine seismic-shift-in-the-media-industry thing sorts itself out, I am going to stop buying your fine products. It's the first time in many years that I haven't had a subscription to either Vogue or Vanity Fair. I am going to stick to blogs. (Some of these websites even resemble magazines. Have you seen Lonny?) The blogs, they are so much better, so much fresher, and they are not so much about squatting.

Take care and good luck with all that stuff.

xoxox
Becky

17 comments:

Michele said...

Thank God for Smithsonian. Hopefully, they never convert my subscription to Glamour.

ps. I checked out the book you suggested. I thought I'd read it over the Christmas holiday. Thanks for the suggestion. It looks fascinating.

Michele R said...

Loved it! Loved your 2nd paragraph about how their love signs aren't complicated.
I pretty much stopped all my subscriptions and for a treat or a road trip I check out about 12 magazines from the library. It's my own style of going green.
P.S. Talk about having to hide those magazines from the boys--not cool to have laying around and the cover talks about His Secret Hot Spots.

Hootie said...

Now I'm dying to know about my love signs. Save that issue.

Hootie said...

By the way, I had a subscription to Glamour and they converted it to Field & Stream just on general principles.

Beth said...

Argh! I guess that means I'll be getting a subscription to Glamour soon, too. I thought they said "Cooking" when I heard about it on the news some weeks back. I think it was wishful thinking, cause I kinda liked the Cookie.

Lisa Lilienthal said...

I have found myself gravitating to BH&G when at the newsstands, maybe I'm old?

Veronica said...

Ha! Do the signs indicate the need for FSB's?

Becky said...

ALWAYS, Veronica! I'm pretty sure that article is written by a man.

Mad Woman said...

I knew there was a reason I had so many blogs on my Google reader. Phew!

I hate Glamour/Cosmo etc.

chnault said...

The Mayor said: (I know your form won't work for me down there)

Brilliant observations. The love signs, the squatting, the repetitive cycle of the same articles.

I thought one of my girls snuck in an order for the Glamour magazine we are now receiving. Now I realize it's what they're sending me instead of the Domino I ordered.

A pox on all that nonsense.

Keely said...

I've never read those magazines.

Short story: In university we did a performance piece in which we kept people in a waiting room and then put them through a 2 minute "beauty boot camp" where we shouted magazine slogans at them. I mocked up some fake magazine covers for the waiting room with subtitles like "Quiz: Are you Perfect Enough?" and "Lose 10 lbs the easy way: chop off an arm!"

After the 'performance' I had to explain that the magazines were fake because apparently I'm really good at forgery. One of the guys said, "Oh! No wonder I couldn't find the quiz!"

Amy said...

Ugh--I can't stand "Glamour"! I think it is truly nasty. And good point about the women on the cover--hadn't thought about that before.

And REALLY. How many secrets can there be after all these years? Don't you think all those possibilities have been, well, explored? Do they have like research labs or something? LOL

gretchen said...

Good Lord. I haven't read Glamour since high school. As long as they don't take away my Vanity Fair, Southern Living and...(whispered in hushed, embarrassed tones)tv guide. Hmmm. I guess I'm old.

Kate said...

me too on that. amen.

clear screen said...

gourmet! boo hoo.

The Messy Mom said...

Awesome post, totally agree.

Elle said...

After I read this, I was kind of looking forward to a "free" and random replacement of Cookie with Glamour -- just for a little cultural anthro -- but they are sending me the NY'er, which I already subscribe to, so ??? Maybe I can get them to send it (the NY'er, not the Glamour) to a school, like when NYT home deliv is suspended.