Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Numerous Issues

1) Well, I was beginning to wonder if that Praisallujah was premature. After Hank did us the favor of doing a poop in the potty, he did not repeat that performance for TWO WEEKS. He basically began stalling and withholding, then sneaking a poop when I had to put a diaper on him. This was in spite of the sticker chart, candy bribes, and lots of serious exhortation on the benefits of potty-use and the distastefulness of big boys pooping in diapers. I mean, you know how people say, "Oh ho! There aren't many kindergartners in diapers!" I thought, "Well world, meet Hank." It was clear that he had a serious reluctance to do it. And I had started to back off. Then yesterday, we knew he had to go, and Matt told him in no uncertain terms to go use the potty. And he did. It seems that he only listens to his daddy about this. So I hope we are turning a corner, but I am by no means confident.

2) We finally met some new neighbors that have moved in up the street. Gene and Jean, an older couple. They both have white hair, but they're somewhere south of sixty. Matt saw them outside and walked over to introduce himself, and the kids/dog trailed after him, so I went outside and followed to complete the set. They seem friendly, and I am sure they will be good neighbors. The only notable moment in our initial encounter was the revelation that they don't believe global warming is real. I was blabbing about the weather and about my personal heating and cooling challenges, and Jean said, "Well you know what's really happening with this global warming is that actually the world is getting colder." I said, "It is???" And she said, "Yep, we had a cold winter here." I said, "Yes, it was chilly. In winter."

Again, this doesn't make them bad neighbors, by any means. But I feel as though they placed the Neighbor Sorting Hat on their heads, and the Sorting Hat said, "Hmmm, harmless BUT DAFT!" Matt, always the nicer one, later said, "Well, you know, they're old." I'm like, is the fact of global warming a generational thing? Like being against gay marriage, or typing emails in all caps?

3) The other day I bought this bathing suit from Lands End. It is actually three pieces--a tankini and a skirt. I was looking for something with a matching cover-up, in case I wanted to keep the package wrapped.

It is cute, but when the skirt comes off, the bottoms are kind of too modest to be flattering. It's the low leg opening thing all over again. I want to be able to wear the little skirt when I'm chasing Hank around the pool, but I don't want to look like Grandma Moses when I take it off. So I need some bottoms that are a little more revealing. I went to Old Navy and bought some in a solid color that I thought would match, but when I tried them on at home, they were too revealing. Like, misdemeanor revealing. So I need some bikini bottoms that are not too modest and not too immodest. Yes, my ass is like Goldilocks.

4) Yesterday Laura got off the school bus, and I could tell she was troubled. She was wearing her monogram necklace with a letter 'L' on it. She said that the class had been practicing their lines for a play, while the teacher was out of the room. And every time she started to say a line, a little boy named Michael would yell, "L is for LOSER!" She said, "By the end my face was as red as an apple."

I opened my mouth to share the age-old wisdom that he was just trying to get her attention and didn't know how to do it, just ignore him, boys will be boys, and then I thought, what are we telling our daughters when we say that? Like, "Oh, so he's harassing me because he likes me. So I feel less harassed now?" Where does that thinking lead? I think it says: Males act, and then it's up to the female to react and manage his actions. That's junk, and I'm never going to say that again. So I told her to tell him, "Michael, you're acting like a doofus, and nobody thinks you're funny. If you don't shut your mouth, I'll tell the teacher." She considered this and then said, "Mom, don't you think that's a little rude?" Sigh.

Update: today she got off the bus and told me that he'd kept up his teasing all day, and that she'd finally worked up her nerve to tell her teacher. She said, "I used your word, I said 'Michael is harassing me.'" And her teacher said they'd talk to him tomorrow. She said her teacher asked her, "Did this start today?" And Laura said, "No, I waited a day to see if I could handle it myself." For some reason, she was very, very reluctant to even bring it up with her teacher. Like she is embarrassed by it, and doesn't want to tattle. Being a kid is hard.

That is what we've got brewing today. I will be linking to Keely's Random Tuesday Thoughts now, because I haven't exactly painted you a beautiful picture of the totality of life here, ya know? How are y'all?

randomtuesday

21 comments:

Cassie said...

I totally, totally agree about the "He hurts you because he likes you" school of thought. So damaging. I'll stay off my soapbox because this is your blog after all, but just wanted to let you know I think you and Laura handled it exceptionally well.

Oh and global warming isn't real. Santa says so. (WTH?)

Carrie said...

Seriously, if adults had to deal with the kind of behavior kids get from each other all day, we'd be basket cases. Being a kid is SO hard. I would never want to go back there.
That bathing suit looks really cute. Except I would never take the skirt off so the leg openings would be moot.

Keely said...

That is a totally cute suit! But I wouldn't take the dress part off either. In fact, maybe I'll try to get away with a sundress as swimwear this season and see how that goes.

Maybe your new neighbour just sucks at communicating? Because, global warming is heating the planet OVERALL, but really in practice it's just fucking with our weather systems. We had one of the coldest, bitterest, longest, suckiest winters EVER here.

Did I mention it was cold?

Amy said...

I am really impressed with Laura's handling of it! (And yours, of course!) Man, I hate that kind of stuff. And you make a REALLY good point about how we train girls to just put up with it. I'm filing that away for when I need it.

Love the suit! I'm sure you and Goldilocks will look presh by the pool. And I would probably keep the skirt on, too, but that's just moi.

Michele said...

I was totally going to tell you that I would keep the skirt on too but then I thought; "She'd never believe that of me". How about pretty ribbons to scrunch up the leg openings a little or a lot depending on how sassy your feeling?

Nice work with the Laura issue.

Hank (**shakes head**)My boys did the exact same thing.

Ginny Marie said...

Such a cute suit! I have two Land's End suits from previous summers that held up really well. I think that tells me that I need to go to the pool more often, so they will wear out, and then I can buy a new one!

I'm not looking forward to some of those issues that happen in school. *sigh*

Bex said...

aw! poor girl! she is very mature though, when i was that age i was still punching boys who teased me.

what a cute swimsuit! so between your new necklace, bras, swimsuit and shorts are you covered for the season or is there more to come?

Jenni said...

you ass is goldielocks! haha! and your seven y.o. is more mature than i am.

A Day That is Dessert said...

I know what you mean about swimwear...

Laura did such a good job!

Veronica said...

On the suit, what about Land's End itself, do they have a bottom in a solid color that's more flattering? Seems like you'd have the best shot at coming close to matching one of the colors and also matching the material if you stuck with the same brand...

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Becky, great post!

The global warming people did some focus group testing and decided "climate change" works better. Try it on the white-haired people.

That suit is ADORABLE. Send your Barbara Bush bottoms to me, because I never take off those skirts. NEVER.

The Messy Mom said...

Laura is so mature. I thought your advice was great. They talk about the affects of "he teases you because he likes you" in the movie He's Just Not That Into You. It's probably a good thing you didn't feed her that line.

Sara said...

Ugh. Low leg openings are terrible. I'd rather show *more* cellulite than have it pinched and severed by those stupid leg openings. I'm really enjoy this age of not caring as much.

Laura says some of the wisest things, I swear. I can relate a little: this morning I was packing Aggie's sack lunch for her field trip and I was drawing a silly face on the bag (she appreciates that sort of thing) and almost labelled it 'Aggie's Baggie' until I realized that could open up a whole can of teasing, so I hurried to scratch it out. Kid's can be so mean.

Bex said...

its me! i'm back! i have an award for you at my blog!

Casey said...

Yay for pooping on command. So global warming is real? No way! I hate hate hate when people type in all caps, it's terrible.

Michele Renee said...

So much to dig into here, I don't kow what to spoon into first! I love your peek into your parenting an d I totally pictured it happening during a walk from bus-stop to home. I guess I said the wrong thing. Is it OK to tell a boy that a girl bugged him cause she likes him? When my middle son was in 4th grade he had girls bugging him. (they called him on phone in 3rd grade but I guess they got more bold). He is sensitive and I automatically told him that it is their way of showing him they are interested--after all if you have no interest in someone you don't spend any time looking their way. Then I thought of that word "DEBUG" that they've taught in school by the counselors. Wonder if Laura heard the lesson.
D=decide to ignore.
E=exit.
B=Be friendly (as in your tone when you say to stop it).
U=use firm words.
G=get adult help.

And that suit is cute. Does the skirt come in "maxi-length"? Cuz as if serious muffin top wasn't bad enough I have just noticed some spaghetti-junction veins all over my legs.

fraught said...

Golly but I luuurrrv you and your posts cause you make me laugh and laugh. And plus I think how Laura handled herself was impressive. That's tough stuff. But good on you for the better advice. I'm storing that one away for my girls. And maybe for me.

Yeah, did Lands End not step it up this year in the swimwear dept?? My head started to spin. Didn't even get to actually ordering...

Beth said...

Oh wow, I felt a pain in the pit of my stomach when reading about Laura's experience with the "teasing" boy. My mom, like so many others, gave me the "he likes you" line about this kind of thing. I *knew* he didn't, just as I knew the incredibly shy little guy who blushed when I looked at him and hung around silently when I fell and hurt my knee *did* like me.

In 5th grade my teacher seated me behind a BIG hulking mama's boy brat. He wasn't popular with the boys and took it out on quiet unpopular girls like me. His speciality was inflicting quiet pain...turning around casually and leaning on the desk lid when I had my arm inside, etc.

After months of this (why my parents didn't intervene I have no idea) I got all my courage up and went to talk to the teacher. Her reply "Oh, Beth, you are NEVER going to get married if you don't learn to get along with boys." Can you imagine? This was in the 1970s, perhaps enlightenment hadn't reached the Midwest yet...

Drama Queen Jenner said...

Re: Global Warming and older people
My belief is they can't go for it because their circulation leaves them cold all the time. My grandma would go out in 80-degree weather with a sweater on because she was cold. It may not be that they're daft, after all. (Not that they couldn't be.)

AlGalMom said...

After lurking around for a week or two, I finally found a post to break my comment silence :) Bless you for giving your daughter permission to call that kid out and straightforward vocabulary to use when telling an adult. As the mother of four girls (the oldest is Laura's age) I really admire another mom who finds the right way to communicate to her daughter that she is worthy of respect. Be proud, mama!

Becky said...

Thank you, AlGal! Thank you for the vote of confidence. I am so glad you broke your silence and I hope you will stick around!