Thursday, February 26, 2009

Five Wrong Things That Happened in Spin Class

At the risk of sounding like the Princess and the Pea, this week in cycle class was sub-optimal.

1) On Monday the air conditioner was broken in the cycle studio. I had never realized that the room was being cooled artificially--I just thought, you know, it's winter. But coming into the room was like entering a sauna. And after the workout got going. . .oh my. I almost slid off the bike. I was very close to pulling off my tee shirt and letting everyone admire my new sports bra. It is dark in there, after all.

2) Except when it isn't dark. On Wednesday, the teacher kept the lights on. Apparently someone at LA Fitness passed out and fell off her bike during class. I was like, "That's a whole different gym!" It's hard for me to imagine that I'm leading the peloton when I can clearly see all the people in the rows ahead of me. Wah! Turns out we're all just riding and riding and not going anywhere.

3) On two big screens at the front of the room, they show videos of bike races to get us in the mood. On Monday, the teacher accidentally queued up the "Breakaways and Crashes" episode. Yikes! Piles and piles of bikes and French and Italian men. And road rash. We watched it anyway.

4) The back of the t-shirt of the woman in front of me said, "If you can read this, the Bitch just passed you." I basically hate clothing with actual words on it, but this was even worse. Vulgar without even being a tiny bit clever. Dumb. Dude, some of us have delicate sensibilities. Am I a fussbudget here? (Probably.)

5) While riding, I did a quick mental calculation. Three days a week, I take Hank with me to Lifetime Fitness, and then afterwards, I get him a kiddie smoothie or milkshake in the cafe there. It started as a reward/bribe for going to the gym childcare. Now it's just a pleasant routine. So that costs $2.68 a pop, or roughly $8 a week. That's $32 a month for a 4-week month, or $416 a year, if we keep it up. For child smoothies. I almost fell off my bike and skidded into the huge pile of French and Italian men.

I guess this is what that guy who wrote The Automatic Millionaire calls "the latte factor." Those little expenditures do add up. It just started so innocently, our gym milkshake habit. But maybe I need to cut back. It is a nice time for the two of us. I'm still cooling down, and he's been liberated from childcare, and we sit at a little cafe table and chat. Maybe I could skip a day here and there?

The moral is, if there's a tiny thing you spend money on on a regular basis, don't ever pause and add up how much it all costs over time. Because you'll just freak yourself out. No doubt I'll be getting a contract to write a book on personal finance soon.


Andy said...

I'm not sure exactly what the humor is, but there's something absolutely hilarious to me that "the Bitch just passed you" on bikes that are stationary.

Maybe something with inherent futility? Or it could just be the mild profanity. Tee hee!

Michele said...

OK, I’ve given it some thought. This has been a sucky winter in the ATL. But I see changes happening with Spring coming. You could tell Hank that it’ll be the smoothie on cold/rainy days. Or on same days no smoothies/shake at all. (I'm just a meanie, I know. Soon (with better weather) Hank/Mommy time could vary such as a Chik-Fil-A ice cream. How much are those? Or snacks from home consumed afterwards at the park, etc.

Hootie said...

That T-shirt is not clever. Putting that T-shirt on your dog? A little clever. Putting that T-shirt on a jar of kidney stones? Brilliant.

Amy said...

Hootie that IS brilliant. Love it.

It's an indication of the state of my soul, I guess, that I laughed a little when I read that someone passed out and fell off their bike. I just pictured it and it struck me as really funny. As far as your latte factor, it hurts my head to think like that. I buy Nate a pastry from the bakery every time we go grocery shopping, so I'm sure I have you beat. Maybe fill your pockets with jelly beans for him--and they can fortify you in spin class, too!

Kate said...

Think of it this won't be much longer until Hank is in school and won't be going with you to the gym! So, you're only spending $416 for just a few sweet years. Oh, and you're not just rewarding Hank, you're rewarding yourself for accomplishing a no AC, bike crashing, bitch t-shirt wearing spin class.

Anonymous said...

So, what does lighting, or the lack thereof, have to do with passing out anyway? Assuming she didn't just fall asleep, that is. Color me confused.

And I'm with jelly beans. You could save up that $416/year and, by the time he's in school all day, buy yourself a really sweeeet road bike to ride outside. With nary an annoying t-shirt in sight.

Casey said...

I don't actually know what a fussbudget is so I can't say if you're one or not but people's wannabe witty t-shirts annoy me too. Or the other day when some dude had a shirt that said "F#$k YOU!". I'm not a prude by any means but he was wearing it in front of my (nonreading) kids. Have some couth.

We spend about $150 a month on just drive thru soda. WTF is wrong with us?

Jenni said...

i don't know that I would mind skidding into a pile of french and italian men...

David said...

I had a student show up to class the other night with an "I Heart Farting" t-shirt. I thought about publicly shaming him and banning offensive and stupid t-shirts, but then I realized that might not be great pedagogy.

I do like Andy's reading of "the Bitch just passed you" shirt. I'll give her qualified (and slight) props if and only if she bought that shirt at the dollar store just to wear ironically to spin class ... and then burn immediately.

Keely said...

So I'm the only person who would find the "wrong" film to be infinitely more entertaining? Okay then.

Also, maybe she was wearing the shirt to be ironic. Because, y'know, none of you are going ANYWHERE.

Shouldn't you have posted this on a Monday? ;)

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

I'm with you, friend. Maddeningly, it all adds up. And every time I make a "tiny" expenditure, I justify it as being so very "tiny." Haircuts I could give Mr. M myself (he's too young to recognize a butcher job), Thursday night pizza, a Starbucks venti mocha, the month or so car wash, etc. etc.

Balanced my checkbook this afternoon and all my tiny "inconsequential" purchases had glommed together, morphed into a mammoth sinkhole. Damn.

Anonymous said...

Could you shut your eyes? It'd be lovely and dark and then you wouldn't have to see the stupid woman in front in her stupid t-shirt! You should probably shut your eyes when you hand over the money for the smoothie as well - that way you needn't worry about it so much.

Also - what Fraught said about the cyclist falling off cuz it was dark - I don't get that either!

Camp Papa said...

If your clients fall off their bikes in the dark you might not be able to see them and go to render aid, which your risk manager would think is a bad thing.

Becky said...

You guys crack me up! And you're so much more generous than me in your willingness to give "qualified and slight props" (great phrase D) to the t-shirt lady.

"I heart farting" actually made me giggle. So I have become the thing I hate.

I am practically sure that this lady was not being ironic and was not going to burn this shirt or put it on her jar of kidney stones later. LOL

And without being too specific, we all know that some activities are better in low light. Or, as BSouth suggests, with eyes closed. Speaking of which, Jenni, I'd be okay with sliding into a pile of French and Italian guys too. Oh dear diary!

A Day That Is Dessert said...

You always make me laugh - sorry to hear your class was such a fiasco!

I know what you mean about the little things not being so little over the course of a month or a year. Our pastor mentioned a book she's reading "your money or your life" at our Ash Wednesday service - I plan to check it out. Or your personal finance book - whichever I get to first :)

Hope you have a great weekend!

Sara said...

Maybe the 'I heart farting' guy was being ironic?

I'm trying to imagine the thought process of proudly advertising yourself as a bitch.
You should get to know her, Becky.
Could be some good stuff there.

I'm with Kate. Only so many years of kiddie smoothies, right?

Jenni Jiggety said...

Think of those smoothies as economy stimulation! You are doing the country a service!

This also works when you are shoe shopping, in case you are wondering.