Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Get These Dudes to City Hall On Time

Today is a big, huge day. In San Francisco this afternoon, these two guys are getting married.

David, on the right, has been my devoted friend for years, and in Michael, he's found the one. They are a pair of Mr. Rights. Now it can be told: a long time ago, I told David that I would kill him if he let Michael get away. And today they get to make it legal. We are all still in a whirl--they just decided a few weeks ago that with the election looming, and Proposition 8 on the ballot (more on that below), they would get while the gettin's good. I think it is romantic, like running away to Gretna Green in one of those old novels that David and I are always going on about.

So besides being romantic and exciting, this day is also political and exciting. David's full blog posts about their decision are here and here, and you should read them 'cause he's way smart AND giddy as can be, but I like this part below, especially. We have the chance, through this moment of social change, to realize what a varied and elastic institution marriage really is, or as David says, that “all the millions of straight married folks that have gone before us have figured out millions of ways of being married.” This may be the conservatives’ worst nightmare, but I think it’s true, it’s exciting, and it’s happening. David says:

One thing that confuses me about the party line for us marriage-equality supporters is that we say it won't redefine marriage. I understand this as a strategy, but there's no way around the fact that this will change marriage. I think that's what might be exciting—and maybe even more honest—about it. This is another opportunity for a dialogue about the real workings of the institution—what it flattens out, what it might open up, where and how it's about the operations of power, where and how it's about the private and the public. . . .I know this sounds terribly unsentimental. But it's a
politically fraught moment, and there's no getting around the fact that my marriage will be bound up in this and a lot more. And, straight readers, so are yours. They always have been, in one way or another.

So, on Election Day in California, voters will decide on Proposition 8, which would amend the California Constitution to “eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry.” Ever since the California Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage earlier this year, some folks out there have been flipping out like it’s the apocalypse. Here’s just one choice bit from the Yes on 8 people (I won’t link them—you can find ‘em if you want to):

If gay activists want to legalize gay marriage, they should put it on the ballot. Instead, they have gone behind the backs of voters and convinced four activist judges in San Francisco to redefine marriage for the rest of society.

Did you get that? The gays are so sneaky! Going behind people’s backs like that! And my land, we let San Francisco have judges? You mean it’s not all marching in pride parades and shopping at Barney’s up there? There’s your problem.

Meanwhile, I haven’t noticed any perceptible erosion in my marriage vows since Sulu got hitched. And I’m no Laurence Tribe, but it seems to me that if prop 8 passes, it’s in violation of the Equal Protection clause of the U.S. Constitution. The folks at No On 8 have much more to say. Me, I'm just happy for my friends, whom I love. David and Michael, we here at my house are thrilled for you guys. Marriage really can be a blessed state, and Matt and I wish you every happiness. Let the bells chime. And OMG I just looked online at the Denby pottery you guys registered for, and I’m dying, it is so pretty. It. Should. Be. Mine. Also, someone has bought that Iittala bird for y’all. Where is MY gay wedding?


Cassie said...

How cute are those two?! Congrats to them! =)

A Day That Is Dessert said...

Congrats to the happy couple!! My church has married a number of same sex couples despite it not being "legal".

David said...

thanks to you and yours, dude! wish you could be here today.

xo d

Veronica said...

Watching David and Michael get married today was an amazing, touching experience.

So many of the "Yes on 8" ads I am seeing here in California argue that if gay marriage is allowed, they will be teaching gay marriage in schools. I would just like to say that I hope against all hope that in the future, people--in schools and outside of schools--will help me teach my children to care for others as much as David and Michael care for one another and their families and friends. I'm so very happy for them, and proud of them.

Bren said...

Congratulations David and Michael! We have a similar vote happening in Florida... seems so primitive, doesnt it?

Becky said...

Well said, V! And thanks on David's behalf for the congratulations, guys. I talked to him this morning and he said it was wonderful.

Dave said...

I believe it won't be too many years before conservatives, radicals, and everyone in between look back, baffled at how virulent the opposition to gay marriage was in these years, at how folks argued that it would destroy families and threaten children.

How can anyone "oppose" a committed, lifelong relationship of mutual care, between people who love each other deeply? What exactly is being threatened by that kind of love?

Anyway, I skipped ahead and read the end of the book. Love wins.

Becky said...

Right on, Dave. Love wins.