Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Bad Times

Well, I didn't know my sister Amy was going to blog about her situation when I went ahead and put up my adorable post about soup. A post which will now move on down the page. Instead go read Amy's post. She has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

I know. I know. I can't believe it either. We are all struggling to process this news.

She is 35, and I was 37 when I was diagnosed. So far it seems like she might be about where I would have been had my disease been found two years earlier. A smaller mass with no lymph node involvement. Or we hope and pray she is.

I was talking to my friends about how we all have this idea that there is a "fair" amount of misfortune that is meted out to each family, and any more than that is "unfair." But of course we know that is not the case. We need only look around us and around the world to see that.

I know she will come through it, whatever it is, like I have come through it. And she will be brave and I'll be funny and we'll blog our way through it and we'll probably be as charming as fuck. But today it just makes me sad and I don't want to do any of it. Not any of it.

But Amy is not such a downer and she would love to hear from you. Go by and say hi and then come back here and say swear words with me.

39 comments:

Beth said...

Urgh...when I saw your post title on Twitter I very much hoped it was a joke. :(

Praying for rapid healing for Amy and for peace for your whole family.

Julie said...

Becky: Hi, you don't know me but I've been reading your blog for a long time. I found you through my friend Aimee Woolwine. Anyway, I am so sorry about all of this and wanted to let you know that my husband's family has been through it too (3 of his 4 sisters all had breast and ovarian cancer within 2 years, tested + for BRCA2 gene) and it all has ended up being ok as they are all in remission. I remember telling my friends that it was liking being a supporting character in a Lifetime television for women movie but you didn't get to shut it off for bad acting!
Good luck to you and your sister- you will be the perfect support for her because you understand exactly what she is going through.
Your friend in Vermont,
Julie

Steve said...

shit!

she is so lucky to have you as her sister.

Veronica said...

Saying all the swear words I can think of. Love you guys.

Aimee said...

It seems I'm going through the seven stages this hour, and right now I'm on anger, so I can probably comment without losing my shit.

DAMN Cancer! I'm So Freaking Sorry. Doubling my fundraising efforts for the ACS, starting today.

xoxoxo
~A

lar said...

I'm a terrible lurker but I'm coming out of hiding to say I'm praying for Amy and her family, and for you and your parents who probably feel farther away than usual.

Beth said...

Hell shit! (That's what my mom used to say when I was a kid. ?)

I totally have that feeling about equality of misfortune; I was so with you when I read that. I often try to reconcile it, the injustice we see around us with the notion that somehow everything is or should be equal. It never comes out right.

You will both be charming as fuck, and Amy will also be funny and you will also be brave and we will all be astounded.

Kate said...

Amy/Becky, I am so sorry to hear that. You caught it early. My mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer exactly at the same time Becky was with breast cancer. Hers was advanced and she died shortly thereafter. 3 of my family members have thyroid cancer now, so there you go. The hereditary factor is a bitch. I have a nodule that is "under surveillance". I just know you will be fine, and having the experience of watching your sister go through it all will truly help. My brother is not scared at all about his treatment plan since he knows what he will be facing having watched my Dad and sister do it. I will be thinking of your family.

Kate said...

Amy/Becky, I am so sorry to hear that. You caught it early. My mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer exactly at the same time Becky was with breast cancer. Hers was advanced and she died shortly thereafter. 3 of my family members have thyroid cancer now, so there you go. The hereditary factor is a bitch. I have a nodule that is "under surveillance". I just know you will be fine, and having the experience of watching your sister go through it all will truly help. My brother is not scared at all about his treatment plan since he knows what he will be facing having watched my Dad and sister do it. I will be thinking of your family.

Roving Lemon said...

#?@$!%^&*#$@ x 50. It IS unfair. But as we all know, life is notoriously unfair. I know you will be brave, and supportive, but oh staring down that road ahead is so hard. Sending good thoughts & prayers to all of you.

#?@$!%^&*#$@ x 50 x 2.

Marsha said...

I just rolled in the door from my annual, little mammo referral slip in hand. Thought I'd do a little light reading before calling the imaging office.

Right. Unfair. In a zillion and one ways - not to mention scary and more than a little anger-making. I'm sending much in the way of good wishes and hopes to the whole family.

Elle said...

Eyes up, you too. This is not a referendum on yr wellness. xoxox

Cassi Renee said...

I read your soup post before this one. I've read Amy's post too now, and I'm so sorry. I will be sending positive thoughts out to both of you.

Jenni said...

I fucking hate fucking cancer.

Amy said...

Becky, that soup post IS adorable. Y'all go read it, too. If this makes us forget the importance of celery, then CANCER HAS WON.

Thanks so much, everyone. Your kind words mean a lot, even the swear ones! Kate, I'm sorry about your mom, and Julie--wow! That IS just begging to be a Lifetime movie. You guys are the best. Every one of you!

Kelly said...

Love you B. Just let us know what we can do xoxo

Beth said...

See, I told you Amy would be funny, too.

Becky said...

I know! Such an overachiever.

Shannon said...

Not much to say from my corner except that really f'ing sucks and I'm with the optimists. This breast lump too shall pass.

Or, think of what you and Amy have done for your daughters' generation.

Holiday said...

Awww crap. There is is no equality in misfortune. The dickheads skate on through and the good, kind, sweet, funny as fuck sisters get the cancer. That proves it right there.

She is lucky to have you as her guide and her friend. The way I see it, cancer is a year out of your life. A bad, bad, bad, shit bad year. But then you get the next year. And the one after that. Those are the important ones. This year, meh, was not shaping up to well anyway, right? Let's skip it and head to 2013 when things are rosy as can be.

I swear. Rosy. As. Can. Be.

puncturedbicycle said...

Oh crap, that really is bad news. I guess it's great and incredibly lucky that it was discovered at what seems to be a very early stage, but that is kind of cold comfort and it must be really hard for you all. Keeping you in my thoughts and wishing Amy the best for quick treatment and recovery. x

Elizabeth said...

Holy shit. That works for me and all the tragedy I've seen.

I will pray for you and your dear sister every day, and I'll send lots of healing thoughts.

jo said...

Feels like a kick in the guts for your family.
Stay strong girls, swearing helps

Christian said...

So sorry to hear.

KristerT said...

This just makes me so angry! Isn't that dumb - I have never met either of you. But I am enraged.

Wishing for better days for your sister, you, and your whole family as you get through this. Better days, filled with peace, and laughter, and celery soup. Lots of celery soup.

Lisa Lilienthal said...

fuckity fuck fuck. So very sorry, but very hopeful, too, that all will go well.

Allison said...

I am so sorry this has affected your sister. Celery is good.

AlGalMom said...

well, dammit. I'm so sorry to hear about Amy's diagnosis. I wish there was an internet equivalent to bringing over a tuna casserole.

nancyblackett said...

Hey Becky, so sorry to hear this. My sister had breast cancer so off I trot for my regular mammogram this month. I am glad you are there for your sister to talk her through your experiences and be a warrior for optimism.

Holly said...

Thinking of you both.

Melissa B. said...

You know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. As always, I'm here for whatever you need. Love to you and Amy!

Molly said...

Your sister is an amazing woman and she is lucky to have such strong family support. I am sending you both good thoughts during this tough time I hope this doesn't sound self-serving, but my post today is on a great breast cancer awareness site (total coincidence) which offers a monthly email reminder to check your breasts. You can find it at www.thewaffler.com

gretchen said...

Got the prayers going here. Maybe I'll go buy another boob pillow.

KathyS said...

Well, nuts (which means we've gone from soup to nuts). For what it's worth, I will be sending out LOTS of good thoughts to your sister. But since she has DNA in common with you, I know she'll handle this with sparkle and fire. And if she needs anything, please say so -- she has a lot of friends (even if she hasn't met them all yet). xo

Jessica Gottlieb said...

Fuck.

Jessica Gottlieb said...

Fuck.

Becky said...

Guys, thanks so much for all your comments and caring. I know Amy has felt bucked up by hearing from everybody.

We are all a bit less grim today; she had a good meeting with her surgeon and he said she could definitely have a lumpectomy. Relieved. I'm sure she'll post about it soon.

Love y'all. xo

M said...

Expletives NOT deleted but flying out of my mouth with reckless abandon at unfathomed velocity. Prayers for all of you soaring into the universe with them.

Mary

Star said...

Thank you for sharing...all my best wishes and hopes.