Saturday, November 6, 2010

This Day I Am An Adult

Because I was at Costco this afternoon, and I purchased 100 postage stamps.  Yes, just like that.  "Madam, here is my 43 dollars and change, I would like to purchase the power to mail one hundred things, please."  All through my twenties and early (okay and mid) thirties, it was a hand-to-mouth, devil-may-care, one book of stamps at a time existence.  Honestly, I never knew where my next 20 stamps was coming from.  Sometimes I bummed them from people.  I did whatever I had to do, piecing together the postage from random old sheets of stamps, two-cent ones, thirty-seven cent ones, I didn't care. Then online bill payment came along and I practically never needed stamps at all.  But the good times don't last, do they?

Actually, I still don't need stamps that often, so what I've purchased is basically a lifetime's supply of franking.

Franking.  That's really what it's called.

And they're those Forever stamps (in a lovely holiday evergreen pattern), so I expect to make money off of this deal as postal rates climb.  I am all about the long play.

Also at Costco: I had it in my head that I needed to get Laura some of those off-brand Uggs they have there. Now, she hadn't asked for them, but when the weather turns chilly, I want to cover the world in Uggs.  Everything I see looks like a foot needing a boot to me, like when Sylvester looks at Tweety and sees him browning on a tiny rotisserie.

You see, the weather has only just gotten coldish here.  Every year I set a goal of waiting until November 1 to turn on the heat in our house, but I've never made it.  Until this year.  We haven't needed the heat yet, I'm pretty sure because of something that Al Gore did, but the last few mornings, I am weakening as it hovers around 60 in the house.  The family has already gathered around for Ugg Day, the ritual encasing of my feet in shearling boots.  We shall not see those feet until late March.  So my thoughts have turned to warm things and making warmness, and Laura's possibly chilly feet seemed like a perfectly good reason to drive over to Costco, and Hank and I set off.

Their selection was somewhat picked over, but Hank, my shopping wing man, held my purse as I crawled inside the tower of boxes looking for the right size.  I had to re engineer the pile so it wouldn't topple onto us, and every box had to be turned a different way.  Hank kept offering to move or lift things for me.  Then I went around to the other side of the aisle--you know how they have everything stacked warehouse style--and tunneled through a bunch of Fruit-by-the-Foot cases to get to the back of the boot stack.  Hank said, "I'll move those foot snacks for you Mom."  I swear, I see in him the beginnings of gallantry.  He always wants to be my strong helper.

So I was very occupied with helping him help me, bending down, and examining every frankin' box of boots, and realized, too late, that I was treating all of the other patrons to some major coin slot.

Oh well.

What else went on since we last spoke?  Just matronly things.  I've taken Laura to her new swim team practice thrice, I have prepared a number of adequate meals, and I have generally done the things necessary for basic family survival.  Also I had a rich inner life.

Tomorrow morning we are going to dash up to NC to meet some friends and stay Saturday night at the mountain house.  Should be freezing at night up there.  But that won't bother us, because of our ugg feet. Yes I got Laura some and I got myself another pair too. Yes I already have some, oh stop it. I am a grown woman with much postage.

Back in a flash, lovers.


Elizabeth said...

You know it's getting cold in Los Angeles when you see the girls in shorts and Uggs. 60 degrees is the time to bring them out.

Star said...

How is it possible that each post seems the best one? You caught me by surprise in the middle (never heard the phrase "coin slot"...pretty darn funny). Thanks so much for the smile, in itself a font of inner richness.

M said...

Your depiction of your relationship with stamps and recounting of your palette-diving at Costco evoked universal truths with such hilarity that they must go straight into Best of Sub Mat: The Collected Works!

We are on the prowl for the second pair of Uggs my daughter will own---she wants the real ones so this requires her to fork over hard-earned babysitting money as only the ones from Costco are in my budget. Since I have no financial investment in her current pair, I'll begrudgingly give the name brand credit for bearing up under the wear and tear only a middle schooler could inflict.

Personally, I'd like to give a plug for Earth Spirit from Walmart, a total knock-off of Earth boots. I got an awesome pair two years ago and wear them the way everyone else wears Uggs. They cover my, mmm, orthopedic issues in a semi-fashion-forward way.

Cheers for the subtle shift to pre-winter and stay toasty in your uggness!

Beth said...

I am so with M on this one... definitely a "Best of" post. I read several passages to husband, mostly because I was LOLing and he was all, 'WHAT?" I lurve the postage bit, because it is so true, and I also loved the harmonic convergence of Fruit By the Foot stacked by the foot covering products.

Brilliant once again, love. I aspire to be you.

Jenni said...

Ass crack is par for the course at Costco. If you have to show some to get a deal,or look at some for that matter, you just do it.

Nelson is obsessed w/forever stamps and ways we can use them to make money. He thinks they are an investment.

Bonnie said...

Becky, you are just so hilarious! xo

Meghan said...

I do heart you and your sassy humor.

I do not like Uggs. But, even this cannot change my affection for you and this blog.

The end.

By Meghan.

Elizabeth - Flourish in Progress said...

"major coin slot"....HA! you're so classy, i just can't stand it.

safe travels!

Amy said...

High-larious, Beck! This is vintage "you" in so many ways--loved it!

I remember those hardscrabble days of bumming stamps off the guy next to me. Heck, I'm still in 'em. And that Hank...what a little hero! He is a sweetie.

Jen said...

I've pretty much been the same way. I buy them when I send out christmas cards and that's about it. You're right about the on-line payment thing, it's fantastic until you have to mail something not listed on the computer. There've been many times I didn't even know the price of postage!

Keely said...

with posts like these, we can still be friends despite your predilection for Uggs.

janimal said...

Ya know how this Jewish girl knows the holidays are approaching? I see mom jeans stuffed into Uggs at Walmart.

Anyway, great post. Can I borrow a stamp? I never have any....

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Re your cool weather, I am so eternally jealous. Ugg!

Casey said...

I would definitely consider bulk stamp purchasing as a sign of adulthood. Bravo.

gretchen said...

Franking. I love it when I learn a new word.

Apparently, it's a pretty common surfer look out here in L.A. to wear Uggs with your wetsuit on a coolish day. True.