Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Smooth Move

Is it already Wednesday? Weird.

Our friend Rick is in town, and last night he and I stepped out to the picture show. On the way we stepped into the Starbucks at the bookstore, which was not, as it turned out, a real According-to-Hoyle Starbucks, because they could not make my drink, a short cappuccino. They only have tall, you see. Now, the short is not on the Starbucks menu, but in my experience, they will always make it, and it costs about two dollars. But not here.

Remember the song "Punk Rock Girl" by the Dead Milkmen? I thought of this:

We went to the Philly Pizza Company
And ordered some hot tea
The waitress said "No!
We only have it iced."
So we jumped up on the table
And shouted "anarchy!"

I shouted anarchy and got the regular plain old coffee. Then, because I can't slurp down a tall coffee in ten minutes, we took our beverages to the movie theater. The ticket girl informed us, with great sadness, that while we were welcome to finish our drinks in the lobby, we could not take them into the theater.

So, of course, while I was in the ladies' room, I nested my coffee cup down in my big hobo bag, and then held it still with my forearm while we walked into the theater and took our seats. Classy, yes.

Then as we were getting situated in our row, I carefully reached in to retrieve my cup. I must have made a noise of distress, because Rick said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said. "There's just a shitload of coffee in my purse."

Luckily I had a pair of Laura's sweatpants in there (?) to soak up the spillage. Also some mail.

We saw Inception, which I enjoyed totally. I can't figure out why it was so good, because it has so many moving parts and such a complicated premise that it should have been a big pile of doo. But it was fun and it worked for me, not just as a gee-whiz experience but on a human level, thanks in large part to Marion Cotillard. I definitely recommend it.

I do not recommend drinking a tall Starbucks coffee at ten pm. When you do that, you are still chatting gaily at 2 am, and getting to sleep before 3 is not happening.


gretchen said...

Man, I would love to step out with some man who is not my husband and see an adult movie in an actual movie theater. I'm very excited to have my two upcoming days in NYC without Jimmy or Jude to step out all I want! And I bet that any coffee place in the city can make you anything you ask for.

Sara said...

heh. Dead Milkmen reference. Like.

I have to keep reminding myself that I want to go see Inception. Sam and I will have such fun arguments about it!

Jenni said...

The fact that you had a pair of Laura's sweat pants in your bag when out for a movie is completely awesome.

Jenni said...

Oh, and clearly that Starbux could use some fixin...

Ginny Marie said...

Many, many years ago when I was young and single (ha!) my girlfriends and I sneaked coffee into the movies. We always said if someone would just sell decent coffee in a theater, they would make big bucks! Unfortunately, we're too lazy to try to carry out our own money-making scheme.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Thank goodness for Laura's random sweat pants.

Next time spike it!

Amy said...

Why couldn't they make a short cappucino? Isn't it just LESS than a tall? Craziness!

When I read that you put your coffee in the bag, I though--uh oh. Thank goodness Laura's sweatpants came to the rescue.

So, Inception is worth seeing? Will it freak me out too much? You know how I am.

Amy said...

Oh, and Jenni--another Dead Milkmen reference! Nice one. :)

Keely said...

Well what else are those hobo bags for? I walked out of a pub with 3 pint glasses in mine the other day (they were a promo, I wasn't stealing them, though I felt very daring. In retrospect I should have asked for a box).

I want to see that movie, I think.

Beth said...

LOVE the Dead Milkman reference. I think I have that song on a mix tape somewhere in my garage. It's probably melted.

I can't wait to see Inception. Thanks for not spoiling. My husband said he was at work on MONDAY and there were two people standing outside his office chatting loudly about spoily-spoil-spoil, and he had to shut his door.

Ugh, how often I've done the same thing with the drink in the bag, to the same result.

A Day That is Dessert said...

You really know how to make me laugh! I've found I spill things in my bag with distressing regularity; like you, there is often something inside that helps soak it up.

M said...

Gosh, of all the things I've snuck into places tucked inside my purse, coffee was just never one of them. Thankfully, apparently. While my profound coffee addiction would encourage such behavior, my equally powerful purse addiction would rein that impulse in immediately.

A boatload of movie-sized boxes of candy from Target, yes. Steaming hot beverages, no. You get an "A" for derring-do in my book.


Michele R said...

I ditto what Mary above says. But I'll add that when I get home I find the boxes of Milk Duds and Raisenettes have spilled out into my purse and then got stuck all over each other.

David said...

They sell good coffee in the theaters here, and it's usually the least expensive thing on the menu. Just sayin': if you moved back, you wouldn't have a mess in your purse. think about it.

i don't know what the blogging etiquette is on this, so excuse me if this is a no-no: could you maybe write a post about _inception_? i want to know more about it before i commit.... or you could just send me an email, i guess.

i second the props for your citing the dead milkmen. how did i not know you had that in you? :D

Erika said...

Part of the problem is that you all don't layer out there. You see, when I sneak things like that into the theater or the library, I casually drape my sweater or long-sleeved shirt over my beverage. Crisis averted. We are going to try to see Inception tomorrow or Saturday.

Crystal said...

Don't you hate it when your clever tricks backfire?!