Monday, May 17, 2010

Sideways

Hank zonked out.

Ruh roh. Little bud is ailing. After sniffling all night, he's running a fever today. Some kind of virus. And there is one of my new couches, all covered with blankets gypsy-caravan style. Not how I intended to show the new couch friends to you guys, but new furniture plus possibly-sick child equals Becky overreacting. At the first sign that Hank wasn't feeling well this morning, I scooped him off the couch into my arms while my parents gathered blankets to put under and around him. Then he conked out in his little nest.

Then my parents left. Wait, what? Yes. They just waved and rolled down the driveway, off to rejoin their own so-called lives. We've had at least one grandparent on duty, nearly constantly, ever since my mastectomy at the end of March. There were gaps here and there--gaps when Matt and I had to resume full household and parenting duties--but blessedly soon, the next shift would arrive for work. I mean, do they think we have the emotional maturity and judgment to care for these children on our own? We'll see.

Thank the Lord that Matt's mom is coming on Wednesday.

And I really needed my mom and dad over the weekend. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I was in some kind of chemotherapy funk. It wasn't too bad, because there was no upchucking, but I just felt weak and kinda out of it. Doing very much for the kids would have been really hard. My symptoms seemed to be, mainly, a headache and a feeling that things were just not right. Not things with me, things with the whole entire world. Like, seriously, I got up Saturday morning and everything seemed fine, but I thought, "Something is just not right. It's all slightly wrong and it's heading sideways."

I found confirmation in the fact that my coffee tasted a little funny. And not funny ha-ha either. The news on CNN seemed faintly sinister. The foster children (Conspiracy Guy's brood) arrived to play with Hank, and they seemed super-duper annoying. Whiny, whiny children! Even my own precious angels seemed extra messy and attitudinous.

By afternoon I'd relaxed and recovered enough to confide in the family the fact that I'd been feeling like a double-plus bitch. I don't know that they were surprised. I really do think that my Codi moments are some kind of symptom of the chemo drugs.

Today I feel more normal, and I'm hoping I can keep Hank steady. He's my steady beau.

15 comments:

Casey said...

Aww, poor guy. Hopefully it's a one day bug and he's better by tomorrow.

I dunno if your moods are Codi inspired or what but I think I caught them too. Hope things are looking more cheery soon. :)

Michele said...

Ooohhh the poor little dude. I hope he is feeling better soon. You can't have your steady out of commission.

mmeperpetua said...

The nest looks super comfortable. I loved the couch-covered-in-sheet that was part of the sick day package when I was a kid.

Sara said...

I don't think that's an overreaction on the furniture at all. (I'm already pre-planning for baby puke.)
Such a bummer that Hank's down and out. Does look totally comfy there though.

Any kind of reading or watching news with a case of the funks is a really bad idea for me. Naps and snacks and seclusion work better. So that's my helpful hint, I guess.

You're doing really great. "Double-plus bitch" --hee:)

Jenni said...

Aw, poor guy.

Oscar peed on my non-new couches the other day when he was napping and I think there was steam coming out of my ears. So, covering the new ones is totally understandable.

Glad the funk is fading. Hold out for reinforcements!

Cassie said...

Grandparents leaving totally strikes panic into our hearts as well, which just underscores how awesome they are in times of Holy Crap and WTF. Bless 'em for all they do!

Phil's tastebuds were kinda off after Cytoxan also, and the Dex crash definitely had him feeling grumpy. I'll have to ask him about the sideways feeling... I'm guessing he'll concur.

I hope lil' Hank is feeling better soon. I think your family needs a "Get Out Of Sick Free" card for the next few months. XOXO

Amy said...

What?? No staff? That is just not right.

I find cable news pretty sinister even on days when I'm feeling good--I'm sure it didn't help you de-funk. I know the last few days have been tough...I'm hoping that you're turning a corner soon! Sounds like everyone needs to settle down on the couch for some Netflix time. Hang in there--miss you!

A Day That is Dessert said...

Oh Becky. At the very least, I hope your taste for coffee comes back. That is just unfair! xoxo

A Day That is Dessert said...

And I hope Hank feels better soon!!

puncturedbicycle said...

It's funny how a feeling can hit you so precisely. Enough with the horizontal already. I hope things are looking up (vertical, one way).

Michele R said...

I hope both you and Hank are feeling more steady! That sure is a lovable looking nest you created for him on the couch.

Maggie said...

How precious is Hank, I ask you???? I am glad that you are starting to feel better. I hated to hear that this round put you down for the count. BTW, you look gorgeous in the wig. Love ya

Scott said...

"Something is just not right. It's all slightly wrong and it's heading sideways."

And you're positive you didn't slip into some sort of alternate universe, like on "LOST?"

gretchen said...

Ooooo. Codi can be your evil twin.

Ginny Marie said...

After my second chemo treatment, I kept demanding to know what my mom had slipped into my water. She insisted it was just water...but it had this awful metallic flavor. Blech. I hope Hank has bounced back by now!