Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Let's Check in on Codi, Shall We?

<span class=

For those of you just joining us, Codi is this here wig on my head. Her color is "maple sugar," did I tell you that? So how is Codi doing? She's fine, just staying busy, you know how it goes. I'm quite pleased with her; I think she looks pretty natural. And God bless her, she keeps a shape that it takes a blow dryer and a round brush to achieve with real hair. She feels like real hair too. Sometimes find myself twirling a lock of it the way I always did my own hair. Then I get slightly embarrassed, like you might if you had to kiss someone for a play and you got really into it.

Or not much like that maybe.

Underneath there I'm like Ripley in Alien(s). That little cropped 'do that Matt gave me lasted about five days before it got too thin, and he buzzed it the rest of the way. Codi went on better after that. My head turned out to be a really normal shape too. You never know.

The kids like Codi. I went in to read to Laura's class last week, and afterwards Laura said, "Mom, you were sitting there and your hair looked so real!" And Hank said today, "Mom, I'm getting used to your bald head. But I'm more used to your wig."

They have both been real champs about it. One of the first days that it was all cut off, I was walking around the house and Laura said, "Mom, why don't you put your wig on?" I said, "Listen, you guys are going to have to get used to seeing me in wigs and hats and bald at different times." That's why Hank reassures me every now and then that he's "getting used to it."

When Matt's brother Andy came to visit last week, Hank told him he had something to show him in his room. He led Andy up there and told him where to sit. Then he sat down opposite him and said, "Mom's taking medicine that makes her hair fall out. My medicine won't make my hair fall out, but hers is falling out and she has a wig to wear. And she looks like a boy."

Matt had been the one to tell Hank what was about to happen with my hair, and he obviously got the message. I love that he wanted to clue Andy in, like he knew that my appearance might be surprising. I also overheard him telling Laura all about it the day he found out. Of course she already knew and was like, yeah, old news. Matt and I considered the whole thing a successful information roll-out.

The only awkward thing in the Codisphere is when I run into people I know only slightly or see very infrequently who don't know about the cancer and chemotherapy, and they say, "Oh, you have short hair now!" or some such. This happened three times in the last couple days and I dealt with each differently.

Scenario 1: at the party I took Laura to, the mother of the birthday child saw me and said, "Oh wow, you went short, it looks cute!" To which I replied, "Thanks!" and left it at that. If she'd been bringing her daughter over for a playdate, or I'd been at her house, I would have filled her in. But it was not the moment for me to be all, "Lemme bring the room down a little bit."

Scenario 2: at the carnival we ran into one of Laura's former classmates. I'm friendly with the mom, she's very gregarious, and she was there with her whole family including the grandparents and all her children. She said, "You have short hair now!" I said, "Yeah, there's a whole story to that." She said, "Really?" I said, "Yeah, I'll tell you about it later." Then I laughed and she laughed. I'm not sure what we were laughing at, except that it probably seemed like I had some bad salon experience to impart. Again, it didn't seem like the moment to start at square one.

Scenario 3: leaving swim practice, a neighbor I know only slightly through Pretty Neighbor, said, "Oh, it's you! I didn't recognize you with your short hair." She was sitting in her golf cart and I was standing with Laura. Somehow it was easier to be brief and direct. I said, "Actually it's a wig. I'm having chemotherapy." And she said, "Well it looks really cute." And I thanked her. I figured she'd get the deets, if she wanted to know more, from Pretty Neighbor.

So I don't know, we are muddling through, Codi 'n me. I can stand to wear her for a good eight or nine hours, or how ever long I need to be running around doing things, but there comes a time when it's moonrise on Mt. Baldy. You know how it feels really good when you take off your bra, or your high heels? It's kind of like that, only on your head.

31 comments:

Mad Woman said...

I think Codi looks lovely and suits you to a tee (from what little I know about you from stalking your blog). Hank is too cute, trying to fill in his uncle. :-)

mmeperpetua said...

She looks good! And not good-considering-it's-a-Codi-good, but GOOD.

Michele said...

Okay, who styled Codi for you? I've been trying to achieve that look for the last 6 months. It's this stupid wavy hair that keeps mine from achieving Codi glory. I've decided that I'm taking this picture to my stylist.

The Dental Maven said...

Girl? You make Codi look DAMN good!

Amy said...

Ohmigosh, that Hank telling Andy story is too much. How sweet is he? What a little man he is becoming!

I think you handled all those scenarios really well. I agree that not every setting is good to roll out the whole story. Plus, it's taxing for you! Maybe you should print some brochures to hand out? ;)

That picture? You are Hottie McHotToTrot.

Frau said...

I love that your kids are getting used to all of your different looks. You and your hubby did a great job with the info. I think you look beautiful in your wig!

Maggie said...

You look gorgeous, as usual. I love that you and Matt have done such a fantastic job with your kids. Yall are such a cool family. Hugs to the whole bunch!!!

Barb said...

Hello,

I've just recently started reading your blog because my sister is going thru "the whole boob thing" too; she's 56. She had her surgery and has yet to start her chemo due to complications. She is not looking forward to losing her hair. AND she doesn't really use a computer so getting her to read you will be an uphill battle. I'll have to actually send her your picture.

You are amazing! You look terrific and I think Codi makes you look quite chic. Your are an inspiration!

Sjn said...

I think it depends on your mood how much info you come out with. It depends if the "roller coaster" is going up or down.
You do look fab in that wig, you just look great all around!

Viki said...

I think you and Codi are a good match. The wig looks really great on you.

Marie said...

You are gorgeous and I am SO STINKIN' PROUD OF YOU !!!!!XOXO

Michele R said...

When I read about Hank telling Uncle Andy the deets it seemed just like a scene in a movie. Just perfect and precious.
I was thinking that people would stop you and ask about your haircut and even want to get the color copied. You look great.

Kelly said...

I like Amy's idea about the brochure. xoxo

Becky said...

Thanks ladies!

Barb, I'm sorry that your sister is going through this. But I'm glad you are reading. Maybe if she doesn't like computers, you could print out a few posts and make her a little book? :)

I bet you are a huge support to her. It feels so overwhelming at first, but she will find it is all doable, one thing at a time. The surgery is a major hurdle. Here's to her being past it!

Elle said...

zogma, it is so punk-rock, I love it! It reminds me of The Long Kiss Goodnight, you know, where Genius Davis has all the Christmas Princess hair and then she shoots the guy and they blow up Grand Central Terminal(or whatever) and then in the motel bathroom she does her hair all assassin-y and Sam Jackson is all, "Like, whoa, Christmas Princess!" It's like that. Have you had to shop a little differently to accommodate Codi's look?

Juliet Grossman said...

Feeling good when you take your wig off reminds me of Samantha in Sex & the City taking her wig off in front of everyone when she's up speaking at the podium at a benefit - it was perfect. I agree with the other posters that it looks great.

Sara said...

How nice to have that freshly styled look every day! It really is lovely and you look good.

I give you major hi-fives for all those responses to folks noticing the new do. And for Hank for explaining to his uncle, esp. using the old "I have something to show you up in my room." love!
I tell ya, you guys all know just the right things to say.

And I like what Elle said about your look being "assassin-y!"

Camp Papa said...

Full Disclosure Notice and Old Guy Lecture Alert: I am once more going to speak about my child. I wish you all could see a video album of Becky and Matt parenting videos. Here's the surprising thing: It is NOT all about the children...in the sense of the kids are the center of everything. Becky and Matt exemplify the notion that children thrive best in the shelter of a strong marriage relationship. (I think of analogies like birds in a large tree or tropical fish on a reef.) They give the kids everything they need without making them the central objects of attention for every moment of the day. The kids come to believe that they are safe and loved because they are a part of something larger than themselves. So, even when the family is stressed by circumstances, the kids know, without knowing that they know, that they are secure and everything is going to be okay.

Thus endeth the lecture.

Beth said...

ZOMG, Codi ROCKS. You look so sexy, girl! That is a great look for you. And I love Camp Papa's lecture.

Jane said...

Man, Hank is such a little sweetheart! And you, you seem to know just what to do in every social situation. I would've flubbed at least two of those convos.

The Messy Mom said...

I love the hair. When I saw this picture I seriously thought I should print it, take to the salon and tell them THIS is what I want. I know I could probably never get it to look that good though. You look amazing!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Baby, you and Codi are hawt together.

And, yes, your Dad made me cry. Again.

Steve said...

Your dad is simply incredible. I have been trying to articulate that very thing to my wife for 18 years. What an analogy. I'm off to talk to my wife...

Cassie said...

I just showed this picture to Phil and he said, "That looks way better than my wig."

(He doesn't have a wig. But I think he wants one now.)

You look beautiful.

Crystal Keilers said...

You look hot! Like hot hot hot!

And I love hearing how your kids are processing everything.

gretchen said...

I think you are gorgeous avec or sans Codi.

I love that Hank took his uncle aside to tell him the details. Sort of like he knew you might be a little sensitive about the topic, and he wanted to make sure Andy understood. Taking care of his mama.Good boy.

Julie at ModernDayMiddleAge said...

I love Codi! I could never rock her like you do but ... wow! Do you even have makeup on in that pic? You look gorgeous ...

delaine said...

Two things I want to say:
1. You are a beauty.
2. Hank's tender little heart...well it puts this lump in my throat.

Ash said...

Keep that shot and request that cut when all your glorious hair returns - adorable! My MIL is an 8-year ovarian cancer survivor, and sadly, I could not say the same about the muskrat she wore around.

Oh sweet Hank.

(usual stalker who finally got the nerve to join the conversation.)

Becky said...

You guys are too sweet, and flattery will get you everywhere.

About makeup: I did not manage to put any in before this pic, but when I do wear it it seems like I need to put on more. Something to do with Codi and my coloring, I feel like I need blush or bronzed and I never wore that before.

The Stiletto Mom said...

I like Codi, you guys are a good pair! She's such a departure from the golden locks of yore that will return to us eventually...you look adorable!!

PS: You are handling this better than anyone I've ever met btw with your kids and friends...and I'm not just saying that.