Thursday, October 27, 2011

Spoiler Alert

I don't know. Sometimes I want to pop in here and share a quick thought with you guys, and then I think, "That's not a blog post." And then a week goes by. And then the irate messages start arriving from my family. And then I feel all awkward, like I really owe you Something Great.

That Something Great is an elusive butterfly.

So let us unburden ourselves of these expectations.

There now. Last week Matt went out of town for work. This is rare for him. I was all, no problem, I got this, we're cool. Then at 6:30 the first morning he was gone, Laura walks into my darkened bedroom and says, "I'm ready to go to the bus stop." I was all, "What? Who? ZOMGWTF?!?" And I said, "Don't you usually walk to the bus stop?" And Laura's like, "But it's raining," and I was like, "Okay, GAH." So he was missed most keenly.

Alone at night, after the kids were in bed, I made the genius decision to watch Paranormal Activity 2 on Netflix. Just me in a quiet house, darkness pressing against all the windows, nearest neighbors absent or weird.

Two-thirds of the way through, I had to pause it and text Beth:
You have to tell me if this baby dies. Why am I watching this movie?
She reassured me. Beth always answers texts quickly and she's seen every movie. She should operate a kind of moviefone for these questions. But here's the spoiler alert...

I think that having viewed Paranormal Activity 1 and Paranormal Activity 2: Mo' Paranormal, I am finished watching movies where women get dragged by the feet by invisible demons, demons who drag them offstage, presumably to invisibly demon-rape them. Yeah. Done with that. I mean, a little goes a long way, right?

It is a spectacle that I no longer enjoy. I mean, not the way I used to enjoy scenes of invisible demon rape.

The weird thing is that if you take out the scenes of women being dragged backwards by the feet, I thought it was a pretty okay movie. Oddly, it was a good portrayal of the mundanities of normal family life. And I'm into that. I never thought to look for that in a horror movie, but there it is. It's something these "found video" movies can do well, and this one does.

So that was something I did last week.

What are you doing? Are you ready for Halloween? Do you like scary movies? Any good ones to recommend? Talk to us.

25 comments:

Amy said...

I can't deal with scary movies...even the trailer for that new one coming out scares me--the scene with the bathroom mirror?? Yikes! Maybe I should text Beth too. I'm amazed you watched it all by your own self! When Jason is away I can only watch Jane Austen adaptations and Modern Family. Well, not really but STILL.

Jenni said...

Hahah, Amy I can't wait horror movie trailers either! I did catch a few minutes of American Horror Story, that new show on FX, and I had to change the station like five times because it kept scaring me. Then a grown Downs child died and THEN the main adult woman character (who lives in the "haunted" house), who is pregnant, had something wrong with her baby (it made the ultrasound tech pass out after seeing it!) and it was just more than I could take. So I turned it off. If any of that makes sense.

Shannon said...

The Messengers (1 & 2) totally creeps me out though it's not really Halloweeney. Like sleep-with-the-light-on-if-I-had-a-choice-fear.

I do enjoy the paranormal category and was excited to see the new movie this weekend in the theatre. I'm convinced the only reason it's doing well in the box office is that it's the only 'scary' movie out this time of year and it's a sequel. Overall it was an ok movie but more of a rental/On Demand/disc mailer than $19 at the theatre for 2 tickets. Or maybe I'm just cheap, LOL. :)

jamieridenhour said...

I love me some scary movies. Have you seen Let the Right One In? Not the remake, the Swedish one...

Becky said...

Ooh, Jamie, I read the book. Sssscary! The movie--I think it's the original--is on Netflix, yay!

Leigh said...

Not much for the scaries. A friend of mine from The Country used to call them "booger movies" and that's become family lingo for anything scary.

I do love the ones that make you wonder if you're nuts, like "Sixth Sense" or "The Village"---unintentionally, I just picked two by director M. Night Shamalamadingdong, as he's known around here.

Good luck scaring yourself to bits!

Keely said...

I don't really like scary movies. I like suspenseful scary movies, like "The Others" or the Shamalamadingdong (heh) ones. I haven't seen any of the Paranormals or Saws or that crap. Bleh.

Veronica said...

I can't do scary movies.

We are all set for Halloween, though, with a couples costume: Patrick as a knight and Shay as a dragon. I am going as a pregnant person who refuses to dress up. :)

Ginny Marie said...

I don't watch scary movies anymore...I think the last one I saw was Blair Witch Project on the night it was released...before all the funny parodies. It freaked me out so much I couldn't sleep all night! And that was the end of freaky movies for me.

Elizabeth said...

I hate scary movies, particularly those about the paranormal. I was all excited to watch American Horror Story, that new show, because of the cast (Jessica Lange! Connie what's her name from Friday Night Lights! Frances Conroy!), and I managed to watch the first very creepy episode, but halfway through the second, when a girl was raped and stabbed by a ghost, I had to turn it off.

This is another reason that I admire you -- that you can watch a movie like that by yourself.

And by the way, you got me hooked on Breaking Bad, which I watched obsessively -- all 33 episodes up to the last season.

Common Household Mom said...

Hate scary movies. Not ready for Halloween. But I did rake 8 jillion leaves. And drove through eerie fog at 5 AM this morning. Should count for something in some universe.

Elle said...

I will watch a scary movie -- if it is not too-too scary, for example, I will never watch The Exorcist, ever. These Paranormals are not likely to be screened by me, either.

But afterwards, for a month, I will lie quietly in bed & ask Slone in a small voice to close the closet door. You know, so the monsters don't just slip out.

But lots of things can sneak up & frighten me in a lasting, closet-closing way. Some of those episodes of The X-Files, God Almighty!

I think about 5 years ago, I put my foot down about "entertainment" that featured any kind of pleading, begging, sweating, crying, and inevitable raping. I like to think Andrea Dworkin's light is shining upon me from Heaven. Seriously. xxo

Hootie said...

Becky... we do long for your insightful blog posts about hearth/home/decorating/neighborhood denizens.... But we also appreciate it when you throw us a grain of irritant about which we can accrete a conversation.

"Paranormal Activity 2. Aaaaand, GO!"

My point? You are awesome on many levels, so trust your whims. As Confucius said: Sometimes the blog writes you.

Wendy said...

You can have all my scary movies! (Although now, I think I will laugh and think of you any time I see an "invisible demon rape" scene.)

Funny lady. :)

M said...

Well, since you asked: as an adult, I have made it a lifelong habit NOT to watch horror movies. This, after jumping 10 feet on a couch when the leaves rustled and someone turned abruptly in the original Halloween movie and watching 95% of The Shining with my hands pressed to my eyes. To this day I am wary of birds on playground equipment because of watching Hitchcock when I was 10. And my family knew the real priest depicted in The Exorcist. Me+horror movies= very bad juju.

Michele R said...

You are crazy brave watching those movies. I won't do it. I got a text from a friend last night who loves scary movies and gets freaked out but still keeps seeing choice ones. her text stated that she was so scared yesterday by Pan 3 that she was crying when she got in the car. And was mad at the filmers for making it so darn scary.
Just let me watch that cutie pie Dexter and his habit and it is enough for me.

Beth said...

Hootie, wasn't it Yakov Smirnov who said that?

I LOVES me some scary movies. I actually watched PA2 by myself, too. :-) To clear up some people's misconceptions, Paranormal Activity is not in the same category as the "gore porn" movies like Saw or Hostel. Which I *don't* watch. I really like the scary movies that make you go "oooooh" instead of "Wah!" And what was disappointing about PA3 is that it was a lot of fake 'WAH!" and not enough "oooohhhhh." I think PA1 was really, really well done-- not a drop of gore anywhere but creepy as all get out.

I am also watching American Horror Story and loving it. At PA3 I saw a trailer for a new horror one-- "The Devil Inside"-- and holy bejeezus, it looks terrifying. Possession movies are my Achilles heel-- they terrify me and I generally won't see them (after being SCARRED for life by Exorcist as a kid). And I'm also really scared of the ones with kids-- still won't see The Orphanage, even though it was supposed to be brilliant.

I taught a whole class at USC on haunted house lit and film and another one on the serial killer genre. But other than that, I'm generally normal.

AmandaSN said...

Britt's been watching "American Horror Story" on FX lately, and (like most horror movies) I just find it gory and needlessly disturbing. I find I have less tolerance for the gore and violence since I've had kids.

puncturedbicycle said...

No, I'm not good with scary movies I'm afraid, but I'm with you about the raping and violence and stuff. Female and/or child victim as cheap plot device is kind of old hat. Though having said that, Alien is an amazing film. I'm such a hypocrite.

gretchen said...

Oooo! I love spooky movies! I too have been watching this American Horror thing, and it is genuinely cree-py. Love it. And I know it's super tacky to post a link to my blog in a comment (hate that), about a year ago I wrote a post of Jimmy and my favorite spooky movies, and maybe you'll find something interesting - http://secondblooming.typepad.com/second-blooming/2010/10/gretchen-jimmys-top-20-spooky-movies.html

Amy said...

Btw, I just saw that American Horror Story is premiering here tonight! Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to pass on that one.

Becky said...

Hootie, you're a good oyster.

And I watched the pilot of American Horror Story last night. That was enough! Holy crap.

Beth said...

Are you not going to watch any more, Becky? It's so good!!!

Becky said...

Is it? I am kind of curious! I thought it was good, just rather intense for broadcast TV. I kept saying, "This was on Fox?"

Beth said...

It's not on FOX, it's on... F/X? Same guys who did Nip/Tuck, so yeah, intense. But the cast is amazing & I find the story engaging and generally well thought-out.