Thursday, December 2, 2010

How Tacky Do You Let Yourself Get for The Holidays?

As I write this, I'm wearing a shirt that says, "MEET ME UNDER THE Mistletoe."  Or that's my best rendering of the shirt's typography.  It's written in those fuzzy letters like on 1970's little league jerseys, bright white letters on a green shirt.

When he saw it last night, my dad said, "Ah, did you pay money for that?"  I said I had.  He said, "That doesn't seem like you."

He's right.  I don't really have holiday-specific clothing and I certainly don't have clothing that speaks in actual words.  Yet I found myself in Old Navy one morning this week, and somehow I became owner of the mistletoe shirt and a waffle knit top with a reindeer on it AND, help me, a t-shirt that says "I've been nice."  Or really it says, "I'VE BEEN NICE."

I'm embarrassed.  But at least I didn't buy the "I've been naughty."  If that had happened, you would know that the pod people had seized control of my body.  Or that I'd been Imperiused.

Vulgaro!

And also, since I'm telling y'all everything, today I formed the thought, "It might be nice to have some Christmas earrings."

!!!

And do you know what I think is going on?  I think this is about not having my hair.  I don't have my long hair to be my decoration (except in dreams I still do). Hank and Laura both have various Christmas events in their classrooms, and with my no-nonsense Rachel Maddow hair, I somehow feel the need to jazz it up a little.

Festoonio!

Are you doing this?  What are your aesthetic boundaries for this season?  Even in other areas of adornment, I feel myself being pulled in a different--okay let's just say more tacky--direction than I go in non-holiday times. Witness the two pillows I have that look like fat little Santas.  I do not usually decorate with dolls.  And if I could afford one of those retro tinsel trees that is, say, bright aluminum, with the rotating color wheel, I would be on it like stink.

Bedizen!

We haven't gotten our tree yet, but we will this weekend.  We're easing in.  I have a Christmas tablecloth out and I switched to my Christmas bedding.  Yes, you would not meet me and think, "This girl has Christmas bedding."  This is what I'm talking about.

(It is the Pottery Barn "Swedish House" pattern and it sold out instantly and I had the duvet cover but I had to fight, like Hunger Games-style fight, for pillow shams on ebay.  Give me that Euro sham or I will shank you.)

By the way, if you DO wear a shirt that says, "I've been naughty," I am sure you are just quoting the wearing of the shirt and aren't actually wearing it so you are adorable and it totally works.

Night-night and MEET ME UNDER THE MISTLETOE.

And you didn't think I would post this without linking to this sweatshirt?

Snooch to the nooch,
B

17 comments:

Amy said...

Oh my, is this timely! I just bought a stuffed Santa and stuffed snowman yesterday, all the while thinking, "This isn't like me." I have one Christmas t shirt that has a bluebird with a Santa hat and a scarf on it. Um, it's cuter than it sounds. Never mind. Festoonio!

I say go for it. Get all up in there. Can you draw the line at puffy paint, though? If you do get Christmas earrings please please post pics. Because I will need proof.

Amy said...

Also I just went and re-read the Holidays! sweatshirt post. Lord, that picture kills me everytime. One of the best SubMat posts evuh!

Lisa Lilienthal said...

Oh dear! I fear it is the suburban influence that has marred your otherwise pitch perfect style, but what the heck - tis the season!

Kate said...

dang that's some cute holiday bedding! and your tshirt sounds quite fetching.

A Day That is Dessert said...

Pretty funny that your dad found you to be acting out of character... love this whole post. We, too are easing into the whole holiday thing. So jealous of your holiday bedding! I would have bought a set had I known about it in time to get some.

Elizabeth said...

I keep adding to my Santa collection and it's starting to terrify me.

Megan said...

Well, it ain't called the holiday season for nothing! It's a separate, very specific time of year when people's brains attune to the intonation of some cosmic alignment that makes us yearn to adorn our homes and selves with elves, red, green, deer and foliage. I attribute the holiday season creeping early of Thanksgiving to the planet's wobble. (One radio station was playing non-stop holiday music by November 12! WTH??)

So get on with your silly shirts and urge to play tannenbaum with your earlobes! 'Tis the season, right?

mmeperpetua said...

Oh my god, that bedding. I want it.

This is the first year we're "doing" holidays (both Hanukkah and Christmas) since it's the first year with a kid who kind of notices stuff. The problem with the dual thing is that we have the blue and white decorations around the house, but then we counterbalance that with red and green stuff, and in the end: mess. It's like we opened a politically correct daycare in here.

M said...

My Christmas decorating when in full tilt (not there yet) might, shall we say, overwhelm folks. The living room and dining room drip Fitz and Floyd Santas and reindeer. The family room rocks a certain Christmas lodge look. Last year I went beserk for new Susan Winget serve ware to go with the new kitchen.

But my excuse is that our anniversary is exactly two weeks after Christmas Day and we did have pointsettias on the altar and a Christmas ornament shower that launched us down this path. As I write this, I'm sporting a Mary Engelbreit sweatshirt ("You Better Not Pout"), but I swear I only wear it INSIDE the house!

My college-aged son is invited to 2 parties so far that require wearing an "ugly" Christmas sweater. I've spent the better part of my marriage keeping my husband away from stores during this season to avoid such purchases. Any chance your brother's lovely sweatshirt goes out on loan (as an icon of another era, of course)???

Michele R said...

Oh that bedding is so lovely! But alas I have a Hubs who has to give his input into all household decor and he would probably nixnay it and then I may get it anyway and then I'd have to wear an "I've been naughty t-shirt".

janimal said...

I have a shirt that says "Jews Do It For Eight Nights" - and you know you really don't see too many Hanukkah garments do ya?!

Festoonio out.

Jenni said...

No one south of fifty should have holiday earrings. NO ONE.

I have short hair, and I wear earrings almost every day. Wearing earrings is actually one of my favorite things about having short hair, truth be told. Get your self some ridiculously large hoops, or a green stone earring. Maybe you could find some cute and festive scarves to tie jauntily around your neck, French-style? I'm trying to save you here.

Love the bedding though. Love.

Becky said...

M, those ugly sweater parties are really on the rise! You see ebay listings using "ugly christmas sweater" as keywords.

Janimal, do I have to be Jewish to wear that shirt? Love.

Keely said...

If I chant "festoonie!" in my living room, will my house decorate itself? That would be great.

Also, I wear my "I've been naughty" t-shirt with IRONY, dammit. Nobody ever gets that.

Kelly said...

I like to wear little Christmas pins on my shirt. I have a Santa and a tree with ornaments. They scream "teacher" but with a plain turtle neck and scarf I think I pull it off...at least no one has told me otherwise ;)

Common Household Mom said...

There is Christmas bedding?! Yikes. I am partial to silly Christmas hats. The Santa hat is the warmest one I own so I wear it often in December. We also celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas, but I get off the hook on Christmas decorating cuz we always go to my brother's house. So it's just blue and white around here. And oily.

Elle said...

I spent a long time figuring out how to decorate in my usual style (rich, old, Addams-Family, insane-asylum sobreity with a splash of I Dream of Jeannie moderne) but holidays-y. Eventually, I figured out it was going to involve buying stuff, so that was a good first step.

It's mostly candles + stones, glitter + crystal. Heaping pretty dishes with glass ornaments, things like that. Forced paperwhites in the other bowls.

Dolls. We have a doll motif year-round, so it's just which dolls, what they are wearing, where they are. Many of them take time from their usual jobs of being the Rizzo Barbie or the Football Widow Polly to come on by the stable and linger, waiting for the Adoration. The mannequin & the dressmakers' dummy get to wear themed outfits. I have a Christmas Angel Barbie who hangs out in the kitchen. People are as rattled as ever when they come by at Christmastime, so I've hit the right chord, it seems.