Thursday, March 11, 2010

Confectionery Moments

1. On Monday Laura came in from school and running club and took off her shoes. I said, "Laura, I can smell your feet from here, did you wear socks today?" She protested that she had. I said, "Well where are they? I don't see any socks." She said, "Hang on, I'll get them." Then she went into the laundry room and brought back a pair of mismatched socks that I knew very well had been on top of the washer all day. I said, "Laura, these were the socks?" She said they were. I said, "You have one more chance to tell me the truth before I sniff these."

At this point I feel like a complete Mommy Dearest, and I am not enjoying this. Of course, after they smelled perfectly clean she admitted that she hadn't worn socks. And I fussed at her for lying for utterly no reason. I told her there would be no TV or computer that day and sent her up to her room. But first she had to tell her dad about it.

Then somehow the stress of having fussed at her made me walk straight into the kitchen and eat three girl scout cookies: one Samoa and two Do-si-dos. See where lying leads?

Later Matt talked to her and converted the punishment into lasting all week. But somehow he put a really positive spin on it. He is good like that.

2. Yesterday was "Doughnuts with Dads" day at Hank's preschool. I slept in while Matt took him to school. Gloriosity! Anyway, Matt said there was food set out for them and the kids sang a few songs, but Hank wouldn't touch any of the snacks because it was not doughnuts but doughnut holes. Try as he might, Matt could not get Hank to recognize the validity of the doughnut hole format.

3. Still yesterday, with Laura announcing her imminent death from boredom at not being allowed to have screen time, I told her she could make cookies from this frozen dough I had. So she did, and it was some fancy kind that only made like 8 cookies. Geez, could I get some Tollhouse up in here? Anyway, the kids each had one, but I told them they needed to save some for today.

At bedtime, Hank said, "Mom, do you know that people somewhere eat cookies for breakfast?"

I said, "They do?"

He said, "Yes, they are breakfast cookies."

I said, "What people? Who?"

He thought, and said, "A lot of people. All the people."

So I just gave Hank a breakfast cookie because, as he explained, everybody is doing it. He is so danged persuasive.


Jenni said...

I'm glad to hear Hank has such high doughnut standards.

gretchen said...

I feel sure that when you first contemplated motherhood, you never pictured yourself running around sniffing socks. I guess it's better than sniffing underpants.

Veronica said...

Everyone is doing it? Awesome, thanks for the tip, Hank; I am totally doing it tomorrow!

puncturedbicycle said...

I too question the validity of the doughnut hole format. It has gimmick written all over it. Smart kid.

(And wv: spunji - ? That seems, just, wrong somehow.)

Mad Woman said...

I'd like to thank your boy Hank for supporting me in my "donut holes are NOT donuts" quest. Also? For telling me about breakfast cookies! Yum!

Keely said...

Boy's got a point. I'll start tomorrow.

Amy said...

Breakfast cookies!! Love that. Hank is pretty much the coolest dude ever. And actually he's right--what's that cereal with the little choc chip cookies?

That is the funniest story about Laura...can you relate how Matt both extended her punishment AND made it a positive thing? That is some parental judo we could all benefit from.

The Stiletto Mom said...

I gave up on the socks a while back, it got to be a fight I couldn't win. That and I gained a bunch of guilt poison of choice is potato chips after a good fuss at the kids.

CrazyLovesCompany said...

Kids lying equals parents eating cookies. Got it. Thanks.

Sara said...

Doling out punishment is such a bummer. Why 'they gotta make *me* the jerk? Esp. when it's over something silly or small. Then I feel like *I'm* being punished. ('cause it's all about me, you know.)

I agree with Hank. Doughnut holes are a total rip-off.