Sunday, December 4, 2011

That Is Not Festive


Is your community plagued by the scourge of the inflatable Christmas yard decoration? This is my neighbor's house. I drive by several times a day, and Frosty, Santa, and Rudolph are ALWAYS lying down on the job. Rudolph looks like he just slipped in a puddle of his own Christmas cheer.

At least at night they're inflated. During the daytime, they lie there as wrinkled shells of themselves, looking for all the world like giant, discarded Christmas condoms. I kind of wish our HOA would institute a brutal crackdown. Eyesore! Litter!

Yes, I need to sip some wassail and chill.

I do think those inflatable things can be cute, maybe, if they're inflated. Eh, you know what, I was going to try to say something conciliatory so as not to alienate anyone, but we can just leave it with, inflatables are not to my taste.

Now, do we possess an adorable light-up tinsel Rudolph and tinsel penguin that we will be placing on our front porch tonight? Affirmative. So it's not all small white lights and fresh garlands from the Maine woods up in here. Heh.

We're going to get our Christmas tree today. Yay! I just like having a huge tree in the house. If it could stay there all year, that would be great. As it is, I tend to leave it up long enough to honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. My mother-in-law once redecorated hers with red bows and hearts for Valentines Day.

I also love all of your comments on my previous post. Matt and I have been reading them and exclaiming over them. Just, wow. Here's to some peace of mind and better days for those who need some.

Oh, hey, I have a nice Christmas playlist that I made, over on Spotify. If you have Spotify, you can click here I think to listen? I spent a ridiculous amount of time putting this together. Back in September. I'm all about readiness.

Smacks,
B

22 comments:

Keely said...

I am also not a fan. Alfred suggested we purchase one this year. I swear, sometimes it's like he doesn't know me at ALL.

Aimee said...

Omigod, I love you so much.

Common Household Mom said...

I think those personages lying there in their drunken stupor are very funny, but that's because I don't live next to them. One of our neighbors down the block has a light-up giraffe (it stands erect all the time, unlike those blow-up things) that I covet. My husband has forbidden any light-up animals, and I guess I am secretly grateful.

Suburban Princess said...

I thought I was the only one shaking my head at these ridiculous things! Okie...cute when blown up but who wants that on their lawn all day? Why not keep them inflated all the time?

Justine said...

Those inflatable things represent something about our American culture that bothers me. Can't quite put my finger on it. Blatant waste of energy, perhaps?

DIGGING the Belle and Sebastian "Oh Come Emmanuel." The Pogues, Vampire Weekend, The Pretenders! Looking forward to the listen. Thanks for sharing, B.

Cassi Renee said...

I'm firmly in your camp. I will go even farther and say I hate the blow-ups. Like Justine, they really bother me, although I find it hard to articulate just why they bother me when other Christmas lawn decorations don't.

What I really don't like is when people over-decorate. More is not always better, in many aspects of life!

Becky said...

Yeah, I know what you mean, maybe it is the pointless consumption of energy. But plug-in lights left on all night don't bother me. It just crosses over some kind of barrier into excess?

Noan said...

I figure they do it for the kids. One neighbor erects a large inflatable holiday something-or-other and the other kids (young,impressionable and enamored of cartoon characters) in the neighborhood see it and LOVE it. Then they talk their parents into putting one in THEIR yard. At least that is the story I tell myself as I drive past them in my neighborhood. It's the only way I can make sense of it.

Amy said...

"Mommy, why won't Santa get up? What's wrong with Santa??" Hee hee.

Camp Papa said...

Flaccidity is never festive.

Becky said...

I'm having that statement embroidered on cocktail napkins.

AlGalMom said...

At first glance, it looked like Rudolph's eyes were x'ed out. They must be brewing their own Eggnog.

AlGalMom said...

Also, I've always thought it would be a funny prank to completely fill someone's yard with those things. Cost prohibitive, but funny.

Elizabeth said...

I hate the inflatables, too. My boys, of course, think I'm nuts. Why, why is taste so difficult in children? Or when will or does it appear?

On another note -- thank you for the Spotify thing. I signed up and started listening to all your wonderful selections. I am going to lift several of them for my Carol of the Day feature, if you don't mind!

Amy said...

"Flaccidity is never festive"... you know, Camp Papa, I would have said that nothing could have made me laugh this morning in the wake of a 4:37a wakeup due to neighbor children playing with the alarm clock. But you proved me wrong. In spades.

Jody said...

You had me at "Discarded Christmas condoms." Still laughing about it, and I will quote you for years to come!

Kate said...

I'm with Amy. Camp Papa, do you have a blog like your daughters? Inflatables are tacky, but they are funny when they are flaccid and lying in a drunken stupor!!!

Camp Papa said...

Kate, I don't have a blog. I think I would suffer from over-exposure in very short order.

Allison said...

I like the idea of doing someone's yard full of supine blow up Christmas characters. The entire concept is just weird.

Laurie Jones said...

I'm not a fan either and why is it the people that like them never have just one? They have like 10 and why is Santa in an airplane anyways?!

Becky said...

Yes! The airplane! And a friend sent me a little video of a Santa ferris wheel, turning sloooowly in the breeze. It was mournful.

Mary B. said...

Thanks for the Spotify mix...Bruce Cockburn, yippee. So many good artists and songs. I even subscribed to your lists...no pressure! Ha.