Thursday, December 22, 2011

Dear Santa, Please See Attached

Weeks ago, probably back in October, Laura took me by the arm and ushered me into the office. She pulled out the desk chair for me and seated me in front of the computer. After some lighting adjustments, she stood behind me in the corner of the room.

Then, as she used the wireless mouse to fire up Power Point from across the room, I realized that instead of writing a letter to Santa, she had created a multimedia presentation. After a flashy intro slide, it went:






There were snazzy fade in/segue effects between each slide. I murmured appreciatively at the clarity and succinctness of her bullet points. My girl. Then she turned the lights up, and, I kid you not, she served refreshments.

(I couldn't make this child up. She is one of the universe's most extravagant productions.)

She brought in a plate of cookies and a cup of juice for Hank. For me there was coffee.

And darned if she's not getting just about everything she asked for.

A note about the tween gossip magazine. She has no idea what "cheated" means, or I don't think she's put that term together with what she knows about the biological facts of reproduction. I imagine she thinks it means going around town with someone else. And what's funny about these magazines--they don't have any REAL gossip in them, like, you won't read a word about Justin Bieber's paternity suit. It's all about who lost her cat and whose mom was really sick but now she's all better. L-O-L. And I never bought her one of those, but I think various grandmothers have.

I think her last slide means that she is open to receiving things not listed, but that Santa would like to provide on his own initiative if he has any ideas. She's fine with that.

And yes, I guess this is another one of those moments when you don't just suspect but know with certainty that you are raising one of the most indulged creatures in history, ever, but then you kinda just want to admire your handiwork.

A couple of nights ago, at dinner, Laura opened her mouth to muse about what she would do if she won the lottery. Matt and I--we really have been together a long time--interrupted her and said in virtual unison, "You have already won the lottery. You won it before you were born." Then we kept shushing her until she shushed.

Y'all having a busy week? I'm like, eek! Ork! Argle bargle Christmas! Coming closer! Been making candy for the neighbors and trying to remember a bunch of little things. And loving it, loving it all. I agree with my sister, Christmas forever.

Ring ting tingle!
B

22 comments:

Aimee said...

I am mindboggled - not by Christmas week, but by that PowerPoint presentation. And...refreshments, what???? OMG, she is phenomenal.

(Just occurred to me - my kids must not do this, because don't know how to use the coffee maker. Must fix that oversight ASAP.)

delaine said...

Refreshments even! That's our girl! Always working the angles. Looking at her list I am struck by how grown up she is. Bed, duvet, magazine. But then she still wants to be surprised by Santa, doesn't she. We all like a surprise. I hope she is pleased when Santa comes Saturday night. Love it!

Elizabeth said...

Yes, Christmas forever! And that child of yours --sigh. She's fantastic.

Holiday said...

2 things:
1) Your child is the polar opposite of mine, and much more like me...I live somewhat vicariously through you and especially delighted by the refreshments;
2) You need to do another post-every-day thing, you are my favorite "find" of 2011.

Ginger said...

That girl will be running the world very, very shortly. That's a better presentation than my CEO normally gives.

Becky said...

LOL, Ginger! I'm sure she thinks she should be in charge of everything.

Holiday, thanks for commenting! I love knowing who is out there.

Aimee and Elizabeth, merry Christmas honeys. Mom, see you tomorrow night!

Kelly said...

Oh that girl. She is truly amazing!

Jane said...

Laura is utterly delightful. Refreshments, no less! Also, she has evidently mastered the "it's/its" rules at a tender age, which will no doubt serve her well throughout life.

Becky said...

Ha, you're right! My work is done.

Lisa Lilienthal said...

She is total extravaganza to the nth degree. And all we've got over here is a gingerbread house that features the kids TPing the tree out front.

My Kids' Mom said...

My 10 yo downloaded clips of his list and made a very colorful printout collage of the items. He'd have provided SKU numbers if I'd asked. He does know what is on what page of the Lego magazine (and let's be honest, that is NOT a magazine, it is a CATALOG).

Amy said...

"One of the universe's most extravagant creations" might be the best line of the holiday season. Or any other, really.

Methinks ALL y'all won the lottery. Peace & joy in abundance... xoxo

Keely said...

I love your child. I haven't met her, but I'm in love. She will be a benevolent and kind overlord.

Ginny Marie said...

So brilliant! Merry Christmas!

Beth said...

That is pure brilliance. Next year, though, she has to bring the presentation on an iPad and present it to a Santa somewhere.

Amy said...

CHRISTMAS FOREVERRRR!! I love this--I've been waiting to see this power point for weeks now. Laura is awesome. And you're so right--I often have those moments where I realize how indulged and fortunate my kids are...but you have to admire the moxie! The chutzpah!!

Laura for President.

Star said...

Wonderful post! Kudus to Laura for her presentation and double kudus to you two for your parenting. She's starting life with one of the universe's most precious gifts: a healthy dose of self-confidence. Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year!

Elle said...

Omg, I got so caught up in our exchange, I forgot to comment on what you wrote.

This is making me think a lot of thoughts about parenting & extraversion & St Francis. How maybe I need to meet more, different sorts of children -- because L seems lovely & clever & well-loved, as usual, but thinking of this & how it would be received in our house is making me think a lot of things. Thank you, for painting with yr brush. Merry Christmas. Travel safely. xx

Becky said...

Elle, I think I know what you mean. Viewed in a certain light, which is to say, viewed in light, her sense of entitlement is breathtaking! Or you know the other day, what you said about feeling "eligible" for the good things in the world, that.

I'm thinking that if she continues along the track I followed, her acquisitive nature will be tempered by life AND she'll learn to hide it better, and/or she will work on it in her heart all her life. As others have done. xo

Aviva said...

Wow! the Power Point presentation of her wish list is impressive! :) I'm already a little scared of what she's going to do when she's grownup; I think your daughter could quite possibly run the world before she's 30. :-)

So how did Santa do with that list?

Elizabeth - FlourishinProgress said...

I would just be putty in any child's hand that served resfreshments.

Which is probably why Cal has a fancy new charm bracelet today.

I hope you had a wonderful weekend.

gretchen said...

That girl is SOMETHING ELSE! Totally a girl after my own heart. I thought Jude was being clever by sucking up to Santa telling him he liked his "jolly look", and Santa certainly didn't need to go on a diet. But a POWERPOINT presentation? Brilliance!