Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Gentlemen, We Can Rebuild Her

I will be saying "boob" a lot in this post.

Tomorrow is my implant swap surgery, where Dr. Hottie McTrottie will take out this tissue expander thing I've had ever since my mastectomy and put in a proper implant. This will be on the right side. The left side will remain in its pristine natural state.

Is this way more than you want to know? Here's some more: I'm also having a nipple reconstruction. How does that work, you ask? I am usually a very informed patient and all, but I have just absolutely no idea how she'll do that. Possibly it could involve that fun polymer clay you get at Michael's. We'll see.

I'm nervous about all this, I admit. Not so much about the being put to sleep and operated on, because just like flying in a plane, I don't think about it that much. I'm nervous because I'm worried that I won't like the outcome.

It's not that my boob looks so awesome now. There is plenty of room for improvement, and the feel of the tissue expander is not great. But the way it looks now was never meant to be an aesthetically satisfactory thing. It was just the way it was. It's been a year and I've gotten used to it.  I think it looks basically okay and Matt thinks it looks great, and that has been that. But now, the purpose of this procedure tomorrow is to produce a cosmetically pleasing result that I will be satisfied to live with for a long time. So I'm worried that it won't turn out that way, you know? I just really have no idea how it will be.

Also, I wish that the general anesthesia could take effect right now because I really don't want to go upstairs and shave my legs and get all pretty for the surgical team to gaze upon. I have already planned my panties though. Now is THAT more than you wanted to know?

I'll keep you posted. I'm giving you a hug.

B

32 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I'm hugging you right back. And saying a prayer for you tomorrow -- that all goes well and that the results are perfectly pleasing.

Veronica said...

It will look fabulous. Hugs.

jo said...

Good luck for your op...wishing you the best boobs ever!

Amy said...

Hugging you too!

I was there with you last year, it was only a couple weeks after your mastectomy, and you'd just started chemo. Reconstruction seemed such a long way away! I'm amazed that a year has passed. You're a star!

Xoxo

Star said...

Thank you so much for sharing. Big big hugs to you, too.

Jenni said...

Your new boob will be glorious.

Hugs to you as well. You are so strong and have come so far this year. You are amazing.

Good luck, xo!

My Kids' Mom said...

I'm chuckling as I remember my co-worker prepping for this. She brought in a catalog of boobs and nipples. She had tissue from her belly become her boobs and was disappointed that she wasn't fat enough to be a c-cup! The nipple was sort of a twist of the tissue, then tattooed (yes, really) the right color to match. I never saw the finished product in person (remembering her, I'm surprised!) but I think she was happy- at age 50 she started dating a 25 yr old!

Common Household Mom said...

I hope all goes well. That was not Too Much Information for me (and I tend to be squeamish) but if you post a photo, THAT will be TMI.

Hootie said...

When they're mixing up the ink for the color-matched tattoo, I wonder if they have designer color series to choose from... like Martha Stewart's "Areollia" collection, or Tommy Hilfiger's "Patrierotic" palette. Keep us posted-- we're thinking about re-doing the den and we're looking for ideas.

xoxo

Michele said...

It is always good to decide on your surgery wardrobe. It is kind of like what your mother always said. Wear your good underwear just in case you are in an accident. This is just a planned accident.

I'm pretty sure it will look boobilicious.

kathy said...

You're in our thoughts and prayers! I know the outcome will be MARVELOUS!

janimal said...

All my best wishes for a speedy recovery and a wonderful result.

Hootie said...

Also... despite your opening sentence, you only used the word "boob" one other time in the post.

The Newly Mrs. said...

Best wishes for a very speedy recovery and that it looks fabulous!

Echo de Mumbles said...

It is NOT TMI. It is things that are actually very interesting to me. I can understand why you are worried about the outcome and not necessarily the procedure. Boooobies are a very feminine thing in a lot of ways. (I say "alot of ways" because...well - Moobies. Ew) Anywho, I will hope, pray, wish and do good boob dances for you on this end!

And it's ALWAYS important to do some personal landscaping on the legs and such with such procedures. And good drawers are important too.

Mary said...

sending you a hug right back. along with lots of prayers!

nova said...

In the tattoo shop I work at, my boss does a lot of nipple coloring-in work for ladies who have had their boobs re-built after mastectomies. It's really cool that you can have a sense of humor and talk about it like you are. I wish you a painless-as-possible experience!

Camp Papa said...

Becky is back at home, now. All is well. Thanks for prayers and well wishes

Elizabeth-Flourish in Progress said...

Hugs to you.

It's going to look awesome. And a nipple? Double awesome.

Jane said...

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I understand your nervousness, but I have faith everything will turn out fine.

Michele R said...

I am so happy for you that so much is behind you and that the expander is out of you! Feel better soon!

Keely said...

Next time I see you I expect to get a hug with new-boob pressing.

(I don't expect to see it. THAT would be TMI.)

AM said...

I really really hope you get a good new boob and that you like it. If tattooing is involved, could we please have info on that? This is very interesting.

gretchen said...

I bikini waxed before I went into labor. Because...well, because. You are going to be excellent. You know I have vibes about this kind of thing. You know it's funny, I have been with you, in person and everything, and I don't think it ever occurred to me to check out your rack and try to figure out which one was "the one". They must both look lovely.

gretchen said...

Oh wait, did I hug you back? I think I forgot. Well, HUGS.

missynall said...

Hugs right back at 'cha!

Sjn said...

saying prayers for you girl! Hope this is the last of it, and you'll be back to normal and forever cancer free.

Stephanie said...

Good luck on your surgery. I wussed out when they got to the 'tattoo' part and went with the lumpectomy instead. I hope it's a quick recovery for you! PS love the sassy curly hairdo!

KathyS said...

Yay for boob newness! I'm sure it's chesticle fantastique -- and I hope you're feeling wonderful now that that's over.

Kathleen said...

Hi there,

I have a question about your site, would you mind emailing me back @ kthomas@primroseschools.com?

Thanks,
Kathleen

Stephanie said...

Thinking of you. <3

A Day That is Dessert said...

You've been in my thoughts, Becky. xoxo