I will be saying "boob" a lot in this post.
Tomorrow is my implant swap surgery, where Dr. Hottie McTrottie will take out this tissue expander thing I've had ever since my mastectomy and put in a proper implant. This will be on the right side. The left side will remain in its pristine natural state.
Is this way more than you want to know? Here's some more: I'm also having a nipple reconstruction. How does that work, you ask? I am usually a very informed patient and all, but I have just absolutely no idea how she'll do that. Possibly it could involve that fun polymer clay you get at Michael's. We'll see.
I'm nervous about all this, I admit. Not so much about the being put to sleep and operated on, because just like flying in a plane, I don't think about it that much. I'm nervous because I'm worried that I won't like the outcome.
It's not that my boob looks so awesome now. There is plenty of room for improvement, and the feel of the tissue expander is not great. But the way it looks now was never meant to be an aesthetically satisfactory thing. It was just the way it was. It's been a year and I've gotten used to it. I think it looks basically okay and Matt thinks it looks great, and that has been that. But now, the purpose of this procedure tomorrow is to produce a cosmetically pleasing result that I will be satisfied to live with for a long time. So I'm worried that it won't turn out that way, you know? I just really have no idea how it will be.
Also, I wish that the general anesthesia could take effect right now because I really don't want to go upstairs and shave my legs and get all pretty for the surgical team to gaze upon. I have already planned my panties though. Now is THAT more than you wanted to know?
I'll keep you posted. I'm giving you a hug.