Numerous Updates

*Now even MORE updated. See below.

1) Hank pooped in the potty again. Oh boy howdy did he ever. So I am feeling a glimmer of hope that he may one day have full toilet capabilities. And maybe I will stop typing the word "poop" so much.

2) The neighbors and our warming planet: hmmm, yeah, in the comments on the last post, Keely wondered whether they just weren't articulating their point, because as she says, all global weather is getting totally weird. Colder winters, hotter summers, mondo killer hurricanes, plagues of toads. I don't think their understanding of the issue is that nuanced, because I left out the part where they went on to bash Al Gore. I mean, really? Bashing Al Gore? The time to do that, if you were inclined to, was back in 2007 (?) when he won the Nobel Prize and the Emmy and the Oscar and the Grammy and the Tony. And also I think there was a Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval at some point. Bashing him now just makes you seem out of date. (As well as totally DAFT.) Al Gore is in my personal Wonk Hotty Pantheon, too, and any affection I ever had for John Edwards has been transferred right back to Gore. But oh goodness, that is a whole 'nother post.

3) The search for the Goldilocks of swimsuits: Maybe it's that I'm moving, every year, more into the target market for Lands End, but I did really like their swimwear this year. In the previous post's comments, Veronica suggested looking to them for some coordinating but more flattering bottoms. So I did, but they don't seem to make anything but those Barbara Bush leg openings (thanks Lawyer Mom!), or ones that are even more modest. Like, think Queen Elizabeth. They come with little gloves. The one honest-to-god pair of bikini bottoms they had were totally wrong for the tankini I got. But I did what every magazine is telling us to do and "shopped my own closet," and I think an old pair of J Crew bottoms I have, in a bright blue, will work.

I laughed when I got that tankini, because my sister and I used to joke at the catalogue descriptions of Lands End bathing suits. In addition to the suits for specific body shapes (Are you a triangle? A rectangle? A starfish??), the copy promises that they'll all "fool the eye," or "bring the eye up to your face," or "keep the eye moving so nobody will see the junk in your trunk!" Have you ever noticed that? Pick up the catalogue and you'll see what I mean. And I think this tankini was designed to do the same. The paisley pattern confuses the eye so much, you can't tell if I'm fat or thin, far or near, or whether I'm even in the same dimensional plane. You might not even be able to see me, or I might look like something else, like a mailbox, or a fern. It's that good.

4) Laura and the teaser: Sigh. Today she said that the teasing was still going on, but was less, even though the kid now has an accomplice--another little boy who Laura says "thinks Michael is funny." She said her teacher had forgotten to deal with it today, and Laura didn't bring it up again until the end of the day. I asked her why she waited until dismissal, and she said she just didn't have a chance to speak to Ms. S privately until then. And she told me, "Last night I prayed to God that Michael would forget about teasing me." Yet it is kind of hard to tell how much it really bothers her. She acts so composed, always, and she really is a buoyant kid, no matter what is going on. She's like me. I am going to wait one more day to give Ms. S a chance to speak to Laura and the other child, and if it falls through the cracks, I'm going to send a nice email and say, "Hey, here's what I'm hearing at home--what's your classroom impression of the situation?" to jog her memory. I don't think such an email would make me the nightmare parent.

Hope y'all are having a good evening! I need to get out to the sunroom and see tonight's "Lost," but Matt is wrapped around our 46" TV watching the Celtics playoff game. I wish you could hear him hoot and squeal. Take my word for it, internets, it is really something.

* So Laura came home today, Thursday, and said she thought that her teacher had spoken to Michael first thing in the morning, before Laura was there. Ms. S also moved Laura to another table (she had been sitting near Michael all day long). Laura said Michael didn't tease her today, "and didn't tease any girls at all, period," and she spent the day happily surrounded by her girl posse. So I don't need to go up there and open up a can, I guess. Thanks, y'all, for the sympathy and for sharing your stories.