Numerous Issues

1) Well, I was beginning to wonder if that Praisallujah was premature. After Hank did us the favor of doing a poop in the potty, he did not repeat that performance for TWO WEEKS. He basically began stalling and withholding, then sneaking a poop when I had to put a diaper on him. This was in spite of the sticker chart, candy bribes, and lots of serious exhortation on the benefits of potty-use and the distastefulness of big boys pooping in diapers. I mean, you know how people say, "Oh ho! There aren't many kindergartners in diapers!" I thought, "Well world, meet Hank." It was clear that he had a serious reluctance to do it. And I had started to back off. Then yesterday, we knew he had to go, and Matt told him in no uncertain terms to go use the potty. And he did. It seems that he only listens to his daddy about this. So I hope we are turning a corner, but I am by no means confident.

2) We finally met some new neighbors that have moved in up the street. Gene and Jean, an older couple. They both have white hair, but they're somewhere south of sixty. Matt saw them outside and walked over to introduce himself, and the kids/dog trailed after him, so I went outside and followed to complete the set. They seem friendly, and I am sure they will be good neighbors. The only notable moment in our initial encounter was the revelation that they don't believe global warming is real. I was blabbing about the weather and about my personal heating and cooling challenges, and Jean said, "Well you know what's really happening with this global warming is that actually the world is getting colder." I said, "It is???" And she said, "Yep, we had a cold winter here." I said, "Yes, it was chilly. In winter."

Again, this doesn't make them bad neighbors, by any means. But I feel as though they placed the Neighbor Sorting Hat on their heads, and the Sorting Hat said, "Hmmm, harmless BUT DAFT!" Matt, always the nicer one, later said, "Well, you know, they're old." I'm like, is the fact of global warming a generational thing? Like being against gay marriage, or typing emails in all caps?

3) The other day I bought this bathing suit from Lands End. It is actually three pieces--a tankini and a skirt. I was looking for something with a matching cover-up, in case I wanted to keep the package wrapped.

It is cute, but when the skirt comes off, the bottoms are kind of too modest to be flattering. It's the low leg opening thing all over again. I want to be able to wear the little skirt when I'm chasing Hank around the pool, but I don't want to look like Grandma Moses when I take it off. So I need some bottoms that are a little more revealing. I went to Old Navy and bought some in a solid color that I thought would match, but when I tried them on at home, they were too revealing. Like, misdemeanor revealing. So I need some bikini bottoms that are not too modest and not too immodest. Yes, my ass is like Goldilocks.

4) Yesterday Laura got off the school bus, and I could tell she was troubled. She was wearing her monogram necklace with a letter 'L' on it. She said that the class had been practicing their lines for a play, while the teacher was out of the room. And every time she started to say a line, a little boy named Michael would yell, "L is for LOSER!" She said, "By the end my face was as red as an apple."

I opened my mouth to share the age-old wisdom that he was just trying to get her attention and didn't know how to do it, just ignore him, boys will be boys, and then I thought, what are we telling our daughters when we say that? Like, "Oh, so he's harassing me because he likes me. So I feel less harassed now?" Where does that thinking lead? I think it says: Males act, and then it's up to the female to react and manage his actions. That's junk, and I'm never going to say that again. So I told her to tell him, "Michael, you're acting like a doofus, and nobody thinks you're funny. If you don't shut your mouth, I'll tell the teacher." She considered this and then said, "Mom, don't you think that's a little rude?" Sigh.

Update: today she got off the bus and told me that he'd kept up his teasing all day, and that she'd finally worked up her nerve to tell her teacher. She said, "I used your word, I said 'Michael is harassing me.'" And her teacher said they'd talk to him tomorrow. She said her teacher asked her, "Did this start today?" And Laura said, "No, I waited a day to see if I could handle it myself." For some reason, she was very, very reluctant to even bring it up with her teacher. Like she is embarrassed by it, and doesn't want to tattle. Being a kid is hard.

That is what we've got brewing today. I will be linking to Keely's Random Tuesday Thoughts now, because I haven't exactly painted you a beautiful picture of the totality of life here, ya know? How are y'all?