Picture Some Sort of Thelma & Louise Situation Probably

Tomorrow I am leaving for Las Vegas. My friends Erika and David and I heard that an academic conference we like was going to be there, and we were all, "Oh surely we can come up with SOMETHING to say at that thing, we gots lotsa idears." We proposed a panel, it was accepted, and we are Vegas bound. So really it will probably be like Thelma and Louise, if they had had better educational opportunities, and a gayer, better-dressed Brad Pitt, and instead of driving into the void, we'll write devastatingly witty things in our conference notes. "Oh no she DIDN'T just confuse fabula and syuzhet. Bitch please!"

Don't you hate that you're going to miss that?

The thing is at Harrah's, and we're staying there. I have never been to that hotel, and I'm a little disappointed that it's not one of the places that has indoor sea battles or a chocolate volcano or something. I'm sure we'll find some fun though.

Now, the mom types among you know that it is far from a trivial matter to get away from one's home and children for multiple days, when schooling and activities must continue in one's absence and one's husband must also continue to do productive work. Unfortunately, all of my children's grandparents are living their own lives in other places, and Matt will be on his own. He asked me for a written schedule of everything that needs to happen and everything he needs to remember from Thursday through Sunday morning. I'm including every detail and leaving nothing to chance.

And as I was composing this document, it dawned on me that I'll be gone on Friday, when Hank is supposed to wear a green shirt to school for St. Patrick's Day, and Matt will have to be in charge of that. And also Matt is color blind. So I'm leaving my five year-old baby likely to be dressed by his dad in a red or brown shirt and therefore vulnerable to the pinching that the Korean kids probably get. (They're like, St. What?)

So yes, I am laying out the clothing and writing on the schedule, "Hank PE day, needs tennis shoes. Also wear green! Green robot shirt on top of his chest of drawers!" Luckily I will be here to dress him in the morning because tomorrow is school spirit shirt day and Chick-fil-A lunch day, and I just don't think I could leave two separate memos about special shirts. I'm pretty sure it was that kind of needless system complexity that caused the Challenger explosion.

I am also pre-wrapping two birthday presents that I have pre-bought. Each child has a weekend bday party to attend. And Laura has a science project due on Friday (make a model of a cell out of edible materials? why for the love of Pete?) and she has a swim meet on Saturday afternoon, to which I am leaving directions.

They will have a blast, because he is the fun parent. And he really is.

And I bet I will have some fun too. I will pop in on the SubMat facebook page if something interesting happens or if I need bail money. Go "like" me on there if you might be willing to provide that.

Smacks!
B