Thursday, June 30, 2011

In Digest Form

Snowcone Summit Meeting
Snow cone meeting.
1) Tonight our neighborhood swim team had its end-of-season party up at the pool. It was pure mayhem. So many kids in the pool, so, so many. And the organizers had put about 100 beach balls into the water. They were flying everywhere, it was like being in a popcorn machine. Hank and I were sitting on the steps, and when a ball would come near him, he would toss it in the air and bounce it away. This woman waded toward us and said, "Can you not throw these? I'm trying to get them all in this area." I said, "Oh, why? What are you going to do with them?" She shrugged and said, "No reason, I guess I'm just a little OCD." I thought, "Wow, yes you are." But I said, "Hmm, I don't know if that's going to happen."

2) One of the swim moms presented the swim team director with a gift we had all chipped in for. The organizer is not the paid coach, but a mom who volunteers and who manages the coaches. And it's a lot of work. I laughed though, when they unveiled the gift: a Tervis tumbler crammed with wadded up ten-dollar bills, a bottle of vodka, and a tub of Crystal Light lemonade.

Pause that refreshes.

3) Also at the swim party, the mom of Hank's friend saw me and started heading in my direction, calling out, "I have got the dirtiest book to give you!"

Best conversational opener ever. Ever.

4) I can't believe the neighborhood swim season is already over. It is short, but intense. Laura had meets last Thursday, Saturday (that was the big all-county meet down at Georgia Tech), and last night. Three inside a week. I think it's a great activity, both as a social thing and as a sport for these kids. When I'm standing with her at the start of a race, and the whistle blows and she dives off the block and swims away, my face squinches up like I'm about to start crying. Only it's a happy squinching. And a proud squinching. Then I yell myself hoarse. "Go go GO GO!" I love watching her swim.

This does not mean that I can't also bitch about how hot it is at the meets and how they last four hours and ohmigod the sweating. Last night I took a can of cold beer from my neighbor's cooler and held it with my crotch.

That image should be on our Christmas cards.

5) Hot. So hot, like hell is hot. Upstairs AC unit seems to be losing the fight.

Denial on this issue should last one more day or so. But by then I will be in the mountains where (I hope) it is cooler.

6) Laura has a friend sleeping over, the girl from that troublesome sleepover. Cue ominous organ music! This is the first time we've had her over since that time. Her mom called me today and asked if Laura would like to sleep over at their house, and I steered the plan around to my doing the hosting instead. The other mom agreed with this idea, saying, "Yes, that way they'll have more room." Which was a weird moment because she lives in a huge house in Fancy Land, but from what I've seen her house is borderline-hoarder cluttered. So I didn't know if she was acknowledging her clutter issue or if it was just meaningless conversational padding.

When the little girl arrived, we were all chatting for a moment about how late the kids are staying up now that it's summer, blah blah, and the mom said, "Oh, I can't do it. I go to bed before them." Meaning her ten and thirteen year-olds. And the little girl said, "My brother and I stay up 'til two!" And I said, "Gracious!" But I thought it was all symptomatic of a certain loosey-gooseyness over there. Anyhoo.

7) Speaking of routine, it is time for Mama to watch "The Wire."

That was my day, in part. What are you doing?


Kate said...

wow! your swim season is over. we are in the thick of it, and from what it sounds like, just as sweaty. i need a crotch beer! love The Wire, particularly the season about "Education". that was heart-wrenching.

Michele R said...

There is so much in this post I am hyperventilating trying to decide where to start.
1). So cool about the swim team. Go Laura!
2). Do I need to know the name of this dirty book? I have time now you know.
3). Loosey-goosey indeed. If the kids are gonna stay up late (um, it is almost midnight here and all 5 are going strong) then at least the parents should be those ages.
4). I looked up The Wire on Netflix after you mentioned it before -- do I start with season 1 from 2003. 2003!! Where have I been?

Aimee said...

-Our swim season started this week...but we only got out of school on June 22. When we moved here from Gwinnett Co. in 2009, the kids had the LONGEST summer break ever!

-Our swim season is not sweaty. I was wearing a hoodie and almost-but-not-quite shivering at the pool this afternoon. Welcome to Seattle. (Definitely beats the sweating.)

-My best friend and her kids were at the meet at Ga. Tech last week, too, I bet. You probably saw each other. Small world.

-I lived in the dorms across from the pool at Ga. Tech while they were building the Natatorium for the Olympics. I can't see a photo of that building or hear someone talk about it without hearing the BEEP-BEEP-BEEP of backing-up construction equipment in my mind.

-Yes, you must share the name of the book.

-2 am????? Gracious, indeed...

Elizabeth said...

I'm sitting in my bathrobe, waiting for the dryer to finish the towels so I can take a shower for the first time in three days. No joke. :)

This post brought me back to my swim team days in Atlanta at the Huntcliff pool. My gosh, it was fun. Do the kids still eat raw jello from the box "for energy?"

Anonymous said...

Thirded: share the smut.

Becky said...

Yes, she got me all interested and then it turned out she was talking about that Go The Fuck To Sleep book! I was disappointed!

Raw jello? Hilarious. I could get Laura to start that fad up again. I tell you, the idea of wearing a hoodie in the summer is so wonderful right now. I've said to the other swim parents that neighborhood swim league should be in October. All the pools are heated anyway.

And Michele, you should watch The Wire now that you have more time. Give yourself three episodes to get into it. It's like a great novel, seriously. And I say that as someone who is kind of a snob. You will love it.

If anyone has an actual dirty book they want to recommend, we're all ears!

Star said...

What an enjoyable post! I really felt like I was there. You're an excellent writer.
So kind of you to ask what we're doing. If I'm not working my butt off at my regular job and my at home extras (translations, book editing), and if the weather cooperates, I head out with my camera to take pics (for example,
Here are some gorgeous wings in Milan to carry you through your week (
Thanks so much for letting me share my day, too!

Anonymous said...

I absolutely go to bed before my 10- & 12-year-old. Are their teeth brushed? Are their feet washed? Great. Stay up all night going to the bathroom & sipping all the water you want, or whatever the hell else! I'm going the fuck to sleep.

The dirtiest book I ever read was Goodbye, Janette, from the illustrious Harold Robbins. I was prob 14, which is why our house is a hard-core, no-smut zone. Sex, sure; adult humans do that, we hope. Unedited sssssssssmut? About bondage + bootlickings + porn stars + felchers & fluffers? No.

Anonymous said...

Elle, I grew up on Harold Robbins but obviously my close reading skills lack because I just had to Google felchers. I always preferred Lace anyway.

Becky said...

Oh lord, googling "felcher" is not something you wanna do! LOL.

I think that policy on smut sounds very sensible. I also don't think Laura's friend is up late sipping water. More like running through the neighbor's back yard.

Star, gorgeous pic as always!

We had a quiet night here, with no window exiting, and today they're at a water park.

And speaking of smut, I had the most hilarious dream. In it I was in my house and I needed to make a phone call, but the only phone I had was a huge dildo phone. Very lifelike looking. So I needed to make this call but I didn't want my mother-in-law to see the phone so I hid it behind a pillow. Discuss.

gretchen said...

1. I'm thinking of getting Jude started on the whole swim team path. The season is just now starting here. Because it's been so COLD. I'm sorry, was I complaining about our temperate climate? Wasn't that unkind of me?
2.I LOVE that gift idea. Cash and vodka. Excellent.
3. Great line. Sorry the book ended up less great than the line. I too was raised on Harold Robbins. And Jackie Susann. Now that was some good literature.
4. See 1
5. See 1
6. Weird.
7. You're inspiring me to go on a Wireathon. Right after I finish all those British mystery shows I'm watching. Love. Them.

Anonymous said...

Oh, well, mine are locked in & there is an alarm, so zzzZzzzzzz, asleep. I used to stay awake until they were slumbering with their eyelashes pasted to their cheeks. And then they just started being fitful & fisty till midnight and I don't like to stay up with them. For what? So, yk, get down off the cross, we can use the wood zzzZzzzz.

In response to Gretchen, I agree and refer everyone to The Love Machine, which is 100x more louche than Valley of the Dolls. Grimy!

M said...

I am avoiding melting by staying inside during this sauna-like holiday weekend where restaurants and residents are sucking Sam's Club dry of bottled water after a morbidly curious raccoon tangled with the water company's pump equipment and lost, leaving half a million people with a boil order until further notice.

Ah, the irony that your post would dwell on, well, large bodies of water and icy beverages like snow cones and vodka. ;)

Jenni said...

I am so ready for some Mountain Time.

Jenni said...

Can we make mohitos? Keely's drinking mohitos. We can pour one out in her honor.