Where's the Love?

Hank's preschool, which is run by a church, like all the good preschools around here, is right across the street from another church preschool. That one is the Big Red Church, while Hank goes to school at the Medium White Church. Hmm, "white church," I suppose it truly is. Oh ho ho. Anyway. Both preschools start at 9:30 in the morning, which means that the little road they both face must accommodate the simultaneous arrival of children for both schools: minivans bearing 500 kids turning off the big highway and getting into the car drop off lines. At Big Red Church, the one year-olds are dropped off on one side of the building, and the bigger kids are on the other side. At White Church, there's just one drop off line, but it's a one-way only loop. People are pouring onto the little road from the big highway, with some people U-turning to bring their one year-olds to the proper entrance of Big Red, and some people (poor souls) turning left into oncoming traffic to get into White Church's drop off line. Whatever, I only want you to understand that situation is best described as a total pigfuck. As we say in the South.

This morning, I had dropped Hank off and continued around the church to the exit, where I was waiting to turn left onto the little road that would take me back to the big highway. I was waiting patiently for an opening, as some people were still whizzing by to drop their kids off. Well, a woman in a gold Mercedes behind me was apparently upset that I was there waiting to turn left, as it prevented her from turning right onto the little road. Which she easily could have done if I hadn't been there, getting all in her way and ruining her morning. You see, in our universe, two objects cannot occupy the same place at precisely the same moment. And yet, there I was, at the front of the line, and she was behind me. So you see her problem. It has to do with physics.

I was admiring a flock of Canada geese that seem to be hanging around Medium White Church lately. They were all over the church lawn, bobbing and waddling. I was thinking, "Goose poop alert." Suddenly I heard a honking and a revving of an engine. Gold Mercedes zoomed around from behind me, flattening one of the little orange cones that the church puts up to keep people from turning in at the exit. As she cut narrowly in front of me, this lady gave me a really nasty look. I raised my hands in an exaggerated shrug, like a "WTH?" motion. And she stretched her right arm out towards me, perhaps to offer me a helpful hand gesture. But what happened is that she threw her cell phone against her passenger window. I could see it smack the glass as she careened away. I don't really know what was happening there. But how I wish her passenger window had been down.

This is one of my fellow parents at this Christian preschool. Sure lady, we don't know each other, but we are not all anonymous monads in our little bubbles. Maybe I'm not being fair. Maybe she had just spilled a beaker of acid in her lap. Or remembered that she hadn't set her tivo to record Regis and Kelly. But, could we all just relax a scoosh? And love on each other? As we say in the South.

Anyway, I gotta go brave the traffic to pick up his majesty. Goose poop alert! Have a good day and I hope y'all are feeling the love.