Come Back, Little Mowing Dude

Matt wound up sleeping at a Motel 6 in Spartanburg, South Carolina late last night, because he ran into major traffic delays between D.C. and home. I was like, "Honey, treat yourself to the Super 8! It's 2 more!" But he is a frugalisto. We always joke (in that way that jokes are totally true) that if he didn't have me and the kids, he'd be happy living under a bridge. The Motel 6 is like Xanadu to him.

So while he was making his way home this morning, and I was starting my day with the kids. some switch in my head flipped and I was like, "Okay, the business of today is to find someone to cut the grass and deep clean the house like RIGHT NOW, immeejitly." You know how you can just sometimes feel very urgent about something that isn't actually a matter of life and death? I just wanted it done, son. As I mentioned yesterday, Matt wants us to get the house cleaner back, so I got right on that, and I thought I'd also get someone to come do the yard, just this once, so he didn't have to do it. And the grass was getting so long that I sensed an HOA howler coming our way. (True story: Laura and Hank made a playhouse out of a big box last week, complete with mail slot. Laura made fake mail for them to receive, and all the pieces of mail were bills and HOA letters.)

Well, you'd think it wouldn't be that hard to get someone to agree to come and do our grass. All my neighbors use big chemical services who also cut grass, and I just wanted a dude to mow. Like a lone dude. So I got a bunch of numbers on Craigslist and called them. I was like, "You sir, good day! I am in possession of money that I would like to exchange for your mowing services! If you would do me the honor of coming 'round to my place. . .what's that? Such much? A contract, you say? Well surely our word as gentlefolk. . .I see. Very well. And best wishes in all of your endeavors too, Chad."

So that's how that went. I finally found one young entrepreneur who agreed to come out. And he did, looking all of about 14 years old. Though he was driving and he does own a business, so he must be an adult? He said that he would cut the whole yard for $35, but he didn't have time to trim our big hydrangea bush because he had a doctor's appointment. I said, "That's fine, Mitch, just do what you can." He mowed, and I could see him dumping the grass clippings in a bag, and then he got in his truck and drove away. Without coming to the door to get paid. Huh? I was on the phone, and I could see him climb into his truck, and I thought maybe he was going to prepare a little invoice or something, and then he was gone.

So I called his cell and left a message saying, "Hey Mitch, you didn't get your money!" I don't know if he had to rush to his appointment or what. But I feel bad. He just seemed so young and vulnerable, or something. I'm going to call him again tomorrow, if he doesn't show back up, and I'm going to hound that kid until he gets his $35. Weird. I told my friend that it felt kind of like the ding-dong ditch, if the person who rang your bell also mowed your lawn.

I also had four conversations with house cleaners, including my old cleaner Bobbi, but I'll save that for another post. And OMG, the mountain of laundry I did today. The absolute Kilimanjaro of laundry. Last night I was dumping it over the landing from upstairs, down onto the living room floor. The load from my bedroom was so big that when it hit the hardwood floor, the booming sound woke up my child.

Hope y'all are easing into your week.