Here are a couple that come to mind:
1) I no longer turn off my phone during take-off and landing. I always suspected this was kind of bogus--the idea that my phone could interfere with the navigational and control systems of the airplane--and then an episode of "Mythbusters" confirmed it. There could be no higher authority than "Mythbusters." I abhor busywork in all its forms, and powering off electronic devices is busywork. Sometimes I toggle the little switch in my iphone settings to airplane mode, and sometimes I don't even do that.
2) I no longer soak beans. Who knows that they want to eat beans a day in advance? I am not gifted with this power of bean planning. So I just cook the crap out of them and it works fine.
And A Rule I Would Never Break:
1) No parking in handicapped parking unless you, yourself, are handicapped. At times I have known people--some of them were even members of my extended family--who gamed the system to get one of those handicapped parking tags without actually being disabled, or took advantage of the fact that they were driving in such a car to park in the handicapped spaces. That is the worst kind of laziness. I don't believe in hell, but probably just living their selfish lives is punishment enough.
Apparently I feel quite strongly about this.
Now, ON THE OTHER HAND, you know those fake cutesy spots at Kroger and other places that are marked "Expectant Mother Parking?" I sometimes interpret that broadly to mean "Mothers of Small Children and Women Who Are Feeling Harried."
And what about you, what rules don't apply to you, little miss?
Monday, January 17, 2011
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27 comments:
I don't wait 15 minutes after eating to go swimming, nor do I make my children follow this rule. I also let my kids like the spoon when I baking a cake, raw eggs and all. I also flush baby wipes down the toilet with reckless abandon.
Rules I always follow: Crossing the street in a crosswalk (when there is one) and always looking both ways; waiting in line; returning library books on time.
The guys on Car Talk say you should get an oil change every 5000 miles, so now I drive past the mileage on the little sticker the garage gives me (which tells me to come in right at the 3000 mile mark) with reckless abandon. Then, at around 4000 miles, I start to panic.
I let my kids put the raw spaghetti that falls on the floor in their mouth and know that they won't get worms.
I've always had a problem with authority, so I'm generally not a big rule follower, anyway. Except for that disabled parking thing -- and you know what I mean about that --
V, I think it's even longer that you can go, with newer cars. Seems like I read that and that the jiffy lube places are trying to combat that info.
Jenni, I worry for your plumbing. You're scaring us with your lawless ways!
Hmmm...I know after I write this I'll think of better ones...
My rule breakers:
- my bra and panties NEVER match. (Does that count or is that just TMI?)
- I end sentences with prepositions
- Sometimes I have chocolate for breakfast
- I like to walk on the grass
- I eat super fast
Rules I do follow:
- I always wave when someone lets me in traffic.
- I say THANKYOU all the time.
- I give up my seat to others who need it more (and glare at the folks who didn't)
If cell phone signals were actually dangerous, cells would never be allowed in carry-on luggage (a la guns). What's true is that cell signals could interfere with cell signals on the ground. What's truer is that cells phone could fly out of someone's hands and really injure somebody in the case of severe turbulence--a risk that's greatest at take-off and landing. That's why the airline's lawyers want them stowed.
PS - The other day at the mall I parked in the expectant mother spot.
i do that telephone thing too - the first time i just forgot and then when the plane didn't crash, i figured i was in the clear. i never preheat the oven, squeeze toothpaste from the middle, and i routinely forget to refrigerate ketchup after opening.
i always let a person with one item ahead of me at the grocery, hold doors open for the person behind me, and look both ways before crossing.
I refrigerate bananas. And no longer worry if my eggs haven't been.
And I always rsvp. And have only one word for those who don't. Four letters, starts with R...
Best rule I ever made up:
Water stays in the tub or you get out of the tub.
Best rule I made myself follow even when it was tempting not to:
No crying over spilled milk.
Check my facts but I have it on good authority that Toyotas actually benefit from 3000 mile oil changes---for engine performance and life.
I don't use my turn signal unless there is someone behind me and I'm not in a turn-only lane. My husband puts his on to turn into the driveway- I can't be bothered.
I eat raw cookie dough whenever possible, and I like my eggs runny and my steaks rare.
I always encourage my children to eat food from the floor so I won't have to sweep.
I always wear my bite plate to sleep b/c the dentist scared me into it.
I always, always rsvp right away.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I just rip those DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW tags right off of everything.
ha! i used to use that "parking for mothers of small children" at the gym all the time. Define "small". It's subjective. Like Amy, I RSVP. I never, ever send an important message (birth, death, that sort of thing, via facebook messaging). I write a letter.
When they were small I let my kids eat raw cookie dough.
I stopped worrying about "bad" words in movies when they were 14 or 15. I figured if they hadn't heard a particular swear word come out of my mouth the film would actually be a teaching moment we would all benefit from.
(seriously) I didn't censor their reading. If they wanted to read it and could manage the vocabulary they were allowed to read the book.
I always without fail drive past the milage on the sticker because I'm a rebel like that.
Like Janimal I let people in the flow of traffic, I wave and say thanks when the favor is returned to me. I believe this traffic karma is why I usually get rockstar parking without snagging the pregnant parking places.
One of us would have to be impaled on a stick and bleeding to death before I parked in a handicap place without the appropriate stickers and permission.
I never return my cart to the cart corral at the store (unless it's right beside the car). I put half full cans of food into the fridge, my Mom said that would cause botulism or something but I'm still alive. I let my kids eat snacks in the store that we haven't paid for yet. I routinely take all of the jelly, ketchup packets, napkins etc. from restaurants, however I am a great tipper and I never go to bed or let my kids without brushing teeth and in my world that makes me darn near perfect.
The amount of rules I break (or, alternatively, am completely unaware of) on a regular basis would probably alarm you and your fair readers, so let's just say I would never park in the h/c parking either.
Unless, of course, it was winter and I couldn't see the symbol painted on the ground. See? I DIDN'T KNOW.
I don't turn off my mobile phone whilst in hospitals... the doctors all have theirs on!
Good point, Jo! I wondered about that. After I had my surgery, I was in my room and there was a little sign that said, "Cell phone use prohibited," and I was like, what am I supposed to do? I've forgotten how to use one of those rotary dial things.
You guys are emboldening me with your confessions. You should see my stash of ketchup and soy sauce packets!
Becky, good shout out about no bean soaking. They do really well in a crockpot and many cups of water. However, I did hear that soaking overnight takes something out of them that causes gas, and well, with 4 guys in the house it is an experiment I may have to try.
I always smuggle in my (and my kids) own boxes of candy and juice/water in my purse into the movie theater. But I don't talk during the film and I do silence my phone and I go crazy insane if I hear anyone not following those rules.
Great post and comments!
I don't like to slightly beat an egg in a separate dish just to dirty another dish. I throw the egg into the recipe and just stir it all up in hopes that it will distribute evenly.
I do not let my children ride out of their car seats, it doesn't matter how short the trip or how loud the scream. After my 6 month old survived a horrendous rollover accident in his car seat I can not justify this one under any circumstances, although I know people that will on occasion.
These are great! Bean planning--who has time for that anyway?
Um, I let my kids jump on the bed. Sometimes I let them have ice cream--BEFORE DINNER. Wait--maybe that's why they're always wanting to jump on the bed. I need to go and think about this some more.
Also? Totally with you on the no parking in the disabled parking. Not cool.
Okay, I may shoot you a really dirty look these days in that Wal Mart parking lot. Being 36 weeks pregnant and HUGE (not to mention my little guys head is already in the birth canal), I dread walking long distances. I joked with my friend the other day, telling her I wanted to wait next to those minivans parked in the stork parking and verify that they were in fact prego (and if not, I would politely inform them they took "my" parking spot). Nough said. ;)
Great post. Look at all of this convo you've stirred up =).
Okay Crystal! You have put a face on this issue for me, and sometimes that's all it takes. I will mend my ways!
Thank you kindly ;).
I'm with you on the handicapped parking and also the expectant mom spots. My FIL (when he was alive) had a handicapped tag and was totally capable of walking but wouldn't. Then he had a heart attack and died so maybe he should have parked further and walked more. Hmm, that seemed mean.
Not exactly a rule per se but once I turned 40 I decided to give cash as gifts for most occasions. I bought a bunch of those little red Chinese envelopes and put the money in there to make it more festive. The economy sucks so who is going to be mad, hurt etc at a cash give nowadays?
You know, you can always do the "quick soak" method they mention on the package. Just saying.
I fear that I am a fickle and haphazard rule follower/breaker. Probably a poor example to my child. I tend to vehemently, rigidly follow all rules. Unless I don't want to. Jude is a total narc. "MAma!! You're not supposed to make a U-turn!", "Mama!! We're supposed to cross at the crosswalk!!" "Mama!! You're not supposed to wear white after Labor DAy!!" Okay, that last one was a joke.
The "high efficiency vehicle," parking spots at Best Buy. That is the opposite of where the highest efficiency cars need to park.
Besides, what can they do? Best Buy does not have a patrol force capable of handling me.
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