Suburban Matron is One, Y'all

Today is Suburban Matron's first birthday. My blog is officially a toddler! And sleeping through the night and everything. I started this blog one lovely day last April, when some random cosmic ray struck my skull and made me think of doing it. In retrospect, it's odd that I haven't been blogging since the dawn of blogtime, 'cause Lord do I love to talk. Talkin' and sayin' words, all the livelong day, that's me. I am still surprised and totally delighted that anyone besides my blood relations reads this. Bloggy friends, I wish you were with me right now so that I could share some of my bloggy birthday cake with you. Which, let's be honest, is actually a big stack of Ritz crackers.

And because of my profound narcissism, as well as the fact that Dooce did it so it must be okay, I am doing a little round-up of some of my favorite posts from the past year. Some of these are by request, some of them probably only I like, and ONE of them is my most favoritest post I ever wrote. See if you can guess which one. It recounts an incident that, even while it was happening to me, made me think, "Thank GOD I have a blog or I would DIE." So I would call these My Greatest Hits, except even typing that makes me gag on my Ritz.

So take a little time and click around. And hey, if you read here sometimes but have never commented, maybe comment and say "Hi," so I can know who else I'm scarfing crackers for. Muchas smooches, friends!


May 2008
Summer, Day 1
I went to Target and got some products for Matt's sunburn. When I came home he was sitting shirtless in front of a box fan and making terrible, miserable noises of misery.

June 2008
In Which My True Nature is Revealed
I know there are some reasons that "gated communities" are thought of with disdain, and supposedly they have some soul-deadening properties, but right now I can't remember what they are.

June 2008
Service Call
Alisa the handywoman arrived a while ago. She had a real tool belt and a flashlight and sturdy socks on. While I was standing in the kitchen telling her about the problem, I thought, “This woman is totally checking me out. I still got it!”

July 2008
Finery
Many times, Matt has arrived at a destination with nothing in his suitcase but board games and socks that were put in to cushion the board games.

August 2008
Well, That Was Awkward
So while it wasn't super comfortable to be sharing the room with Marge, neither Mom nor I minded much. Then, while I was talking to my sister on the cell phone, Marge let out a trumpeting poot on the other side of the curtain.

September 2008
Maybe a Little Less Conversation
I had just walked up to the bus stop to find only the German au pair and this grandmother. So that you can share in how I had my very life force sapped this afternoon, here is our word-for-word dialogue.

October 2008
Four Conversations with My Neighbors
And now, she's using the skin of the bear that her dead husband shot to adorn the walls of her new husband's man cave.

November 2008
We Are Not Navy SEALs: A Thanksgiving Story
Amy got into position, and I yelled, “Go! Go! Dive!” while she rolled out the door and ran around behind the car. I took off again in a spray of gravel while Amy pulled up her hood and crouched behind a tree.

December 2008
Cracking Wise
I think it's good that we didn't pursue the gifted program last year.

December 2008
Shorties Were Sipping
The kids were checking out their goody bags, and I was picking up piles of tissue paper, when a mom got right in front of me and said, "Maybe next time, the kids could all have the same toy. Some of them are unhappy with what they got."

January 2009
I’m Going To Rock Your World. With Foil.
Turns out we’ve been totally doing it wrong.

February 2009
Neighbors at Dusk: A Play in One Act
Mindy: Well, I better get in the house, because my supper is all ready in the kitchen, and if Danica's alone with it, she might take some of it.

March 2009
Things Not To Say
I'd like to make a series of recommendations.