Shorties Were Sipping

The second-grade Christmas party was today, and a good time was had by all. Definitely the place to see and be seen at 8:30 this morning. I was there at 8:15 WEARING MAKEUP, armed with a proper tablecloth and supplies for our crazy "Dress Your Santa" game (all the hot details on that below, as well as a special party installment of OMG You Did Not Just Say That.)

This event only had three components: Food, craft, and game. Since it was so early and the kids still had to eat lunch at 11:30, we did a breakfast party. One mom brought bagels and three kinds of cream cheese. And she didn't just bring in the tubs. Please! She decanted them into little serving bowls that fit on a metal rack, and had little Santa spreaders in each. I heartily approved of that. We also had fruit and mini muffins and two juices. And peanut butter. That was all, but you would have thought it was ambrosia. The kids were happy. Like this.

The kids decorated huge gingerbread men that another mom had brought. This doubled as their craft, and we bagged 'em up for them to take home. Before the party, the class had done a creative writing exercise about gingerbread people. Laura's says:

Frost [the gingergirl] sat on the riverbank, and the river made all her memories flow into her mind. Behind everything she was thinking, a voice was telling her to steal anything she could get her tasty cookie hands on.

It's so festive! And disturbing! Holidays! Then for the game, the kids were divided up into four teams of 4 or 5 kids, and each team was given a shopping bag. Inside the bag I had put:

• 10 sheets of red tissue paper


• a couple yards of wide black ribbon, the cheap outdoor "satin" kind


• a big piece of black felt, like an 18" square


• a big piece of cotton batting. I bought a piece intended for a baby quilt and cut it into fourths.


• a handful of black and white pipe cleaners (or "chenille sticks" as they're now called)


• a white pom-pom


• roll of clear tape


• scissors

Each team had a mom to dress. When I called "Go!" the kids dumped out their supplies to see what they had, and got to work crafting their Santa costume. I thought they might be a little too young to make a go of this, but they had fun. They loved the timed aspect of it and the open-endedness, I think. The teacher said she liked having a game that made them work in groups, and that did something creative. Best of all, it was short and intense--five minutes of frenzy, and then we lined up the Santas to judge. As you can see, it was more about the process on this one.

We all decided which Santa was the Most Creative, Funniest, Cutest, of Silliest. As you can tell, this was not an exact science, and you guessed it, everyone is a winner. Jan my co-room mom handed out goody bags, which each had a pencil, a candy, and then a random toy, like a tiny deck of cards or a yo-yo. You know, party favors. Here's where the OMG moment was. The kids were checking out their goody bags, and I was picking up piles of tissue paper, when a mom got right in front of me and said, "Maybe next time, the kids could all have the same toy. Some of them are unhappy with what they got." Only her inflection was like, "Maybe next time. . ."

A range of thoughts flickered beneath my calm countenance, like koi beneath the surface of a pond on an overcast day. One of those koi/thoughts was, "Maybe next time, you could kiss my ass." But oh dear me no I did not say that, because I don't talk that way. I only blog that way. What I said was, "They are?" And she said, "Yeah, my son thinks this is too girly." She held up one of those ring pops. I said, "Because the bag is purple?" And she said, "No, because it's a ring." I smiled and gave her a shrug, and she turned away.

But several problems with this come to mind. Let me say that it is normal and perhaps expected that a 2nd grade boy would think a ring pop is girly. Perhaps that is their way. But I don't think it is expected that a mom will take up this cause. I can't really begin to unfold all of the problems with this exchange. I ask for your help, Reader. It's like a delicate origami onion. Also, and the broader issue, is that she mistakenly thought this children's party we organized was a forum where she could offer feedback and complaints. That was not the case. The job of a mom attending this party--especially a mom who hadn't volunteered to help organize, not that it's that big a deal--is to show up and be delighted with everything. That is how people do. To her kid, she could have said, "Hon, find out if anyone wants to trade, but that's a kid thing, not a mom thing." Or she could have said, "Say thank you and hush your mouth." Either is acceptable. What is it with me and the lecturing lately? Must be that time of year. Holidays!