Be Ye Nice: Tip The Mailman

Yesterday our mail lady Margaret slid her annual Christmas card into our box. The first year we lived here, I was like, "Oh how nice, Margaret wants us to 'enjoy the peace of the season.'" I didn't realize that this was her way of saying, "If you would like to give me a little holiday something, that would be great." For some reason, tipping at Christmas is a very controversial topic. Do some Googling and you'll see. The question of whom to tip and how much elicits the kind of bitter debate usually reserved for questions of breast vs. bottle feeding or whether or not to "Ferberize" your baby. You know what I'm talking about, and you do not want to get in the middle of that. (BTW, put me down for all-breastfed, but formula is not poison; infant cosleeping; yes to babywearing, but not in anything that has been batiked; and modified cry-it-out, but not before six months of age.) Bombs away!

So I tip our mail lady at Christmas. It is not required. The mail carrier is not going to throw your mail down the storm drain if you don't tip. It may not even be customary where you live. But it is nice, and I absolutely think it is smart. I get great service from that lady, all year long, and if you've ever suffered at the mercies of a not-so-good mail carrier, you know what I mean. Your box of checks from the bank? They're at somebody else's house. Priority mail envelopes? Accordioned into your box and reeking of cigarette smoke. Dealing with a bad mail carrier is a constant, low-grade irritant. And a good one is, well, good. I get a fair amount of packages, which Margaret brings all the way up to the door, and when I'm shipping things out, I schedule carrier pickups online (if you're not doing that, check it out because it is wonderful) and she comes up to the garage and takes things away. I don't think it need be a major amount of money, and some people just give cookies or something. Anything is nice, of course. I think last year I gave her a $25 or $30 gift card to Target. Target gift cards are like legal tender to me, but as Matt often says, "Nothing spends like cash." Maybe this year I'll do cash. But it's not a high price to pay for a lot of goodwill.

If you tip at this time of year, who else do you tip? When I still had my cleaning lady, I gave her a gift card (Target of course) for one session's pay. And she usually brought us a bowl of cookies and candy she made. I could see how this could really add up if you had a cleaning lady, the mail person, a nanny (lord I wish), and whoever else. I have heard that people give things to their garbage men, but how does that work? Someone told me that she makes cookies and puts them on top of the can where they'll see them. Something about that is unappetizing, but maybe that's the way to go?

It makes sense to me that plenty of people don't tip, whether because it's not the thing to do where they are or because there is no extra money for that kind of thing. But the people who attempt to justify their not tipping and get all righteous about it. . .I hate to say it, but they often sound like jerks. A glance around the intertubes turns up the following reasons for not tipping:

"I look at his government pension as his tip." What does his pension have to do with you and how you might say thanks?

"The mailman uses our poolside bathroom during his rounds. That's tip enough." Is that you, Donald Trump? You are tacky.

"I tip her every time I pay taxes or buy stamps." Sigh. You probably aren't really a jerk but you sound like a real "Get off my lawn" type. Or one of those people who hates the fact that they have to press one for English.

"I don't tip them because they are overpaid." I think being a mail carrier probably is a good job, but I doubt they are "overpaid."

So, not to get all lecturey up in here, because I think there are different good ways to go about thanking the people who help us everyday, and I'd love to know what you do. Tipping our mail lady is what Works for Me!