Wednesday, July 9, 2014

In The Heat of Summer, Two Marital Moments

In case you haven't seen us in a while, here we are!

Yesterday I left the kids at home, idling in their summer torpor, and met Matt for lunch. After a pleasant interlude, we were walking out, and I said, "Do you like my toenails?" I gestured to my blue polish, which I thought was rather jaunty.

"Yes," he said.

"I did that myself, because I am frugal," I said.

"That's what passes for being frugal now?" he asked.

"Well," I explained, "With tip, it would have been $25 if I'd paid someone to do it."

"Well," he replied, "You could pay someone to wipe your ass."

Um? If anyone can penetrate the labyrinthine convolutions of this husband-logic, please elucidate. Because I was all, whut, and then like, sweetie, I love you so much that I want you to savor this moment of makin' your point and being right, right here on the sidewalk. Zing! Only what I actually said was, "Uhhh...." But it was in there, in the silence maybe.


Last week we were on vacation in the Berkshires. Matt's brother and my lovely sister-in-law have a lake cottage, and we all crammed ourselves into it for a wonderful week of reading and swimming and doing nothing. One night, as Matt and I climbed into bed in our little white bedroom, it struck me that we had spent the entire day side-by-side and were now tucking in to spend several hours in a row right up against each other.

I said, drowsy, "It's nice that we don't get sick of each other."

"Yes," he said. "And for whatever reason, I've decided my highest purpose in life is to please you."

"I like all of that," I said, "Except for the 'for whatever reason.'"

And he laughed with a self-congratulatory giggle that rolled out the open window, wafted through the cool night air, and disturbed some nesting loons, possibly.

That is what's up around here. I'll be back. Meantime, I hope there's somebody who wants to please you. xoxo


Hootie said...

As far as paying someone to wipe one's ass, that's easier said than done. I base this on the lack of responses to my Craigslist post.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, I do have someone who wants to please me and it is me. I bought my birthday present and told my dear hubby he didn't have to worry about it because I had taken care of it. I like to be helpful. We just spent the week on vacation on a ranch in two tiny twin beds, a la I Love Lucy and had few "moments" ourselves.

Elizabeth said...

Reading your blog posts is so worth the wait -- I just loved this one.

Pam said...

nice to have you check in again... isn't it lovely to have the heat of summer? maybe it's lots hotter where you are, but I'm sure the Berkeshires were lovely. So nice to have someone who lives to please you. I have that too, but try not to take advantage of it. every now and then I have him bring me coffee in bed in the morning. so sweet. xoxo take care.

KathyS said...

I am so stoked to see the Matron's new posts (except why am I referring to you in third person? For whatever reason, it pleases me)!

Steve said...

If Matt ever winds up in assisted living, boy is he in for a surprise regrding what people do for money

Common Household Mom said...

Husband-logic still eludes me, too.

My daughter gets paid (but not enough, in my opinion) to wipe people's asses at the nursing home where she works.

Anonymous said...

I'm still-still trying to work that out. Still! xo

Star said...

What a lovely post, what a lovely couple. Thank you for sharing.