"I gotta find the pool where all the hot girls hang out."
Dude.
Dude.
So much to learn.
And later, a much younger teen boy, to a girl swimming by him:
Boy: Hey, are you Ashley?
Girl: No.
Boy: Darn it!
Thank goodness I have already reproduced, because Lord, humans and their mating behaviors. Exhausting.
(Someone's been watching "This Emotional Life" on PBS.)
Now I've arrived at the stage of life where I am officially invisible to young men at the pool. But I find that, for the first time ever, I finally own enough beach towels. Passages, people.
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19 comments:
Teenage boys have no idea. I'm still friends with a few of the guys I was friends with in high school and they've told me as much.
Time for some Billy Collins haiku:
When he found out he
was like oh my god and I
was like oh my god
Am I alone in being relieved by invisibility? I don't have to care. I don't have to shave legs or pits. It's glorious. (I am also lazy.)
This Emotional Life totally rocks! And it does, indeed, put a new lens up through which you view EVERYTHING!
"Overheard at the Lake" (Today)
18 year old swim coach who has been eyeing very pretty 18ish babysitter, "umm, do you have the time?" Before she can answer, three 40 something moms whip out their cellphones and say, "10:30."
He was just, pardon my language, cockblocked by three housewives.
Christine, I am cracking up! That is hilarious and I can totally picture it. I'm sure he was like, I'm working here!
Christine - OMG, hilarious!
I do love being invisible. I just wish I'd been more confident in my thighs back before I was of The Invisible Age. You know, back when one of my thighs wasn't bigger around than the young men who were eying them.
These comments are a blast--just what I needed. If I may copy Christine with a 13 yr old spin....
"Overheard at the Beach" (3 weeks ago)
(3 cute boys are tossing the football on an otherwise quiet beach. Two cute girls walk by and continue on a little bit. Same 2 girls wak on back and watch boys).
Girls to boys: "Do you know what time it is?"
Boys (hardly glancing up), "We don't have a watch. Sorry."
(Dad nearby is shaking his head and supposes the girls will look for older boys now).
I had no idea that asking for the time was still a current and usuable opening! It seems so retro, I love it!
And Michele, were those YOUR three boys? If so, I hope their dad gave them some helpful hints!
My Mom reassures me that when you get to HER age, you're invisible to EVERYBODY, not just young men. So there's that. Sigh.
You could drive a truckload of money up to my doorstep and it still wouldn't convince me to be a teenager again.
Dude. Don't you wish you could've gone to that teenage girl and said, "Honey, don't waste your time!"
Unfortunately, it doesn't always get better. My 30something single friend tells me that a few men her age were recently complaining to her about how hard it is to meet quality single women. Hello!!!
Jason was teasing me the other day cause I've been working out a lot and now, with the cold weather here, my wedding rings are sliding off, so I haven't been wearing them. He was saying "all those young guys" at the gym will be checking me out. I told him I might as well be a potted ficus tree for the notice those young guys are giving me!
Give it a few more years. Then you'll get hit on by old guys. FYI, old guys...not near as much fun as young guys.
As a 30-something singleton myself, I will affirm that boys and pathetic mating rituals never change. Though it has been awhile since someone has asked me about the time. :)
Nevertheless, this post cracked me up! And all the comments too.
Awesome! I'm going to listen harder when I'm at the pool today. My favorite place to eavesdrop: the hair salon.
Is This Emotional Life available via Netflix or is it currently airing?
I think I'm right there with you. I replenished my beach towel stash and we have enough to go a week without washing, it's AWESOME.
Love it, love it. Great comments -- I needed those giggles!
I too have reached the age and stage of invisibility. It ain't all bad.
Dude, you're calling them "young men." We're a whole other species now I think.
(Hecks, did boys look like that when we were teens? They're so gangly and half grown!)
It's been really weird watching the 13 year old boy and 11 year old girl in our house navigating the social scene. Aggie was telling me some serious high drama stories about boyfriends. In 5th grade!!!
And the gal who texts Sam all the time? They're not a thing, I discovered. He said she flirts with everyone. No big whoop.
So glad I'm not a teenager.
Fun post and comments and haiku!
Without the stupidity of teenage boys, the teen pregnancy rate would be even higher.
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